


The body I live in

by Calart, Dr_Compass



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Psychological Trauma, Sex, Slow Burn, Transformation, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-05-15 20:47:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 79,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14797688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calart/pseuds/Calart, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Compass/pseuds/Dr_Compass
Summary: Commander Shepard was brought back to destroy Collectors and save disappearing human colonies. Unfortunately, something isn't right. While Jane tries to find her way in Cerberus lab she didn't feel like her old self. She was sure nothing would be worst then a sudden realization that she was dead for the last two years. Not until she looks at herreflection her face no longer human her body alien to her, only green eyes remain from old Commander Shepard.---------------------------------------------------------------English is not my primary language so I'm sorry for any mistake.All rights go to Bioware and EA I just messing around17-06-2018 rating update to Explicit, most work will stay in T the NSFW chapters will be marked.01-07-2018 Story will take time to develop because of the situation Shepard is in the sexy part will come.15-08-2018 Chapt 13 mark a start in NSFW content, more will come30-12-2018 From chapter 18 Dr_Compass is helping me as a beta reader





	1. Prolog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lazarus project doesn't go as fast and well as Miranda hope. The Illusive man has no other option then combine Miranda work with project Avatar what will happen to Shepard and Galaxy?

Shepard the lone wolf from earth 1st raised by street gangs and the sheer will to survive, until one moment changes her life. Anderson saw potential in her when other saw the problem, something to cast away he took her under his wings to make things right. It changes her, she starts to see good in it others and with herself. Her own life draws a picture of how to make decisions. You just can’t pick what’s easy you need to choose what is right even if it is the hard way. Not always it will be easy, sometimes it will come back and bite you in the ass, sometimes you will have to let others die so other could live but you can never choose the easy path.

 That’s why she couldn’t let Joker die on this ship. She ordered others to move to the save pots making sure Kaidan, Liara, Tali, and others crewmembers were save, then she moves to the cockpit to save Joker.  She hopes that alliance receives the distress call they send and come in time to save them. The crew who manage to survive the 1st wave of attack was mostly in the escaping pod now she needs to get to Joker and make sure they have a chance to fight another day.

She and Joker were so close to the pod, unfortunately, the 2nd attack threw her across the cockpit, so Shepard could only save her pilot and hope for the best for her. It didn’t come, the irking sound of escaping air was the last thing you want to hear in space. She tries to close the gap but she feels it, life slowly leaving her. Jane only hopes that all the sacrifices she has made will make a difference, she saves the council and so many other lives on the Citadel when they defeat Saren Arterius and Geth.

Shepard thoughts come to Garrus, she was proud of him, he was lost, young and naive C-cec officer who believe that been a specter means no responsibility or red tape that you can get rid of your moral spine. Jane save him form that path, show him that you always need something, someone to watch your action that you need that moral guidance.

 

“ _You will be great detective Garrus I wish that I…_ ” it was the last thoughts of Commander Jane Emily Shepard, before here body come with contact with the atmosphere.

 

Somewhere in the deep depths of the Milky Way, a lone figure looked out from the hull of a space station to watch the scene before him. A cold dying star was bursting with flames and solar flares in hues of orange, red and occasionally blue. It was a breathtaking sight to see.

 

“ _Shepard did everything right, more than we could have hoped for,_ ” she began. “ _Saving the Citadel and council, humanity’s place in the galaxy is stronger than ever...but it’s not enough._ ”

 She craned her head round to face the seated figure behind her. The Illusive Man sit in his chair, smoking a cigarette casually.

  “ _Humanity may have a seat on the council, but Shepard was our best hope,_ ”

 “ _But they send her to fight Geth. Geth! Without proper backup, intel and resources like they wish for an accident to happen_ ” Illusive Woman said giving him the datapad. “ _You and I know they’re not the real threat. The Reapers are still out there and now she’s gone_ ”

She paced towards Illusive who become unsatisfied, scrolling through datapads he received. “ _And it’s up to us to stop them, but we need her. But what I see here don’t look promising. 80% body burn out, only the head and brain mostly intact?_ ” Illusive Man said coldly, swiping the datapad to project showing the result of their findings, images of burn body was shown on screen, mostly armor pieces helmet and other non-recognizable artifacts of dead Commander Jane Shepard. He takes another breath form cigarette, looking at another dose of datapad showing the result of Project Lazarus.   

 

“ _The project is taking to long Miranda, and by looks of it even if you succeed she will be more like a robot then living thing she will die the moment when you wake up her_ ” – the Illusive man started looking at Miranda after reading the report of other scientists. “ _So what you wish to do? We need Shepard but some things are irreversible. For now, we manage to get over 70% standard brain activity and we manage to recreate over 45% of the body we just need more time to rebuilt rest of her I hope for…_ ” The Illusive Man look at her stopping her in mid-sentence. “ _The colony are starting to missing one by one faster and faster. The problem is real and we need a solution now, not 2 years from now. Focus on the brain and soon you will be hearing from the head of Avatar project._ ” - Her yes expended

“ _Sir you can’t be serious! No one survives the Avatar testing, you will just throw away almost 1,5 years of my work on her!_ ” – She is stepping on thin ice but accepting help for Adam will only mean defeat and she hates losing. “ _Not only that but you have only one chance for the project to work, if something goes wrong Shepard as we know it will cease to exist and you will end up with a 4 billion husk that looks mostly like Commander nothing more!_ ” – It was last resort for her to stop this madness. The Lazarus project was crazy but in time she could make it happened but now it’s just madness.

“ _It is done Miranda, we are out of time and option, it's all or nothing Shepard is strong she survived worse than that she will be your greatest weapon and allay. You and Adam must succeed the humanity are in stake._ ”  With that last sentence, he gives her a not to leave and go back to work. Miranda pass him thinking of something to say to stop that nonsense, so she finds the courage to do so just before the exiting. 

“ _If we succeed it will destroy her, maybe not in the 1 st  hour day week, but no one has survived longer than that. How you plan to keep her alive if we succeed? Think about it before making a final decision_” Then she left living him alone.

The Illusive man wait until he received notification that Miranda was on the shuttle to Lazarus project, form contact list he chose Adam – “ _You have a green light, yes Lawson in inform and will cooperate with you. If you have any problem with her just give me a signal._ "

"Did you manage to find a solution for neurological shock?” - Adam asks – Illusive men took another dose of his cigarette. “No "


	2. Wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard wake up and find herself in new skin.

 

“ _You will be great detective Garrus I wish that I…_ ” – “Shepard” – Shepard hear something in the distance, her head was spinning her vision blurry, she didn’t feel so bad even after party for saving Citadel and drinking contest with Wrex and the bottle of ryncol, unfortunately for her bottle won. “ _You need to wake up Jane_ ”  she turns to the left to see one who called her “ _It’s unreal_ ” she whispers to herself looking at tall figure dress in a white robe.

 

“ _Who are you? What happens to me? Why? Where we are?_ ” – Jane asks or thinks she is not sure.

 

“ _My child you suffer so much you sacrifice all you could and yet they are still some who want a piece of you. They try to play God Jane, they try to undo what shouldn’t be undone, but you will not survive, not without a miracle.”_ – She didn’t understand a word from It, what that all mean, that is this?

 

“ _I know what trouble you, the path ahead of you will be the hardest you ever face but if you choose We will give you strength to do so_ ”- voices echo around her

 

“ _I have a chose to do what? And why can I chose?_ ” Jane asks It, still not knowing what’s it's about.

 

“ _The free will is a foundation of all things no matter how small how big how complex how simple. That’s why is so fascinating to watch you all._ ” – figure sad smiling at her.

 

“ _So do you Jane Emily Shepard chose to fight one more time for what is right but is not easy?”_

 

Shepard look one more time at the figure in front of her and then it hit her “ _Reapers!_ ” she whispers while looking at It and deep inside her Jane felt something – bum bum bum – the sound becomes louder and clearer to her. Commander look in front of her but she was alone only sound of her heart could be heard, It was gone only mist remain, confuse and still in shock she tries to stand up but she feels heavy “ _So it is done my child please have faith be strong_ ” -  the pain in her chest become unbearable, she couldn’t breathe or think.

 

“ _Wake up my child!!”_ – the airy voice sad with such power she has sworn that her ears bleed and then all become dark.

 

“ _Wake up Commander!"_ she could hear voice command " _Shepard, do you hear me? Get out of that bed now -- this facility is under attack. Shepard. Please, whatever you see whatever you hear please don’t panic. This facility is under attack_.”  She feels sick, like really sick to her stomach while she gets out of the bed she almost toppled on the floor. Catching breath Shepard look around for anything that could help her defend herself

 

“ _On the far end of the room there should be some rack with weapon sorry but for now this armor you’re on yourself must me enough_ ” Female voice echo thru speaker.

 

While Jane was taking a weapon she feels that something was not right, she just couldn't put a finger on it. Wait! Why she got only 3 fingers on her hands? “ _Take a deep breath Jane 1st you need to find an exit and then you need to find some answers to what happened to your hands_.” – with that thinking she starts to move through facility, destroying mech and drones on the way. She come across a room, some have datapad and computers probably with data about her, after a 1st unlucky attempt to hack one of those she try one more time, “ _Goddammit these tree fingers are annoying as hell I hope…_ ” She stops in mid-sentence looking closer to her finger then her hand and arms left and right – “ _No no no it some kind of joke!_ ” – she didn’t lose fingers! Her whole body was different. Panic rose from her chest, she looks around for any glassy surface after a moment she finds a metal panel and she looks at herself. A tall gray and black female turian look at her back with some dark-red spots on end her short fringe, she blinks the other side blink also. Shepard move her right hand so did the reflection, she closes her eyes taking a deep breath.

 

“ _I’m Commander Jane Emily Shepard the Alliance navy, human born on earth raised by Anderson now I’m open my eyes and I will go back to normal this just some hallucination_ ” She opens her eyes and one again turian female look at her, with the same green eyes she remember having, it was not a dream or some sick fantasy, it was reality somehow Jane somehow become full grown female turian!

 

“ _Commander! Shepard! Are you there? The beacon in your omni tool stop moving, respond Commander!”_ – The female voice run thru speakers waking Jane from her trans – “ _You must move forward! The enemy in on the move to your location, now you must focus on surviving all will be clear when we met._ ”

 

“ _How can listen to you if I don’t know who you are or what I am!?!_ ” – Jane barked at her. 

 

“ _I’m Miranda. Miranda Lawson head of project Lazarus we bring you back so you could help us wit…._ ” – the transmission was cut short. Shepard was now on her own, thinking – “ _Bring me back? Wait._ ” Then like the movie it hit her, Normandy, Joker, Liara, and others, attack her ship and her death. Jane took a deep breath, she did die, they somehow resurrect her but inside the body of the turian. But why there similarities in her new body? After all, she has red hair back then and her eyes are the same color, exactly the same! She hears another explosion on her right and knew that decision must be made fast.

 

She moves forward finding that her biotic are working and are stronger than before, but Jane didn’t try it too much not knowing how long she can use it and collapsing now is not an option. After some time the commander meets human, black male Jacob Taylor and together they fight way to exit. He seemed alright but she still didn't know who these people so she fell back into familiar territory; stay quiet, doesn't let on how much you know and how uneasy you fell, doesn’t let them see you are hurt. 

 

What she gather from him was impossible but she was alive and well  transform into turian so yea:  

At 1st The Lazarus project made by Cerberus didn’t go so well as Miranda hope it would.

The 2nd entire human colony is being abducted and somehow only she is able to stop it?

And 3rd someone really wants her dead and it’s someone from inside.    

 

Somehow she knew that Jacob is someone she could trust at least for the most part, something just tell her that – “this body and it senses” – but Wilson well he told different story, he was hurt but something was not right, when she comes close to him, she could hear his heart going like crazy and there was something in the air that she could not proceed, fear, anger, uncertainty?

While she was in her thoughts Jacob and Wilson were arguing and she has no time for it her head is pining and they out of time “ _I don't care who set up who--those mechs are shooting at all of us. We'll sort it out later._ ”

 

Jacob insists, " _We need to find Miranda first. We can't just leave her behind._ "

 

Wilson dismisses him, " _Forget about Miranda. She was over in D wing. The mechs were all over that sector. There's no way she survived._ "

 

" _A bunch of mechs won't drop Miranda. She's alive_." “Then she will contact us when the situation will be under control Shepard sad ending his line of statements, for now, she must get back in shoes of being a leader no matter what.

 

" _This project was Miranda's baby. She'd never sabotage it."_ Jacob cut him shortly looking over commander. 

 

" _But that doesn't change the facts. We're here, she's not. We need to save ourselves. The shuttle bay is only a few blocks away."_

 

They move to the shuttle bay with ease and they were ready to finally evacuate form this facility.

 

Wilson grunts. " _Took a lot of work, putting you back together. Shuttles are that way_ " indicating the doors labeled DOCKING STATION 2. Wilson hurries forward. "C'mon, through here. We're almost at the..." _The doors open. "Miranda! But, you were..."_

 

Miranda proceeds to shoot Wilson in the face. “Dead?”

 

Jacob's response is reasonable. “ _What the hell are you doing?”_

 

" _My job. Wilson betrayed us all._ " Miranda shows no further signs of hostility and looks at Shepard – “ _Well Shepard I’m impressed. You have managed not to lose your mind event after this, unfortunately, wake up. Let's hope you didn’t use your all luck here, you will need more of it later.”_ – Miranda end showing a path to the shuttle.    

 

“ _I don’t have a choice here Miranda, I just want straight answers in the shuttle of what happened to me_ ” – “ _Yes of course_ ” – The Cerberus operative assures her while they move to shuttle that was taking them to next destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for kudos, I hope some of you will get interested in story. See you next time 
> 
> 31-05 Some grammar correction.


	3. The truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shep get answers but does she likes them?

The shuttle they were in was divided by two parts so to speak, on one side you have standard human seats with armrests, the other half was more turian based with seat shape like eggs more or less. Shepard find it more comfortable then it looks so that was a bonus. But with this came a new wave of comprehension of her situation. She is a female turian and there was no turning back now, outside she tries to make a steady calm face, but inside Jane want to cry, destroy shout. She feels emotion burn inside her when looking at Miranda and she could hear  **buzzing clicky noises ** coming from her but didn’t pay too much attention to them, now she needs answers – “ _So what you got for me? How did it happen? And why turian of all things_ ”

 

“ _As I said before we are Cerberus pro-human organization that has one goal. Make better future for all humans_ ” – Miranda start looking at the commander. – “ _It took us almost 2 years to bring you back. This is not the path I choose for you Shepard, Lazarus project just slows down too much, no more great leaps, we hit the wall of science and fiction. You_ can't create from nothing _, we are not a Gods, even if we have all the time you would end up around 45% organic material and rest could be only nano-tech. You would be more machine_ than _a living thing, and synthetic can be easy hack disrupt, one pulse-grenade would be enough to kill you. You wouldn’t survive the pressure and we couldn’t take that risk”_

 

Jane opened her mouth to say something, but Miranda didn’t stop there–

 

“ _We run the simulations Commander, best case scenario month or two and then vegetation, there was no way you would survive on that condition longer. So we were forced to find the other way. How you end up in turian body? We transfer your consciousness using brainwave, but this is not just turian body it was created using your DNA so to speak that where project Avatar come. We combine our effort, Lazarus project provides working brain and Avatar team working body that will accept your brainwave_ ” – Miranda end looking at the commander. She left the part that, there was only one shot at this whole plan if the commander has some mental breakdown or other accident or if she tries to take her life it would be the end. No Shepard isn’t that kind of person at least she hopes so.

 

Jane tries to process all this information but it was so much and still, Miranda didn’t answer all her questions. – “ _Why turian body_?”

 

“ _For that, you will ask Dr. Adam he is the head of Avatar project_.”

 

“ _It’s all insane the brain wave transplant was banned because no one survived that kind of treatment! The eternal life they say, an only new body is needed_ ” – Jane said “ **calmly** ” but in the same time she hears something more coming from her “ **subvocal** ” it just screams “ **how it’s possible**!”

 

They look at commander with concern although Miranda new that some action must be made, the heart rate and brain activity are higher than should be.

 

 _“There were few successful attempts to do so, some patients even survive and don’t forget it was a long time ago technology move forward. Even so, you are right the risk we took was great. But with each passing moment and day, I’m certain that you will survive and become stronger and stronger. That you will adapt to this new body. And will help us with the missing colony_.” 

 

Shepard sigh “ ** _fuck that_** ” then look at humans. Could they hear it? Could they understand it? Suddenly new opportunities show before her, Garrus mention that some part of turian speech human could not understand even with translation if she manages to learn how to control them she wouldn't feel so exposed in this new body. 

 

“ _It looks like your battle skill did not diminish over time Shepard, you really did well as turian gunner.  We manage to save and rebuild your brain and it’s function and I hope your memory. But we more, we need history, story of something that only Commander Knew about_.” – Miranda sad calmly looking at Jane and her reactions. 

 

" _Come on, Miranda, don't you think she had enough excitement for today?_ " Jacob questioned " _I’m sorry commander but this is really important for your memory state. I understand if you don’t want to share some private parts of your life but we_ " Miranda start but then Jane stops her by looking at her.

 

“ _So even great Miranda Lawson isn’t sure who I am ‘ **That just great!"**  _ - Jane take a deep breath - _"Did you know that I was part of the ‘Tenth Street Reds’ gangs back on earth? It was simple you join one or die alone. Then Anderson took me out and I believe I left that life behind me_.” – Miranda was quiet this part of her life was known but she got feeling that it was not all

 – “ _You should see my surprise when being a Spectre and chasing after Saren I meet one of the members of that group ask me to help them!_ **Scums!** \- **_again sub vocals!_**   – “ _Finch want Curt Weisman to get out of prison! For poisoning turian medical supply with red sand, C-cec caught him hot and lock him down. It was great opportunity to show that not all humans are the racist prick. With the help of Garrus and Wrex we use them as bait and this same day all gang members were put in jail._ **Good times!** _”_ Jane ended with a little purr from her.   

 

Miranda was not expecting that, sure she hopes for some memory and confession from commander but not on that scale. Additionally, some word for Commander didn’t translate well, that’s mean she has to use her subvocal but for now it looks like she uses them subconsciously and have little control over them or even is not aware of them.

 

“ _Well Miranda not even 3 hours and Commander make you speechless I’m impressed_ ” Jacob comment giving Jane drink. “ _I think that will be enough question for now. Commander when you go to a facility you will be examined by someone we believe you can trust. Dr. Adam will there to answer your remain question and probably have some guidelines for you to keep you all right. And then you will meet the Illusive man_ ”

 

Rest of the trip was dull, Shepard drink and ate some dextro food and surprising it didn’t taste so bad as she remembers when one try Garrus food as part of ‘knowing your crew’ process. But still her thoughts was raising still so much question – _"Where was everybody what happened to Garrus, Tali, Liara, Kaidan and others and who is that mysterious figure she will trust?"_

 

The new Cerberus base was nothing special on the outside but she knew that looks can be misleading. Miranda escort her to the medical part of the building, inside the room she spots familiar looking human doctor. After she enters the door close behind her and she was alone. The doctor turns around to face her and Jane didn’t feel so relive –“ _Karin! Chakwas!”_ – Jane shouts to doctor closing distance between them hugging her and burying her head in her shoulder.

 

“ _Good to see you too Commander_ ” – Karin sad returning hug on Jane knowing full well is what she needs right now. Jane is strong but everybody has its limits even her, and coming back to life as a Turian is one of them. She scans her face with eyes looking at ‘new’ Commander, while Jane tries to move away, Karin stops her whispering – _“It’s ok Jane you can count on me I'm_ with _you to the end._ Unfortunately _, we have little time_ _for real talk so we will catch up later. I will do all san and make sure they don’t let any unnecessary implant in your body. Please take off your armor”_

 

Shepard “ **sight** ” using **subvocal** but deep down new that Chakwas was right tons of bugs and unfortunately were short on time. The dressing did not cause much trouble with help of Chakwas they start doing scanning of her body.

 

“ _Karin how you know that’s me, that I’m a Commander Shepard instead of some turian who pretend to be one_ ” – Jane ask looking at the doctor after a brief moment.

 

“ _It’s your eyes Jane_ ” – Chakwas replied with a smile. Jane turned her head a little not understanding “ _My eyes? I don’t get it_ ” Karin put her hand on her forehead stroking her gently “ _The is an old saying that eyes are the gate to a person soul. And you have the same look when I saw you 1st time Jane. Now you are a little scared confused, but the same good spark is in your eyes._ ” Jane looks at doctor and nod – “ _That’s mean a lot to me thank you._ ”      

 

After all, testing was ended and Jane was clear and ready to meet Illusive Man, door open and new figure approached them. Carefully study Jane, he takes datapad to start making notes.

 

“ _And who are you?”_   Jane asks looking suspiciously at him

 

“ _I’m Adam the head of Avatar project_ ” he stated closing datapad and smiling at her. But Jane didn’t like that smile at all, it makes her scales itch on the back of her neck something just say ‘danger’ it was posture fake smile and aura of that man but she needs some answers so Jane ask – “ _Before I go what is Avatar project and why did you choose turian body for me?”_

 

“ _The Avatar project was born as an idea of ultimate spy, assassin. If you could transform the human mind to the different alien body you could infiltrate any base in the galaxy any government the possibilities are limitless, but sadly all other attempts fail. You are 1st to survived so long so we have great hopes for you and future of that project._ ” Adam adds smiling at her – “ _As to why turian body well we start with that species and creating you a new body based on your DNA was relatively easy so to speak. I wish you luck Commander if you have more question you can always call me or talk to dr. Chakwas I send her all data about turians._ ” 

 

Then he left them. Leaving Jane more confused and uncertain than before.

 

Jane took a deep breath “ _I really wish that **Garrus** was here with us it would make things easier_ ”  Karin put a hand on her shoulder – “ _1st things 1st you go and talk to Illusive Man and maybe he will have more information about your old squad._ ”

 

“ _Yea_ ” Jane sight, going to meet the Illusive Man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be no faster than 9-10.06, vacation time. I hope you will enjoy.


	4. Catching up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from holidays, that's mean another chapter enjoy

Jane comes to a simple conclusion after a brief conversation with Illusive Man. She can’t fully trust him, after all, they do to her he didn’t even bother to talk to her face to face. Not only that but he didn’t look so confident in her ability to lead when she lost her recognizable look and become someone so different only the knowledge and skill of Commander Shepard left. This last part also worried her, how she is supposed to lead a team of skill assassin technician and soldiers when they could just don’t believe her as who she is in this body. Not only that but Illusive Man didn’t state what will happen to project Lazarus and Avatar now, are they done or still continue they research and what they plan to do with half of her body or what left of it.  The worst news, however, concerned her old comrades, Kaidan was still with the Alliance but his file was surprisingly well classified, Wrex go back to Tuchanka and try to unite the Krogran race,  no information on Tali but Jane quest that she should go back to the M Migrant Fleet. Her heart race a little when she asks for Garrus but unfortunately turian disappeared a few mounts after she was declared dead, Even Cerberus haven't been able to locate him. While being in the armory and prepare for departure on Freedom’s Progress she really feels alone in a long time. Not since her time on earth she feels so alone and vulnerable to people around her. She did not like being dependent on others especially people like Cerberus who will exploit it if giving a chance.

 

Now she wore a custom turian medium armor to bust her adrenaline when needed and help her with the biotic attack, additionally, she decided to have two heavy pistol and 2nd Omni blade on her right hand. She chose two heavy pistols because it feels natural and with the new turian body they didn’t feel so heavy as before.  With the addition of one SMG and heavy weapon for bigger targets like mech and so on she was ready to face Freedom’s Progress.

 

The mission starts smoothly taking mech with Miranda and Jakob was easy enough so she could focus on controlling biotic and movement of her new body. Some things were off like movement and her center of gravity but soon enough she catches her rhythm. Additionally, she notices that her biotic are more powerful and she doesn’t get tired so fast maybe she could work with it? 

 

It all goes as Miranda hope, Shepard has managed to grasp how to shoot and her calls were well calculated and responsible, her ability was precise and well executed. She was a little shock when commander put additional Omni blade to use while her left-hand use singularity to destroy another mech, but it was effective. Miranda start do believe that Shepard could overcome her body with mind and pull herself together to help them fight Reapers. While Jakob hacks another door she checks on commanders vitals and diagrams all normal so unless some great catastrophic event comes they should be good and risk of mental rejection will be minimal.  With that door open and they come to a group of quarians ready to shoot them on site and low whisper of commander – “ _Tali..?_ ”

 

It's was a nightmare to Miranda, if this goes wrong Shepard will die in less then a day and all will be lost. She takes a deep breath and watches commander vitals.

 

For Tali the mission was simply to get out her friend from Freedom’s Progress but he reprograms droids to attack anything that moves. So, for now, she and her team try to find a way to Veetor that was here on Pilgrimage. When the door opens she look at most bizarre setup possible Cerberus operatives lead by female turian without any colony markings. Before she could do anything weapons has been drawn by her squad mates ready too shot intruders.

 

“ _Prazza! You said you’d let me handle this!_ ” – Tali sad commending her squad to drop weapons while looking at the group that lower them on order of turianess. She still couldn’t grasp what happened, Cerberus was full only human organization and put in danger the Migrant Fleet but she was looking at well-organized group lead by a non-human. Before she could come to the conclusion she hears **_whispers_** – “ **Tali it’s it’s me Shepard** ” – **commander sad with the added tone from her subvocal.**

 

She looks closer at female turian astonished that she claims to be her long-dead Commander Shepard. Tali look closely and suddenly start to see some similarities to her old commander especially the eyes and her short red ended crest are similar, only her eyes have great sadness with them.  Before she could  decide on her next move Prazza sad –“ _Bullshit Commander Shepard was a human who dies 2 years ago and she would never work for Cerberus!_ ” It was something even Tali have to agree to, her great Commander was dead and last time she checks was human, not turian. Looking at her she seeks answers.

 

Jane feels sick to stomach like never before, the 1st wave or relief after seeing Tali was repaired by an uncertainty of how to deal with this situation. It sticks and hurt her to the core so she decides to be honest with her fellow friend to share her story with someone she trusts – “ _I die Tali, the Cerberus save and rebuild my brain but could rebuild my body so they transfer my consciousness using brainwave technology so I could help them_ ”. – Tali was shocked by that – “ _So you try to tell me you are my former commander Shepard? But in the new body?_ ”      

 

Shepard knew that this would come. No one recognizes her even her old friends but she creates a strong bond with her former squad mates and helps them on the way back on the Normandy – “ _You remember the Geth Data. Did it help you complete your pilgrimage?”_ – Jane ask hopped Tail would believe it was her inside this body.

 

 _“Yes, it did!”_ Tali answer coming closer to Jane and hugging her lightly when so close the quarian could feel a **low rumble** coming from the commander.  

 

“ _Why is your old commander working for Cerberus inside turian body?_ ” Prazza asked still looking suspiciously at the group.

 

_“I don’t know. Maybe we should ask.”_

 

“ _As I said I died. They spent two years trying to rebuilding me, but situation change so they decide to put me in this body using brainwave technology to help them investigate attacks on human colonies.”_ – Shepard sad again.

 

“ _Likely story. No organization would commit so many resources to bring back one soldier. And brain wave transfer is deadly, no one survives longer than few weeks!”_ – Prazza sad

 

“ _You have not seen Shepard action Prazza. Trust me._ ” Tail defended. Cerberus or not she was alive but the technology use could kill her and that worried her. Right now, that was the only thing that mattered. “ _Perhaps we can work together. We are here looking for young Quarian named Veetor Tour he was here on pilgrimage._ ”

 

“ _That’s odd. A quarrian visiting a remote human colony?_ ” Jacob ask.

 

“ _We can choose where we go on Pilgrimage. Vector liked the idea of helping a small settlement. He was always…nervous in crowds._ ”

 

“ _She means he was unstable. Combine that with damage to his suits scrubber and an infection to open-air exposure, and he is likely delirious._ ”

 

“ _When he saw us, he hid in a warehouse on the far side of town. We suspect he also programmed the mechs to attack anything that moved.”_

 

“He is the only one who can tell us what happened here. We should work together to find him” – Jane offered.

 

“Good idea, we will need two teams to get past the drones anyway.” Tali agreed

 

 _“Now we’re working with Cerberus?”_ Prazza argued.

 

“No Prazza. You’re working for me. If you can’t follow orders go wait on the ship.” Tali bit him. He has been a pain in her side this whole mission. “Head to the warehouse through the center of the Colony. We’ll circle around the far side and draw off some of the drones to clear you a path.”

 

“Sounds good. Let’s get going. Make sure to stay in radio contact”

 

 _“Will do…Shepard, whatever happens…it’s good to have you back.”_ Tali said as Jane nodded and started to move to the center of the colony as Tail’s team moved to the circle around.

 

Moving through the buildings they came across more mechs. Coming up to the loading bay doors they take cover as Tali opens them. With Prazza and his team ahead of them they needed to get there fast if they wanted answers.

 

As the doors opened they could see that Prazza was not going to a problem as him and his team was slaughtered by a heavy mech.

 

“ _That mech as heavy armor plate. Those Quarians didn’t stand a chance.”_ Taylor observed as the group moved for cover.

 

 _“This is going to be one tough son of a bitch to take down,”_ Miranda added.

 

Taking the shield down with Overload and a few well-aimed launcher shots took down the YMIR mech. With it destroyed the team moved into the warehouse that Veetor was in.

 

 _“Monsters coming back. Mechs will protect. Safe from the swarm. Have to hide. No Monsters. No swarm. No-no.”_ Veetor mumbled to himself

 

Approaching the man as he plugged away on the screens Jane carefully inquired “ _Veetor_?”

 

“No Veetor Not here. Swarms can’t find. Monsters Coming. Have to hide.”

 

 _“Nobody is going to hurt you anymore.”_ Jane tried to claim him

 

 _“I don’t think he can hear you, Commander,”_ Taylor said as he watched the man unraveling before them

 

“Have to hide, Have to hide..” hacking into the screens from his Omni tool Jane shut them off to gain Veetor’s attention. Noticing the group he finally stood up and faced them “ _You are turian and humans. Where did you hide? How come they didn’t find you?_ ”

 

 _“Who did not find us?”_ Miranda asked

_“The…the monsters. He swarms. They took everyone.”_

 

 _“Why did they not fight back. What happen?”_ Jane pressed

 

 _“You don’t know. You didn’t see. But I see everything”_ Turing on the screens again Veetor started to play security footage. Bugs were flying around, pods floating, unknown creatures.

 

“ _What the hell is that?”_ Taylor asked as he watched a being guiding a pod.

 

 _“My god. I think it’s a Collector.”_ Miranda exclaimed

 

 _“A what”_ – Jane ask.

 

 _“They’re a species from somewhere beyond the omega 4 relay. Only a few people have ever seen one in person._ ” Taylor explained

 

 _“They usually work through intermediaries, like slavers or mercs. If they’re involved with the Reapers somehow, it could explain what happened to the colonies.”_ Miranda added

 

_“They have an advanced tech. They could have a weapon the disables an entire sentiment at once.”_

 

 _“The seekers' swarms. No one can hide. The seekers find you. Freeze you. They the monsters take you away”_ Veetor explained as the video played on to its end

 

_“These swarms?”_

 

_“It’s how they find you. Seeker clouds. Machines like tiny insects. They go everywhere. They find you. Then they sting you. Freeze you.”_

 

 _“Sounds like miniature probes maybe; Find victims, then immobilize them with a stasis field or toxin”_ Miranda surmised

 

 _“What happens next,”_ Jane asked Veetor

 

_“The monsters took the people onto the ship and then they left. The ship flew away. But they’ll be back for me. No one escapes!”_

 

 _“Commander, I think that is all we are getting out of him_ ” – Taylor says with a small sigh

 

_“I studied them. The monsters. The Swarm. I recorded them with my Omni-tool. Lots of readings. Electromagnetics. Dark energy.”_

 

 _“We need to get this data to the Illusive Man. Grab the Quarian and call the shuttle to come to pick us up.”_ Miranda ordered

 

 _“What? Veetor is injured! He needs treatment, not an interrogation_!” – Tali argue while entering the room

 

 _“We won’t hurt him. We just need to see if he knows anything else. He’ll be returned unharmed.”_ Taylor explained

 

 _“Your people tires to betray us once already. If we give him to you, we’ll never get the intel we need.”_ Miranda added with an air of superiority

 

_“Prazza was an idiot, and he and his men paid for it. You’re welcome to take Veetor’s Omni-tool data. But please. Just let me take him.”_

 

“Join us….like old times” Jane interjects.  Having Tali with his again, she need that.

 

 _“I can’t…I am on a mission of my own. It is too important for me to abandon…even for you.”_ Tali start coming closer to Jane and hugging her – _“You must find Garrus Jane, he is lost without you and he will help you out. Last time I check he was going to Omega”_ – Tali whisper to Jane while hugging so other couldn’t hear it. 

 

Understanding Jane nodded - _“Veetor goes with Tali. He is traumatized and needs medical care. Tali will give us the Omni-tool data and take him to the flotilla.”_ She ordered with no room to object having some new purpose.

 

“ _Understood Commander_ ” Miranda complied bitterly

 

 _“Thank you, Shepard. I’m glad you’re still the one giving the orders. Good luck out there. If I find anything that can help you, I’ll let you know.”_ Tali said as she began to guild Veetor out of the building.

 

Jane look at her friend with newfound hope for herself now to Illusive man to make a report.

 

This whole mission could be the last one for the commander, Miranda was shocked at ridings. The risk of rejection or mental break down was at its highest. But for now, all things consider commander hold up pretty well. She transfers this data to Kelly Chamber so she could prepare herself for the commander.

 

\------------------

 

 _“Shepard, Good work on Freedom’s Progress.”_ The Illusive man congratulated as best as a snake could. “The Quarians forwarded their findings. No new data, but it’s a surprising olive branch given our history. You and I have different methods but I cannot argue with your results.”

 

Illusive Man has suspicions, but have no proof. The Collectors are enigmatic at best. They periodically travel to the terminus systems, looking to gather seemingly unimportant items or specimens. Usually in exchange for their technology. When their transactions are complete they disappear as quickly as they arrive back beyond the unmapped Omega 4 relay. Until now we had no evidence of direct aggression by the collectors.

 

Continuing their conversation, it was clear that the Illusive man was sure the Collectors and Reapers were connected. That the Reaper threat was still there, something Jane agreed on.

 

 _“If this is a war I will need an army. Or a really good team.”_ Jane sad

 

_“I’ve already compiled a list of soldiers, scientists, and mercenaries. You’ll get dossiers on the best of them. Finding them and convincing them to work with you could be challenging. But You’re a natural leader your new body could make some problems but your spirit lives on. I will continue to take to Collectors. When they make their next appearance, I’ll notify you and your team. Be ready.”_

 

Once again Commander get feelings that Illusive Man can’t be trusted, he only cares about mission humans and goals but for now, she must swallow it and work with him. Firstly no one cares about humans colony and seconds with this new body she was nobody, just clanless turian with no restores and backup. She needs to find a way to go to Omega without rising any suspicion and find information about Garrus. Thankfully solution comes to her –

 

“ _Two things before you go. First, head to Omega and find Mordin Solus. He's a brilliant salarian scientist. Our intelligence suggests he may be able to counteract the Collectors paralyzing seeker swarms. Also on Omega Zaeed Massani, a mercenary we hired awaits you there_ ”

 

 _“So Omega 1st, what’s the other thing_ ” – Jane ask not liking that the man was giving orders but wanting this conversation over with.

 

 _“I found a pilot I think you might like. I hear he’s one of the best. Someone you can trust.”_ Cutting the call, the Illusive man ends the conversation.

 

As Jane looks around she heard a familiar voice.

 

“ _Hey, Commander. Just like old times, huh? But with this new body, did you also get a killing stick?”_ behind her was Joker trying to crack a smile.

 

 _“I can’t believe it’s you Joker”_ Walking the halls the two catch up. Jane is stunned that Joker is here, and thrilled. Having someone she can trust was a good thing.

 

 _“Look who’s talking I saw you get spaced.”_ Joker sad looking at her – _“I’m sorry Jane if I wasn’t so stubborn it would never happen to you”_ taking her into a hug. Jane returns it **with a purr coming from her chest** – “ _It’s ok Joker I would do that again_ ” – They both smile. 

 

 _“How’d you get here?”_ Jane asks while walking with him.

 

_“It all fell apart without you commander. Everything you stirred up, the council just wanted to go. The team was broken up, records sealed, I was grounded. The Alliance took me one thing that matter to me. Hell yeah, I join Cerberus.”_

 

_“You really trust the Illusive man?”_

 

 _“I don’t trust anyone who makes more than I do. But they aren’t all bad. Saved your life mostly. Let me fly, and there is this.”_ Coming to a window the two stopped at the lights on the other side came to life. _“They only told me last night after all you need something special”_ emerging from the darkness was a beautiful ship. “ _It’s good to be home huh Commander?”_

 

Nodding Jane agreed. _“I guess we will have to give her a name.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure if there is the 'she' version of word turian. Like turianess or turianesses please help me out with that one.


	5. SSV Normandy sr2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for all kudos! Here is next chapter I hope you will all enjoy.

Jane stepped inside the new Normandy with Jacob and Miranda just behind

“ _Welcome aboard the new Normandy, Commander,_ " Jacob said.

 

She looked around after she stepped into the CIC. Her eyes lit up with admiration. “Cerberus really did a great job but I must be aware of every bug and camera here” – **_sneaky pyjack_**. “ _Do we need any more people to run this ship?_ ” Jane asked after stopping at the command section.

 

“ _No, Commander. They're at their stations awaiting your orders_." Miranda answered.

Jane looked up at the holographic display of the Normandy in front of her and checked the status of the ship and the various systems. All were indicating that the Normandy is functioning and ready.

 

Miranda's voice broke her thoughts. " _I've been looking over the dossiers. I'd strongly recommend starting by acquiring Mordin Solus, the salarian professor on Omega."_ Miranda start.

 

“ _We are going to Omega to get Archangel 1 st_” – commander stated looking at Cerberus operatives – “ _After all the 3 people from dossiers are there, Zaeed Massani the mercenary for hire who awaits us, dr. Solus, and mention Archangel_ ” – Jane concluded – “ _I made some research before coming here Miranda and It looks like this Archangel is some kind of vigilante group leader. And thugs on Omega don’t like that kind of people there. So have little time to get him, if he is still alive”_ **I hope so – Jane subvocal add.**

 

Miranda look at commander her transmitter indicate that Commander again uses her **subvocal** as long as Jane can’t control them it was nothing to worry about, more or less it was a good sign, that her body and mind start to become one and risk of rejection become lower and lower by each passing moment. Her 1st night here will be the true test. She could go to sleep and never wake up. Let's hope for best. But Miranda doesn’t like to be pushed so easy - _"We know the Collectors use some type of advanced technology to immobilize their victims. We'll need to develop a countermeasure to protect ourselves. Without it we are defenseless so still, I would recommend taking dr. Solus 1st_ "

 

“ _That’s why we go straight to Omega and stay there as long as we need to make sure there will be no surprises later. Is there anything that requires my immediate attention? –_ Jane asks Miranda, but to be true that questions were for all Cerberus agent, she could hear the whispers behind her back, yes that turian body has its perks.

 

 _“Acquiring Archangel 1 st  seems like the most logical place to start._" A feminine voice chimed in. _“Who are you?"_ – Jane asked, staring at the ship's intercom. She wasn't prepared for anything like this,

 

 _“I am the Normandy's artificial intelligence. The crew likes to refer to me as EDI._ " - The holographic projection introduced itself. “ _Having an AI in charge of the Normandy systems should give us an advantage. Or you are here to spy on me?"_   Jane said.

 

" _Actually, I am not in control of the ship, Commander. Due to the potential dangers of a rogue AI, Cerberus has severely restricted my capabilities. During combat, I operate the electronic warfare and cyber warfare suits. Beyond that, I cannot interface with the ship's systems. I observe and offer analysis and advice. And I'm also tasked to monitor your health parameters when you are on the ship and to make sure you are save. In an emergency I'm ordered to contact Dr. Chakwas or Miranda_ " – EDI explained

 

That was just great, she will have no time for herself if that AI will constantly monitor her – _“Well healthy commander is a healthy ship”_ – Jane said trying to smile at Miranda.

 

The situation would be comical if not that Miranda knew that smile was a fake one and also been exposed to a full roster of her commander's teeth make her little uneasy. She knew that Jane cannot feel uncomfortable in her own ship. – “ _Commander in your quarters there is no camera or hidden_ _microphone only sensors to detect anomy with your health and you can always log out so you could feel 100% privet, I assure you”_ Miranda ended looking at commander that face back to “normal” state.

 

” _Final preparations for takeoff are complete, Commander_ ” – Joker's voice sounded through comm. Nodding in satisfaction Jane said– _"Move us out Joker, curse Omega”_  

 

 – “ _Yes, Commander”_ –  Nodding in satisfaction Jane turned towards Jacob and Miranda. " _Besides being part of my team, what are your positions on the Normandy?" –_   _"I'll be your executive Officer of the Normandy. I'll manage the day to day operations, such as logistics and maintenance. Also monitor your body and mental state to ensure you will survive the transition, with Kelly Chamber our psychiatrist and dr. Dr. Chakwas we hope to keep you in good shape Commander "_ Miranda answered. Jane couldn't help but agree that someone as professional as Miranda can do a lot as an Executive Officer but she has a nagging feeling that she also has other duties besides keeping her alive.

  

 _"And what are your other duties, aside from keeping an eye on me?"_ – Miranda knew she will see through it and she didn't disappoint her. With a hint of a smile on her lips, she answered, " _I'm the Illusive Man's agent. You're his most important asset. My job is to make sure you succeed and survive. Aside from that, I send regular reports to the Illusive Man, updating our status."_

 

Hearing her words a grin appeared on Jane face one more time showing all her beautiful teeth. Miranda raised her eyebrows questioningly –  " _Did I say something funny, Commander?_ " – –  " _No. It's that I always hated paperwork’s."_

 

Jane look at Jacob asking   _"What about you?"_

 

"I'm the Armory Chief. I'll be in charge of maintaining or upgrading all the weapons, armor, and any new weapons tech we get our hands on." Jacob informed. – _“Good I have few ideas about this armor you gave me. It could have used some improvement”_ – Jane stated, and Jacob nodded in understanding.

 

 _"Jacob and I should return to our posts. Come to find us if you have any questions."_ With that Miranda left. Jacob followed her after saluting Jane. – _“Once a marine always marine”_ – Jane thought looking at a back of her comrade.  As soon as Jane was left alone a young woman approached her. She was really pretty with short-cut red hair and green eyes. She saluted her with a smile. " _I'm Yeoman Kelly Chambers. I've been assigned as your administrative assistant. "_ She introduced herself. _"I'll manage your messages, and help you monitor the crew, and your health as you know already"_ She stopped looking over Jane from toe to end of her reddish fringe –  " _And I must add, it's such an honor to work under you, Commander Shepard. Even in this new body, your aura is still present."_

 

She flirted which catch Jane by surprise after all Cerberus was pro-human organization and not in 10 min into the ship some try to flirt with her! – _“And you have no problem with my turian body?"_ – Jane asks her, gesturing on her still know knowing how she feels about it.

 

 _“Commander I’m open-minded, I have study Asari Drells Quarians Turians Salarians and more to prepare for our mission. I study your psychological profile and some things will probably change because of your transfer to a new body your action in last 24h prove that your core spirit or soul if you prefer, is with us. Not all things can be scientifically explained, and I have good feelings about you Commander”_ – Kelly adds still smiling at Commander. – “ _I'll keep you notified of any messages or appointments you might have. If any of the crew has important business to discuss, I'll make sure you know and if you have any problem or question don’t be afraid to ask I'm here to help you."_ With that, she moves to her post leaving Jane confused.   

 

Jane inspects rest of the ship meeting and tries to make a talk with people on their post with mix result some were openly happy that they can serve under her, others were less optimistic but they try to hide that. In engineering room, she meets Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels the two seems to be energetic and share their opinion about Cerberus and why they leave the alliance. Unfortunately for Jane the news didn’t sound good it’s like only her crew and Anderson relay see the real danger and other just push things aside after her death. She must take this into consideration when visiting Citadel in near future. Leaving them she could hear them  – “ _I'm amazed Shepard come down to see us_ ” – “ _I told you she would._ ” That and other little things help her feel safer on Normandy. Some people will trust her because she is the Commander Shepard no matter the skin others well, others will need some help.

 

Jane comes inside her quarters and feels strangely alienated, but after a moment she comes to a realization that room was furnished with mostly turian style. Turian bed turian shape like big cereal bowl with many pillows help her with carapace and neck, desk and another turian egg shape armchair. On left main wall Jane found something that stuns her, the freaking aquarium that took big part of a wall, in Jane mid total waste of space. – “ _The aquarium was designed to help you relax Commander you can choose Plaven or Earth fish if you like but tell me before so I could adjust to your choosing_ ” – The AI sad. While inspecting her quarters Jane run simple bug scanning program that Tali left her to make sure that at least there were no cameras like Miranda sad after few minutes and to her surprise no camera or additional microphones where detected – _“_ A least it’s my own little castle” - Jane thought. It was all good until she looked up and her heart stop, on the ceiling was freaking window to space! She was hit by the wave of memory, her dying her last thoughts, her last breath and distant memory of tall figure.

 

She tries to catch a breath but couldn't, her vision becomes blurry and obscure, then she sees in the distance familiar face, **“Garrus!”** – Jane shouts coming back to herself. – _“Commander do you need an assistant?”_ – AI ask, and after a moment she repaid that question – “ _No thank you, Edi, just please close the window”_ Edi wait for a little before asking – “ _Will you be all right commander? I could call dr. Dr. Chakwas or Miranda or…” –_ The AI started but was interrupted by strong and reassuring voice of Commander – _“ No, it will not be necessary Edi, I.. I just need hot shower and good time sleep that will be all there is no need to worry, just keep that window close all time”_ – Jane sad waiting for her answer – _“Login you out Shepard”_  

Jane move to undress, she put her armor away and start to strip her under armor while her heart starts to race again, this is it for the 1st time she will see herself in full glory but is she ready to see it? She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes her undersuit goes away and she feels the air on her entire body for the 1st time. Jane noticed that she wear only panties, so what, turian women don’t have breast? She must take a hot shower she is exhausted and tired but she needs to open her eyes to do so. “You live only once Jane” – she tries to chuckle from her own joke but only **“clicky”**  noises come from “So this is my laugh now?” – Commander thought not entire belief in that conclusion.

 

Jane opens her eyes and was greeted by sight of her almost naked if you count pants female turian body. She put the shower on and welcome strong and hot stream of water. It feels different.  She tries to feel it like old time but inspecting further she discovers that her body was mostly covered in plates and between them were parts of thick hide making her flexible and all feel like she is a living tank. After the shower she turns to a big mirror to have a better look at herself, there was no breast of any sort only big chest plates. The mix of light gray plates and black thick hide make a nice pattern on her, at least that what she hopes so. It also serves as addition defense judging by the thickness of some scale and plates on her.   Coming closer she have a better look at her face, her front plate the crest has nice light gray color to it and her short fringe ended with nice deep dark red color reminiscing of her old hair. Looking closely she spotted that neck and back of her head that was free of her light gray protective scale have dark blue color? Jane looks closely she remembers when inspecting herself for the 1st time she could swear that color was black. Taking a deep breath and try to control her heartbeat she looks again and was stunned. Slowly but slowly blue pigment faded and her skin becomes more black then blue having fast look at her other black spots she notices that some of them have more blue color to it that was starting to fade as well!. _“_ What’s is that! _”_ – she thought to herself, shaking her head she open her mouth reviling rows of sharp teeth and azure tongue which was surprisingly long and bright almost glowing? Now she was really confused, she needs to ask Garrus about all of this. Last part she inspects is hands with 3 fingers that ended with nice sharp claws so did her feet, raptor style – “ _Last line of defense_ ” – Jane summed up her new look, wiping remaining water from her and one last time looking at her reflection.

 

She never considers herself beautiful and back in the military, she didn't try to find a boyfriend because there was always no time for that and later after she becomes The Hero of Elysium people only see Commander Shepard.  Of course, there was this strange relation with Kaidan, for her she was brother in arms they serve together for a long time and she considers him really close friend but after Elysium and becoming specter his attitude change. Jane suspects that Kaidan have more feelings for her but she never gives him anything more than a warm smile. And while chasing Saren she finds herself pulled towards Liara in the end, they become relay good friend probably because Liara been inside her head more than once and Jane give her great support after there were forced to killing Benezia. Then her thoughts come to Garrus, with her help he becomes a better person, and his skill greatly improves over his service on the Normandy. A small smile came across her face of old memories they talk his gesture, his smile and blue eyes. She remembers that sometimes around her he becomes uneasy, did he feel something for her? Jane starts to fast analyze her relationship with Garrus but after a moment she gives up, she was tired and need sleep. To know for sure she will have to ask him.

 

She moves out to her bedroom putting pants on and decided to have long at least 10h sleep, she has at least 15h until they reach omega so there will be plenty of time to prepare.  Instantly when her head touch pillows she falls into deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, folks, I start to use 'app grammarly' and I hope that help improves quality of my work leave a comment if you know better tools to help me with grammar errors or if this will be enough.


	6. Closing time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane will face the Queen of Omega how it will go?

Jane wakes up and It hit her again, she is alive in new female turian body, bring back by Cerberus to help with disappearing human colony. She takes another breath and looks at the clock, she only sleeps around 5 and a half hour and feels great. She has plenty of time before docking Omega so she decided to go to the mess hall and eat something. She put on standard clothes having a little difficulty because of her sprouts and cowl. When she was finally ready to she moves out to the kitchen looking for something to eat. While at lookout for the AI come to live _– “ Commander your dextro supplies are on the right side in the top cupboard fell free to use it for now”_  Jane move and start to grab strange looking packaging when it hit her, she was never good at cocking back in the days so how she supposed to make herself food from alien ingredients? – “ _Am I supposed to cook for myself entire mission or there is something I don’t know?”_ – Jane ask EDI

 

“ _No commander while we dock Omega your personal cook will come aboard with additional supplies to make sure you eat healthily, your body needs much more nutrition. For now, I suggest using one of made up meals from box A-1. I will send you information about her to your datapad.” –_ EDI end.

 

Jane prepares her breakfast hoping that this made up ration taste any good but at that moment she was just too hungry to care. Impatiently waiting for her meal she set up and start reading information about her personal cook. To her surprise, the cook happens to be a female turian with standard background military start at age of 15 and the military service but there was some incident that prevents her from ending her services, she is described as un disobedient, not following order and troublemaker.

“Ding” – Jane move out to take her food and even it didn’t smell so well she starts to devour it and continue her overview on female turian. In the end, she ends up serving as a cook on stations, some ships and distance colony never really staying in one place. On next page was all information birth date clan allegiance, colony name so on and so on. For Jane, the most important was name “Paretia Dexitius” and her look. Her white front plate contrasts heavily with rest of her brown head and her yellow colony markings were nicely visible. For she looks suited for the job after all she only have to make her meals nothing too hard.

 

After she finally ended her meal she still has much free time before they would hit omega. Jane decides to hit a workstation to start rebuilding her strength and endurance, she will need that in upcoming days, but then it hit her again as a human she knows her routine her exercises she looks at the medical center and saw that dr. Chakwas was up so she went in that direction.

_“Hello Jane, how are you feeling”_ – doctor welcome her.

 

 _“Consider all this I'm still overwhelmed by the fact that Cerberus manage to bring me back in the turian body.”_ Jane started – “ _I almost remember dying Karin for me all went dark and suddenly I was in Cerberus lab at 1 st I didn’t know that I become a female turian.” _Dr. Chakwas put her hand on her shoulder - _“I know it won’t be an easy commander, to accustom to this new situation, but I believe there is more than just science to your return.” “What do you mean?”_ – Jane ask? Looking at good doctor, great sadness appears on her face. _“Jane I’m a doctor, I know stuff that Miranda doesn’t want to share with you, but keeping this a secret will make no good to you. Fact that you are here talking with me, by the way, know that you speak turian all the time most of it is translate but some subvocal part cannot be translated. The palaveni version I believe”_ – Doctor stun her – “How, how **it’s possible!”** – Jane asks and then it hit her, it wasn’t English, it was a different language with the added tone from **subvocal!**

_“From the notes I gather it was a standard process, imprinting basing information before the consciousness could be transfer, otherwise it was guarantee failure. Why is so easy for you to walk, put your clothes on, you even have no problem in reading datapad that was in turian language the basic stuff that turian learn from birth after all Avatar project mean to create ultimate spy. But back to my main thoughts, you fight like old time in some aspect even better, you wake up today without a problem and didn’t break down yesterday it’s all miracle that_ _science_ _didn’t see for a long time.”_ – Her hands move to Jane mandible stroking her lightly. _–“I’m telling you all this to help you understand the importance of sharing your problem with others, Jane. I know how stubborn you can get, but your emotion could be your demise. So go and find Garrus, his presence will be really helpful, there is so much I or others can help you.”_

Jane look at the good doctor _“There is a strong possibility that he is Archangel”_

_“You thinks so?”_

“ _The evidence is strong but it could be all coincidence so I don’t have much hope”_

_“Let us hope for the best commander, you need someone you can trust 100% who can guide you in your new situation”_  - Jane smile to her, it was really good to have her back. 

They talk a for a little while, Jane gets instruction how her work out routine should look like but knew that only with other turian she could make progress in other aspects. For now, she will focus on rebuilding her strength. In next few hours she trains hard and prepares herself on the mission ahead of her to get Archangel she will need help from Miranda and Jakob, unfortunately, Masani was a well-known pirate and his present would make more harm than good.  After workup, weapon training, she customize her armor so she has a better view of her surrounding, additionally, she made some paint job, so her “new” shiny black armor with painted N7 logo on her chest was ready for action.

 

 _“1 hour to dock commander” –_ The voice of Joker rang through speakers    

 

Jane moves to meet with Miranda and Jacob she finds them eating in the mess hall. – _“Be ready when we dock omega, I’m sure Kelly can handle our new addition to the crew while we get Archangel and then dr. Solus, Zaeed Massani, for now, will remain on the ship I get to know him better before taking him on the mission.” –_ Jane greet them

_“Yes, commander,”_ Jakob said.

“As you wish” – Miranda answered looking at commander that make to her quarters.

 

Jane didn’t notice but Miranda didn’t sleep well this night, yesterday after a brief signal from AI she was sure that all is lost. Fortunately, Shepard manages to pull herself together, but still, she didn’t sleep well knowing that Commander could not wake up. She greets information that Jane manage to wake up and even start training with great relief. Shepard show great stubbornness, and her sense of duty push her forward let’s hope that luck will be with them.  

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Omega the “heart of evil" one would say, for others "the place of secrets", for many "the world without law", and for some "land of opportunity in big summary if you want something illegal you will find it on Omega. Paretia received a message that Normandy has start docking procedure, finally, her mission could start. The hierarchy chose her especially for that kind of mission she is one of the best, in infiltration and her ability to blend into many roles makes her great asset.

 

There were rumors that pro-human terrorist organization plan to bring legendary hero of Citadel Commander Shepard back to life, but something didn’t go right and rumors said that they scrap idea to introduce the world to “fake” commander in turian body claiming that they transfer her consciousness using brainwave technology. Peretia knew that it was impossible, there were few cases that operation goes well in the same species but in the end, the person did not survive long enough. And Cerberus claim they manage transfer human to turian body it was just ridiculous. So operation “White” was proposed, Cerberus was looking for someone who could make dextro meals but there were only two species that could provide person to do so, no quarian in their right mind would join Cerberus, but turian, lawless, outcast, someone always on the run from something have chance to do so. For almost the year the operation “White” crate image for Peretia, she changes clan markings, and after some facial operation and scale and hide discoloring she got a new look and was ready to her mission. The only things that could give her away was her scent but on the ship full of humans and one fake turian it was not a problem. So after a few meetings, the contract was signed and you could tell that Cerberus agent was pleased that they manage to convince her. For now, her mission was simple, infiltrate observe and make a report while they dock in main cities. She spotted the 3 people that head towards Afterlife Club the black man white woman and tall close to 2 meters female turian.  They stick out a mile away male and female wore armor with Cerberus emblems all over them, female turian stick out the most, they didn’t even bother to put any clan markings even fake ones on her face and her short crest ended with deep red color. It was rare to have 3 different coloring on turian it happened but rarely. It’s a fun mix, in her eyes, the female is really attractive, and double tone color on her fringe just add demanded feature that males look for but lack of clan markings make her untrustworthy in eyes of many turians. It’s the 1st sign that something is not right, someone like her should have no problem finding a mate or clan that would like to accept her or this body was really created in the lab.  She must find out if female turian is really some unwanted barefaced or really there are some sick experiment behind all this. She decided to observe them for a while before making contact.   

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jane was hit by a new sensation, the Normandy smell so sterile brand new no additional sounds the omega station was so much different. She only hopes that soon all scents and sounds will just become background and she will be able to focus, they meet with Zaeed Massani and of course, there were some strings attached but she has no time for it. She is going to meet Aria one of the most powerful Asari in this region of galaxy she must stay focus, for some reason she has a great interest in the ship and Shepard. For now, Miranda suggests that commander tries to use her first name, not the last one, for now. Before they could get inside the After live there were approached by the couple of turians.

 

 _“What a bare face doing here It’s our street!” –_ one of them starts – “ _Yea get lost before_ …” - Shepard has no time for this– _“And I thought that Omega is run by Aria, I will let her know that you have claim street just under her nose._ **Now back of I have no time for you!”** – Jane ended with **a recognizable** **growl**  

 

They were both stun by her harsh answer but younger one totally forgets what he said a second ago when she noticed her fringe and just spaz _–“Wil you go out with_ **me?** ” With an added nice **purr,** with a hope that he could win her over somehow. 

 

Jane could think of 100 different scenarios of how it could end but this was not on her list, she could clearly hear the **low purr** it have some appealing to it but it makes her angry to the core so she does one thing that seems logical at that moment. She hit turian straight in his right mandible, the unrepaid turian fell right where he stood. – “ I don’t think **so** ” – Jane ended with **a warning growl.**

 

Trying to avoid another incident they leave turians behind to finally face the Queen of Omega Aria T'Loak. Aria knew what Cerberus is. It was surprising that the group was lead by bare face female turian. But this group looks like it was ready to go to war if necessary one looks at armor and weapons and you could tell they mean business.  The Asari hear rumors about some experiment made by Cerberus but she newer pay more attention to it but now the odds were stuck, simple scan show that turian before her have some DNA of Commander Shepard that increased Aria interest so she decides to play bald she lives long enough to easily read female turian.

 

“ _Can’t be too careful with dead Spectres. That could be anyone wearing your skin, Commander Shepard_ ” – Aria welcomes them and looks for the reaction.  

To say that Miranda wash shock would be great misunderstanding, they try to keep a low profile but in 1 hour and all goes to hell, she looks at commander awaiting her reaction.

 

Jane was surprised to say, but she has no time for Aria games all sings show that Archangel could be in trouble trying to keep straight face and her **subvocal** under control she will face Aria.

 

_“If you know who Am I that makes things easy, I didn't come to cause trouble. I know who rules Omega.”_

 

Aria smile, she could hear muffled **subvocal** , yes this will be interesting. She gestures her to sit down.

 _"I am Omega."_ She looked back to Shepard _._

_"But you need more. Everyone needs more something. And they all come to me. I'm the boss, CEO, queen if you're feeling dramatic. Omega has no titled ruler and only one rule. Don't fuck with Aria."_

_"Easy enough to remember."_

 

 _“If you forget, someone will remind you._ " She glanced over at one of her batarian bodyguards, who grinned as he spoke: _"And then I toss your sorry ass out of the nearest airlock."_

 

 _"Ah, well, I'll keep that in mind. I already died once in a similar manner, I don't want to repeat the experience. It isn't pleasant,"_ Shepard said calmly still trying to keep her **subvocal** at bay.

 

That discomfited crowd around them. In fact, it was the first thing Jane said that seemed to make an impression on everyone around them. Aria merely raised her eyebrows looking at female turian, her stake was bold but all signals was stacking now the DNA scan, clumsy attempts to shut her **subvocal** _,_ no standard turian greetings there was only one way it could be possible _and Aria knew which one –“Cerberus is really just bunch of mad scientist”_ Aria said quietly to Jane

_“So how I can help you, My little poor soul, kill them? Help you retake ship so you could become pirate on my command. Just say word sweetheart” –_ Aria asks with added sarcasm in her voice.

 

 _“Sorry but I’m now on an important mission and need best what galaxy have to offer, but when I'm done I know who to ask”_ Jane replied looking at Aria. Shepard considered and decided to go for it. _"I'm trying to track down Archangel."_

 

_"You and half of Omega. You looking to recruit him, or do you want him dead too?"_

 

" _He's someone who could be a great asset to my mission **and more**_ " Jane for one lost control over her **subvocal** just thought of that Archangel was Garrus make her stomach in knots. 

 

" _Interesting. You're going to make a lot of enemies teaming up with Archangel."_ – Aria said knowing that there were more to it, judging by the tone of her voice.  

 

 _"What's a few more?"_ Jane try to keep up in front of Aria

 

Aria gave her a slightly condescending smile. _"That's assuming you can get to him. He's in a bit of trouble right now."_

 

_"So I hear. You don't happen to know where I could find him, do you?"_

 

_"The local merc groups are recruiting anyone with a gun to help them take down Archangel."_

 

_"The local merc groups?"_

 

 _"Blue Suns, Eclipse, and Blood Pack, mostly. It's actually impressive, they never band together unless there's a war,"_ Aria said.

 

 _"All three of them? Well, that's…problematic_." Shepard scowled, genuinely irritated, which seemed to amuse Aria.

 

She jerked a thumb toward the club. _"They're using a private room for recruiting…just over there. I'm sure they'll sign you up."_

 

_"Thanks for the tips."_

 

 _"See if you still feel that way when the mercs figure out you're here to help him."_ Aria looks at turian commander and considers give some advice, after all, if she takes Archangel out of the station is a win for Aria, no group will have the glory of killing him and her status will not change.

 

 _“You need to learn how to control your subvocal dear, any turian in merc group will know your true intention the moment you speak about Archangel, so don’t speak or when you speak try to imagine your worst enemy in place of the Archangel to try to trick your_ **subvocal.** – Aria ended looking at stun turian. 

 

 _“I will keep that in mind I'm also looking for Mordin Solus. Do you know where I can find him?"_ Jane asked.

_"The Salarian doctor? Last I heard he was trying to help plague victims in the quarantine zone. I always like Mordin. He's as likely to heal you as he is to shoot you."_ Said Aria admirably.

 

 _"What can you tell me about him?"_ Austin inquired.

_"Used to be part of the Salarian Special Tasks Group. He's brilliant and dangerous. Just don't get him talking. He never shuts up. If you really need to find him, take a shuttle to the quarantine zone. No guarantee they'll let you in, of course."_ Said Aria.

 

 _"Thanks for the information."_ Said, Jane, as she got up from his seat.

 

Aria chuckled. "You've got all the time in the world. Archangel…not so much."

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peretia waits for some time just outside of After Live, waiting for the group so she finally could say hello if they survive meeting with Aria. Finally, she spotted them moving out to car scraper that transport merc to help gangs hunt Archangel so she moves to meet them so at least she could try to get information about the ship if they not survive.

 

Jane was lost in thoughtful barely notice the female turian from the datapad that supposed to be her personal her cook.  

 

 _“_ **Greetings** _I’m Peretia I’m reporting to fulfill my contract as an additional cook at Normandy who I have to talk to get permission to get on?” -_ She asks hoping that turian female will talk to her, but it seems that she barely notices her 

“ _I, you have clearance to an entrance and make herself ready when we go back Commander will need a great dose of fresh course. Here are outlines of what she will need at least next month.”_ – Miranda said giving her the datapad and signaling others to move, she didn’t like where they going but Jane was determined to save Archangel.

 

_“Commander, we should speak with the Illusive Man. This just got a lot more complicated.”_

Jane shook her head sharply _, “We are not running back any time things don’t go to plan. We need him in our team, you are free to go back to ship if you like but I’m going”_

 

“ _I’m going bring Archangel back_ **with or without your help”**  

Peretia watch exchange between them, it was clear that female turian was determined and no force in the galaxy was going to stop her. She watches as a group get inside the taxi her mission will be like no others.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for all kudos you are great guys!


	7. The Archangel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Archangel you know the drill

The moment Jane get out of sky car she knew it will be hard for her. Lots of mercenary groups lots of aliens, turians, asari, krogan, vorcha, batarians and humans. They move through, trying not to bring too much attention but it was hard. Firstly they look like some kind of military group secondly her bare face drew attention from turians. The second part could be considered funny if her situation wasn’t that bad she knew that clan marks are important in turian society so not having one could be challenging but she didn’t grasp why turian pose change when they look at her fringe.  Jane grew more and more uneasy around them trying to keep her profile low when they move forward. She manages to hack mech, and overhear more information about Archangel. The news only makes her angrier, the elusive vigilante appear to be turian, come to Omega almost year back and try to make something right in this God-forsaken place.  He has some kind of group that with him make serious damage to gangs so they finally team up to kill him. The Blue Suns, Eclipse, and Blood Pack leaders come to finish him off. They talk about him like a kind of trophy and at this point, Jane was more than certain that Archangel was her Garrus. Her blood boil she could hear her heart go crazy her vision become sharpened. She was tense they need to go and go fast. The next group that supposed to go after Archangel was huge and they were all excited. The attack on sniper position last 3rd day, he is getting tired and they all want that reword for his head. Jane was trying to avoid other and calm herself but she bumps her shoulder when trying to take a better position with another mercenary, big male turian with red clan markings and pale white face and scales. He looks at her, his mandible spread a little that could only be described as a turian version of a smile.

 

 _“Watch out there **sister** not only you want to get Archangel you will have to wait for your turn” _the turian sad with added **klick** in his voice his eyes lock on Shepard. Jane hate his look, she hate this situation she never feels so angry in her life.

****

“ _The_ **Archangel** _is mine!”_ – the power of her words makes other turns, those who could her full of rage **subvocal** take step back, this female mean business, the white face turian was bold he steps closer to her, now he want her even more! There was face to face.

 

 _“And what do you plan to do with him? You need the body to prove your kill”_ – he asks.

 

Jane fire up her biotic a little, if her glare could kill turian would be dead, her voice comes cold as ice.

 

“ _There will be nothing left” –_ White turian only now takes two steps back before he could say anything they all hear

_“The hunt is on move, move!!” –_ The batarian give them a signal and the big group starts to fights they way through the bridge. Miranda and Jacob right behind her, they will show Commander how tough they are. Jane glance at turian sniper, she really hopes its Garrus. She takes a deep breath the image of his lost comrades come to her mind and something click inside her, her emotion change she takes control over them her anger it has a purpose now and it will become her greatest weapon.

 

“ _So if I bring you the Archangel will you…” –_ white turian start looking at her for two of them time stop. He saw the look she gives the sniper on top, then her black hide starts to change, it becomes dark blue and with her scale becoming almost white part of her neck looks like a night sky with her white small scales. End of her crest become crimson red. Before he stood **“ Ambulans caelum” **the rarity among turians. She looks at him with hate and fury no one could match. In a single move, she pulls her pistol out and his word becomes empty void.

 

Miranda and Jacob barely register Commander 1st kill but they both follow just behind her, the element of surprise is on their side using biotic attacks from Miranda and grenades from Jacob they wreak havoc among mercenaries.

 

Jane was inside her own mind, aim, shoot another merc down, she enters her battle trance. It was something she learns from fights on Elysium there was no time for sleep so Commander sometimes lets her subconscious fight for her. With that she was able to fight almost non stop to stop Batarians, after that she perfect it, she could enter it to break her limits of body and mind. But It should be used only as a last resort. For Jane, the battle becomes the mix of colors and sounds in one gold in mind to get to Garrus and destroy anything that stands in her way. Then all become silent she wakes up looking at the door that led to Archangel it was the moment of truth.

  

Miranda was shocked by the skills of Commander she watches vids about her ability to fight but see it action and be part of it, it was whole different story somehow they kill all other mercenaries in less than 5 minutes even the elusive sniper join them. She watches as Commander open door that lead to Archangel this will be interesting.   

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Garrus knew that his days would come to an end, he just hopes to take with him as many enemies as he possibly could. But he becomes slower less focus some thugs manage to cross bridge already, but he still held his position. But could feel the cold breath of death on his shoulder, legends say that in your final moment the spirits of closes one come to your aid, to watch your last stand against your enemy. Garrus was never a great believer if the story about ancestors were true they would never let all of this happened. He should be able to see treason of his comrades, the spirits should guide the galaxy to prepare them for upcoming battles with the Reapers, the spirits wouldn’t allow Shepard to die alone in the void. He still remembers her smile, her confidence, her scent, her leadership, her eyes, and beautiful red hair. Garrus tries to convince him that he could be more, that he could become great C-cec, that he could become something more on this lone rock of injustice. But in the end, all goes to hell. He was alone and Omega is going to kill another self-proclaimed hero after almost 3 days without sleep today is the day he will die. He calls his father try to make a joke about  "target practice". But Castis Vakarian understand that Garrus was under heavy fire he listened as his son tried to reconcile with him, and in response he gave combat advice on learning, moving "targets". He advised Garrus that as long as he has at least one bullet left he can still get the job done no matter how bad things are, and beckoned him to come home afterward to sort things out.

 

Garrus look at another group, bigger than the last one he ends the call and starts to look at probably something like 30 mercenary but this one looks much better prepaid he scan an area for easy targets and then his heart stops. In the middle of the group he spotted **“ Ambulans caelum”**  (walking heavens), she looks at him and then her color starts to change from dark to deep blue, her light gray become almost white and end of her fringe become crimson red it was a sight to behold.  Others close to her, especially white face turian were stunned, it all last only a second the female turian pull her guns out and with two humans she starts killing mercs. He put two men down and come behind cover he hear raw of battle below him, his mind was racing it could not be possible, he only knew one person who could fight like that, another shot another kill with the glance over the turian female. Is fatigue pull trick on him, is he already dead and that beautiful turian come to guide him to the afterlife? The sound of cracking bullets and bones put him out of thoughts, no he is alive! He put to work his sniper rifle a gift from Shepard after his last day on the Normandy if this is his last stand he will make it the great one! 

 

He stops holding back the group have surprise on their side but they were in the open one good shot could mean an end, Garrus start too feel a rush of adrenaline, he glances at the movement of female turian she kills with efficiency, grace and furious Garrus saw only once in his life. She and her squad feel like an army compared to the rest her move so fluid, no waste action, full of grace.  Garrus spotted that her ammunition in her heavy pistols ended and with lightning speed, she closes the distance to the merc and with of her Omni-blade end him instantly his falling body provide necessary cover so she could reload one of her heavy pistols. Garrus knew what will happen before it happened,  she uses “Singularity” so Garrus answer with “Concussive Shot” right in the middle of 5 man group that tries to take cover from deadly turianes. There was only one person who fights like that he starts to feel like home again, there was no mistake somehow the female turian fight exactly like Commander Shepard the “Red Elysium Demon” nickname given her by batarians. With last body fall on the bridge, he moves his scope to her face ready to shoot but then the female turian look at him. If Garrus could he would swallow his own tongue! Those green eyes! The same looks Commander give so many opponents now look back at him, over the female turian the face of Jane was cast like the shadow! He felt chills on his neck, body and scales his heart stop for the moment.

 

 **“Impossible”** – he whispers, before doing anything she moves forward to end the remains of attackers inside building. Garrus hear last few shouts and groans and then silent. In less then 5 min over 30 merc die and now he focuses his sight on the door. His heart pounded like crazy he sits on the crate and waits for a door to open.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jane move through the door, room is filled with many crates and used steam pack and the floor is cover with used thermal clips, “how he managed to survive so long” – she thinks closing distance to big turian in blue armor that he still have sniper rifle with him and study her closely while they approach him. Jane only needs one glance at the weapon to recognize her gift to him after defeating Saren.

 

 **“Garrus”** – she said quietly looking directly at him.

 

He looks at female turian her voice full of hope and uncertainty her eyes still focus on him, he was stun but there was no mistake, her posture her aura her walk even her voice and mostly her beautiful green eyes somehow turian before him was Jane Shepard he lowers his weapon and took off his helmet.

**“Shepard** _you, you are alive?”_ – he said looking at her taking few slow steps towards her.   

 

She only needs one glance at his face, Jane doesn’t care about Cerberus or how Garrus recognize her, she comes to him wraps her hands around him and her body emits solid **purr** of happiness. –   ** _“Garrus!_** _It is really you! you have no idea how happy I am.”_

But he knew, he recognizes signature sound coming from her, a sound of happiness and security, he looked into her eyes so happy right now but there are still so many unanswered questions about her

– “ _Shepard... How?”_

She wants to tell him but in that moment bullets start to fly again from the bridge, The Eclipse starts to attack again, they move to cover while gun down any merc they can.  Jane looks at him – “ _I will tell you everything if we manage to get out of here alive. Deal?_

_“You don’t need to ask twice **Shepard”**_ –  Garrus tell her **with his own happy click.**

****

The four of them become unstoppable,  and with an added mech their side the Eclipse and Jaroth have a very bad day. Unfortunately, the situation change now attacks come not only from the bridge but also behind them, Jane leaves Miranda with Garrus taking Jacob with her to deal with troops of Blood Pack, after tense battle finally big Krogan Garm fell to the ground with killing blow from Garrus. The last one was Blue Suns, the toughest group yet probably because they have fucking Gunship and they drop on their heads. The fights were tough but they manage to hold and kill all merc, it looks good for them until Gunship come again and shoot a rocket straight at Garrus.

 

 ** _"Garrus!"_** yelled Shepard. He could feel her arms on him. He could taste medi-gel, he could smell her the same scent, he could hear Shepard's **subvocal** full of anger and sadness then come to another big explosion and finally Gunship goes down. He was happy all mercenary group was dead. But surroundings become blurry to him, he could not focus his right side of face burn, he feels life fading, escaping  – “No not now!’ – He could hear her in the distance.

 

 _"Stay with me Garrus! You're going to be okay. Just stay with me _ ** please don’t leave me alone” **

He was fighting with every ounce of strength he had left he hates the sound that she made with her **subvocal**.

 

But slowly and slowly everything fades to darkness.

 

 _“It’s not your time Garrus Vakarian son of Castis Vakarian the path ahead of you will not be an easy one, in your hands we put the fate of the Galaxy!”_  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for all kudos you are great! Stay tuned for next one!


	8. I won’t let you go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to save Archangel life.

 

Jane look at the med bay door, the red circle did not change for her, she feels weak sick live of her friends is on the line and she can’t do anything more. They manage to get back to ship just in time so the medic team could take care of Garrus, in the meantime, her blue color faded to her normal black state. Commander ignores looks of her crew, she is cover in blue, red green blood remains of her enemy’s and Garrus. Inside Dr. Chakwas and  Miranda of all people try to save turian live.

 

Minutes are slow for her, then she is face to new turian that holds the cup with something warm. Jane can smell sweetness coming from the drink she nods in thanks, drinks actually is a mix of sweet and spicy.

 

“ _Thank you…”_ – Jan start looking at female turian

 

 _“Paretia, Paretia Dexitius I’m your personal cook, we meet  briefly before you go out for your..??”_ – She asks innocently, but she was well aware of who that turian is. The Archangel but what shock her most is his real identity. Garrus from the Clan of Vakarian, one of a better-known family on Palaven what was he doing on Omega playing some kind of sheriff? She will learn all this, but it must be in slow doses.

 

 _“We manage to save one of my old teammate_ **he is…** _” –_ Jane said looking at med bay when the door suddenly open, and Karin steps out the end with fast step she comes to them.

 

 _“Commander we have to manage to stable him but we need more time and your help. Miranda is preparing cybernetic for him and we need your and Ms. Dexitus blood for operation.”_ – Chakwas sad looking at them. – “ _Of course, if you agree”_

Jane look at female turian, she hates it, she hates asking people a favor if they barely know her it almost always backfires.  

 

_“I will do it but you are sure you need blood from both of us? Blood donation should not be performed on someone who is supposed to go to the mission”_

 

Paretia asks calmly, it’s a great opportunity for her to get on good side of commander after all she still is not entirely sure what to think of her and need a commander to open for her. Her fast scout shows that this is a really new version of turian – human vessel The Normandy, but the crew is mostly Cerberus in exception of pilot doctor and what she gathered the engineering team. Why would they fallow fake commander?  

 

“ _For now we will take only your blood, commander need strength for her next assignment”_ – she said looking at Jane.

_“We will need help Jane, he is stable but in critical condition I’m good and with help from Miranda we can save him but another hand will help.”_

_“Mordin Solus”_ – Jane whisper to doctor.

 

“ _We need his help Jane go and bring him”_ Doctor sad and goes back to the med bay.

 

The path is clear but she needs to take Zaeed with her and again she hates it. He is a mystery for her some people follow her because they believe she is commander other because of order, he because someone pays him to do so and you can’t pay for believing. She orders Zaeed and Jacob to gear up and move in next 3 minutes.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

They move to slums part but Jane can sense the bad atmosphere between them she feels Zaeed look at her so she decides to act now.

 

 _“So Zaeed what is that Cerberus promised you in return?”_ – Jane asks still moving forward.

 _“They give me information about a person that I want to kill”_ – Zaeed stated calmly, for him it all was some kind of sick show. Great Commander Shapard in a body of female turian you must be joking. He spotted that she stop and face him – _“So you just want some blood and nothing more? Some longtime grudge or you just do it for fun? ”_ – he feels the chill in her voice     

 

 _“A grudge?”_ he shouts, jabbing a finger at her. _“Vido turned my men against me. He paid six of them to restrain me while he put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. For twenty years, I’ve seen that punk every time I closed my eyes. Every time I sighted down on a target. Every time I heard a gunshot. Don’t you call that a god darned ‘grudge’.”_

 

Jane has a newfound admiration for him she feels that there is more to that story but for now, Zaeed is will be happy if she promises to solve his problem.

 

 _“Then after we take doctor we head straight to his_ **hiding hole** _.” He was so close to her, he could feel her_ **subvocal** he wasn’t sure how to interpret them but for now, he will follow – “Glad you see it my way. Let’s get that doctor and save your friend.” –  Zaeed nods.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Zaeed watch as commander fights, she doesn’t stop for a moment, the warning about a plague that kills turians washes over her like it was just another day she just seals hear armor and uses internal air supply for the mission. He still has his doubt about her but he cannot deny her fight style are really close to that Commander and it’s just great to watch. But even in this shit hole, she manages to show compassion to some batarians, she kills muggers that try to rob some homes and guide to safety pair of lost humans that were too scared to get out something that only Shepard would do. Finally, they reach the clinic and they face to face with the Salarian doctor.

"Professor Mordin Solus?" She asked a tall, one-horned salarian with the lightest completion she'd seen on a salarian Mordin approached her team and did a quick scan with his Omni-tool, presumably for the illness. He scans her one more time then look at the results and once again look at them. He tries to guess who they were and why they were there, speaking rather quickly.

" _Humm.. Don't recognize you from the area. To well-armed to be refugees. No mercenary uniforms from Omega but Cerberus wouldn't let turian lead their team, the fugitives?. Quarantine still in effect._ " – He tries to move for his work when Jane grab him, she was impressed and irritated by his multi-tasking abilities, but Garrus life was on the line and he has little time

_“Whoa, okay! Will you take a breath, would ya? I came here to find and I need your help right now. I'm Commander Shepard and I need your help for a critical mission but first I need your help_ **on turian** _patient we have on board”_ – she ends up with low **whine** coming from her. 

 

Mordin Solus hear many things over his life, but this one rocketed his interest through the roof, he knows that biometric scan was off, now he understood why. He hears rumors, but now the object of that rumor stood before him. But he also has his priorities. He tries to free himself but the turian female has a really strong grip on him.  – _"No. To busy. Clinic understaffed. Plague spreading too fast."_

 

 _“If you have a solution we will deal with it just_ **please** _help me with wounded turian we have”_ – Jane was almost begged him to help her. She could not stand thoughts of dead Garrus.

 

His gaze regarded Shepard for a few seconds he could hear her **subvocal** that beg him for help he knew it is serious – " _I will help you but, must stop plague first. Already have a cure. Need to distribute it at the environmental control center. Vorcha guarding it."_ He glanced over  to the Commander, _"Need to kill them."_ On the heels of his words, the circulation fans quit spinning overhead. The background noise of the engines powering the fans hummed to silence. Dust fell out of the fan directly over Mordin's console. He activated his Omni-tool and began a systems check of the area.

 

 _"What the hell was that?"_ Taylor asked – " _Vorcha have shut down environmental systems. Trying to kill everyone. Need to get power back on before district suffocates. Here, take plague cure. And one more thing, Daniel, one of my assistants. Went into vorcha territory looking for victims. Hasn't come back."_ – " _I'll keep an eye out for him. I'll help him if I can."_ Shepard promised. "Let's head to the environmental plant." She ordered her team and the left.

 

 _“I will move to your ship, from what I hear your patient have little time I will do what I can. I hope you will succeed”_ – He ended up looking at her.

 

Zaeed notice change in Shepard, it was clear that she cares about that turian in many cases people become less focus, out of tune but the situation only sharpens her action. They move faster and faster, time was clicking they need to put that cure and she must donate another douse of blood. They find and rescue Daniel, they have to kill batarians, the was no other way. Jane pushes forward nothing will stop her from deploying this cure.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Mordin was on his way to the Normandy with two addition guard that Miranda send to make sure he will get to them, he was thinking and thinking fast. The only way the female turian could be Commander Shepard was if they use brainwave operation but that could only be achieved inside one species and was risky but between two different? Unheard of! He once again looks at reading he gather and then he understood, they create this body using turian and her human DNA, so it could accept her consciousness but still, many questions remain. He was greeted by the older female doctor and some perfect looking Cerberus operative “probably genetically engineering”. He stops for the moment when entering the med bay, on the operation table lay Archangel with a big wound on his right side more question he will investigate further into this. With the help of human doctor and Miranda, they start to patch up wounded turian.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The deep part of Omega the self-proclaim queen watch over and over the vis from last hours. On second monitor she has a video of the Commander and her many fights against Saren. There is no denying, the Cerberus manage to do impossible ohh she wishes she enters her mind she was so close! It seems that this new Commander follows her old self-footsteps after all she rescue Archangel and with crazy salarian doctor stop the plague two big problems that Aria in one point would have to deal with.   

 

 _“Aria, they start preparing for departure should we stop them?_ ” – Garka asks her.

 

 _“They done they part, my position is now stronger the new gang leaders will have to obey me if they want to stay on Omega and Archangel legends will die out, in time.”_ – Aria sad giving him the signal to leave her alone. She opens her terminal and makes a call – “ _Aria what I can do for you?”_ – Asari on the other end answer almost instantly – “ I send you something, something you and your fellow friend will probably find very interesting.” – Aria said ending the call and sending all footage to her.

 

In the far end of the galaxy Asari study images, her heart stop – “By…by the Goddess!”        

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

For Jane this whole day was a tough one, nonstop fighting, shooting and doing impossible, she welcome hot shower with great relief. Finally, she is able to wash from blood oils and others stains, with her better nose she could smell it better. She feels chills coming over her spine, on her body, there are still parts of Garrus blood and skin. Fortunately, the operation was a success, and Garrus is now stable and save. He should wake up in the next 10 hours Jane is grateful that Chakwas, Mordin, and Miranda that they manage to save him. They show salarian his new the lab center and he was more than happy to start working on ways to stop collectors. She feels tired but she must be certain that her turian is save. For now, their business on Omega is over so she ends her shower dress up in civilian clothing and moves to the cockpit. On her way, she asks Zaeed where Vido is located and he was more than happy to give her full information about the planet and what they could encounter there. It’s time to see how Joker handles things.

 

Joker hears Shepard’s footsteps with the added sound of claws coming from behind him, he knows that Garrus health could have a negative reflection on Commander so he tries to lose the atmosphere – _“Hey Commandeer, we got Garrus back! That's great because he was totally my favorite. With that pole up his ass. The two of you could start playing cricket! ”_ – he partly succeeds because commander smirk a little at him – “Yea, we were lucky”

_“And looks it's our baby, better than new. It fits me like a glove! And leather seats! The military may set the hard were standard, but on a first gen frigate, they could care less if the seat breath. Civilian sector comfort, by design."_ – Joker rambled looking at her

 

 _“Reproduction was not intended, Mr. Moreau. Seamless improvements were made."_ – Edi add.

 

 _"And there's the downside."_ – Joker said –  " _I liked the Normandy when she was beautiful and quiet. Now she's got this thing I don't want to talk about. It's like ship cancer_

 

 _"We have a little choice in that regard it’s still too early to see their true intention so be sharp!"_ – Shepard said.

 

 _"Yeah, I guess you're right."_ – Joker agreed – " _So we're staying right? I mean, the seat is real leather..."_

 

“Glad to see you're keeping it all in perspective." Shepard sigh giving him the nav point for their next assignment, she decides to visit mad bay and stay a little with Garrus when Joker stops her. His look was serious and filled with compassion – _“He will be all right Jane, I know that he is too stubborn to die and he will need your help, he was most devasted after you die”_ – Joker said. A small smile appears on her jaw – “ _Thank **Joker** , move out when we are ready.”_

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

 

 The med bay was mostly quiet for a time to time you hear *bip*, *bip* and sound of sleeping turian Jane look at Garrus. He really has better days, but for now, he looks so peaceful even with his injury. Shepard sit beside him, to be honest, it was 1st time she sees a sleeping turian. She could hear low **_*_ humm* **sound coming from him “Is he snoring? Or it’s just turian thing?” Again the question about turian anatomy start to build up in her head, to be honest, she was scared of his reaction. Yes, he recognizes her but he was under heavy pressure and lots of stim pack and without a sleep now his reaction could be very different. Her attention turned to his Omni-tool that was on the shelf, it indicates that someone tries to contact him, over and over. Is it would be ok if she picks it up? Someone really tries to contact him and low noise becomes annoying for her and of course, Garrus will not be able to pick it up in a long time. She unlocks it took a deep breath and answer it in hope that it will make more good than bad.

 

“ ** _Garrus!!!_** _Are you there what happened… Wait a minute you are not **Garrus!!!”** _ – from the other side the female turian that look similar to Garrus and bearing the same markings answer. She looks at her confused but that quickly faded to an anger and low growl could be heard coming from her –“ _What did you do to my brother you bare face scum! It’s_ **his** _omni-tool you have”_ – Jane didn’t expect that but knew that she will not be a pushover – _“ I’m Commander…” – she thinks for a moment – “Dexitius”_ – for now, this small lie will have to do it – _“ I’ve managed to save_ **Garrus, he was hurt** _and for now he will not be able to answer any calls”_ – The female turian on the other side calmed down a little but still have distrust in her eyes – _“I want to see_ **him”** – Jane move camera to sleeping turian – _“See nothing to fear_ **he** _is in good hands” –_ Jane try to ensure her – “Well thank you, when **Garrus** wakes up tell him to call home” – With that the female turian end it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Solana never in her whole life think that her brother life could end so quickly. But a call from dad some time ago shock her. Garrus call him after a year of absence and going off the grid and all signs show that it will his last call. But she will not give up so easy on him, but after trying contacting him for half a day she almost lost all hope until the bare face turian answer and claim to save him. Solana was confused so after making sure her brother was ok she ends conversion. Now she sees it as a mistake after playing the video over and over again she was sure that female turian on the other side care for her brother in more ways than one! She should press her more, and after quick thinking, her name was probably fake too! She sends video to her father she knew that will help him and maybe they will be able to find more information about the bare face female turian and whereabouts of her brother.   

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jane was surprised how fast the conversation ended, is all turian family like that or just Garrus? She sighs and looks at him her situation come back at her once more, she is nothing without Cerberus just bare face turian that others will no trust, no military career no family to talk, no one. She looks at Garrus and decided to stay a little longer she took his hand and squeeze it a little – “Common **Garrus I need your guides”.**  Her touch and voice make difference in Garrus and you could hear low * **purr*** coming from him, *Its nice sound* with that she starts to feel heavy and soon sleep take over her too.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for all support.


	9. A third time's a charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here another one. The one you all wait for the long hope you will enjoy.

 

_“It’s not your time Garrus Vakarian son of Castis Vakarian the path ahead of you will not be an easy one, in your hands we put the fate of the Galaxy!”_

Sometimes life gives you a lemon and sometimes life give you a rocket to the face for Garrus it was the second one. The power of strange voices still echoes in his head his skull feel like could break in any second. Finally, he manages to calm himself and tries to grasp his surrounding, he knew that he was alive. Garrus try to focus to remember what happened memories of mercenary gangs closing on him shows up, the rocket to the face, the beautiful female turian that come to his aid in his last moments she claims to be Shepard, it was too good to be true. He remembers her small talk, the way she fights her smell and her green eyes. He must wake up no matter how it all turns out.

 

Slowly but slowly he open eyes, at first all is blurry slowly his eyesight become better and better, he was inside what to be appear the medic center of some sort, but I could not be omega to clean. On his right side he spotted the medical equipment that shows his vitals, so yea he was alive. He feels heavy on his left side and could not feel his left hand Garrus was ready for the worst, he turns to see what damage he took but his heart stops for the moment. The cause of his numbness was the same female that comes to his aid. She was sleeping on his hand and partly on his stomach, Garrus was stun. So it wasn’t a dream, he began to look closer at the female, some part of fight were blurry almost dreamlike, for him she was beautiful in all right places, her fringe not too long and he really like how they ended with nice red colour,  but then small detail catch his eye part of her neck was blue, he looks closer but there was no mistake! The questions were accumulating but he wishes he could free his hand so blood could start flow to it. After few unlucky attempts, he realizes there is no other way than waking her up. Garrus is still not sure how to approach it the female turian sleep so peaceful he hear low * **purr** * coming from her, but the suspense is killing him. There is no denying he wishes that she is his old Commander sooner or later they will have to talk and unfortunately for her, he still needs that left hand –“ _Commander?” –_ he starts slowly but with no reaction from her _–“Commander”_ – the female turian seems unfazed by his tries she only murmured something. Garrus hate it but there is no other way – “ **Jane Shepard _wake up!_** ” – he sad with additional tones coming from his **subvocal** she will feel it now.

 

Jane was having a great sleep, nothing could stop it, she feels safe secure and an additional source of heat help greatly with that! But something was buzzing in the distance –“ _go away”_ – she tries, but then much stronger voice almost commending one broke her instantly from the sleep. With low * **yep** * Jane moves in lighting speed to sitting position still confused about what just happened, looking around Commander realize that she was still the med bay and now face to face with a wake-up Garrus!

 

You could cut the air with the knife, both turians look at each other, studying, hearing, smelling for the record his smell was really good like fresh cut metal Jane thought, but they both were afraid to make a move, or ask the right question.

 

Jane hates that, she realizes that she falls asleep and Garrus probably start to feel it and become uncomfortable so he wakes her up to get rid of some bare face turian from his bed. She still wasn’t sure how much he remembered from the fight and judging from all adrenaline pack he took, for him it all could be a dream and now he is confused.

 

Garrus knew that he must to do something, he still has questions about the details but he was certain that he must help her any way possible. The memory of their last fight come to him and he is now certain that Shepard somehow becomes female turian, how is irrelevant now he will learn that in time, for now, he thinks how to broke the ice, still thinking she tries to get up.

 

“ _I’m sorry I… I just come to see how you do and…_ **I should go…”** – her **subvocal** full of lost hopes, Garrus hate that look and sound she makes and wishes to never witness that again. He grabs her hand and stops her escape. She looks at him, his eyes asking her to stay, her heart misses a bit, he will not let her face danger alone again he won’t let her down!   

 

 _“_ **Please Shepard, stay with me, tell me what happened”** – he begs her looking at her green eyes.

 

“ **I…, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable”** – she knew **subvocal** been used but have no idea what they mean she only wishes that she will not screw this up Jane wouldn’t stand his rejection.

 

“ **You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes.... but never uncomfortable.”** – he answers her with added ** *purr***  that should reassure her, her tone change he hears a hint of hope in them.

 

„ **How? How did you know it’s me?** ” – she asks him still ready to flee but his strong grip and **subvocal** hold her in place. 

 

“ **Are you joking Shepard? No one fights like that, and your stare still could kill a krogan I just got lucky” ** – He answers - Garrus spot a little smile forming on her and change in her color to more prominent dark blue. Garrus knew that using * **purring sound** * in such series conversation would be inappropriate but now he must make sure to calm her down. He will listen as long as it needed, so her change in mood, voice, and attitude was a good sign. He looks at her one more time – “ **Just sit down and tell me what happened** ” – Jane hesitated for a moment but his voice and gaze they calmed her down and either way, they would have that kind of conversation sooner or later.  So she sits down by his side and makes herself comfy it will be a long story.

 

Garrus listen to her, it’s sound like crazy Blasto movie, but soon it becomes clear to him that it a dark one. Secret pro-human organization playing God, defy the nature of science, crazy Avatar project, and sick scientist. He is worried, Shepard is still in great danger from this new body and others who will try to exploit It if she will not learn how to control. The Cerberus bring her back so she could help them with the missing colony. But she knew that it will be hard so that’s why there were after Archangel and others individuals.

 

“ _From the start, I have some feeling that Archangel could be you._ _That's why I'm glad I manage to save you and that you're here, **Garrus**. If I'm walking into hell, I want someone I trust at my side. And I need your help on something else _ ” – she adds with a little embarrassment in her voice

 

“ _Anything for you_ **Shepard** “ – he said looking at her and then added with light tone – “And for the record, you realize this plan has me walking into hell, too. Hah. Just like old times.”

 

But one part of her story is missing how they manage to create **“Ambulans caelum”** , turian science still could not replicate what nature could do, he looks at her and observes that the blue pigment almost all by faded away. Shepard seems calm and have a steady breath and look. But there is more to it and Garrus have a bad feeling about it.

 

“ _Yea like olds time but now I’m female turian with no clan markings so even my_ “ – she * **gulp** * loudly – “ _my own kind don’t trust me… I feel like a leper, like…_ ”

 

 **“No! Sheppard, you are rare, uncommon…”** – Garrus starts looking at her but the result is different then he hopes, she looks down small whine coming from her.

 

 _“Yea I know that there are not many bare faces walking around, it’s no big deal really **I…** ” _ Jane tries to convince him that it’s no big deal for her but again her **subvocal** betray her and it’s too much for her she knows that facial marks are important to turians but to be judged by lack of it? Every turian does that to hear even his own sister but that she could oversee because she picks up call that was meant for Garrus and she was worried for him.  She is close to losing it again but then she felt his hands on her mandible and Garrus drew her to him when they were almost touching each other noses, her eyes were glossy his full of sympathy.

 

“ **You are a Holy Grail among us turians Jane. You are * _Ambulans caelum*_ the walking sky” **– Garrus put all his emotion to it to make sure she would understand.

 

 _“_ **What, what does mean?** ” _–_ she whispers Jane feel power and emotion emitted from him she feels safer like someone tried to calm her down.

****

“ **Your body is special Jane, the * _Ambulans caelum*_ **_it’s a relic word from an ancient time. It describes an individual that can partly change color through emotions. It's happened so rarely that today only around 1 000 know turians exit.  When your black neck becomes dark blue and your scales whitening, you resemble night sky from Palaven. You become a marvel to watch”_ – he ended up still holding her close to him.

 

“ **Garrus I, I…** ” – She was a little shock but that would explain others turian don’t know exactly how to approach her! On the one side, she was the bare face and on the other the walking gem in turian culture!

 

 _“Don’t let others say otherwise! Do not worry that you have no markings,_ **you** _didn’t choose that,_ **you** _are too stubborn to let that stop_ **you** _, and for me, it doesn’t matter!_ **Your** _spirit is all that matter for me! No matter the body they give you, we will show them how to save galaxy one more time!_ **Together!** ” __

 

Jane was overwhelmed by positive emotions that’s emitted from him she wanted to kiss him for all good words and support he gave her so far, but turian don’t have lips so she does one logical thing. Moving forward and closing her eyes she let her forehead touch his and before she knew it her body start to ***purr***. Jane doesn’t care she was happy now. For a long time, she feels secure and has hope that her days could become easier and better with the help from Garrus, so she let herself be lost in the moment. Garrus was stunned, to say the least, before he could comment or do anything about the situation his body responds with its own happy ***purr*** he also feels relive and hope, something that he misses from the past 2 years so one moment of happiness wouldn’t hurt right?

 

He was still living a moment when other aspects catch his attention, he smells something, something like a sweet flower from Palaven. If he won’t do something it could turn out really bad after all Shepard did not understand the meaning of this act. He would be happy to teach her but only when she will have a clear mind and could make a decision on her own.

 

Fortunately for him, his own body comes to ‘rescue’ and in the mostly quiet med bay, the sound of * **purring** * turians was disrupted by the sudden noise coming from Garrus stomach. Jane awakened from her trance and back a little looking at him.

 

“ **Garrus?** _when was last time you have a proper meal?”_

_“It would be like four days ago?”_ – He answers ashamed a little by his loss of control in front of her at least their physical contact ended without an accident.

 

“ _I will get you something to eat then”_ – she proposed.

 

“ _No I'm feeling better really, we could eat together if you like, you could show me the ship…_ ” – he starts trying to get up only stopping in mid senate. Only now he realized that he was mostly bare under the bedsheet and unfortunately turians underclothes did not leave to much room for imagination. Garrus wishes that he could just melt it all goes so well for him and now all was lost.

 

Shepard has only a split second to realize what was happening, unfortunately, before she could turn her head she saw most of Garrus bare torso and some of his lower parts. At least he still has his lower underclothes on him but why there were so tight!!! She could feel that her blood start to boil and her neck was probably turning blue again –“ _Oh look there_ **Garrus,** _Karin let you some new clothes over there, so be ready in 10 in the mess I will get us some food”_ – she said quickly moving out of med bed leaving him alone and closing door behind her.

 

They both took a deep breath of relief hoping that this small accident will not ruin their friendship.  

 

Jane tries to calm herself but still, the memory lingers inside her head, for some reason she still can sense metallic smell around her. She closes her eyes and starts to count from 10 to 1 to at least get herself to some sense. He hears movement in front of her so she opens her eyes to see who was it and she is face to face with Paretia that hold a trays with food and look at her stunned. 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Paretia Dexitius have a hard time grasping what happen for the past few days, all signs show that Cerberus manage to transform commander consciousness to the turian body and somehow she still survived that process. Not only that but in last 24 hours on Omega, she manages to save Archangel from all the major merc of Omega kill their leaders cure the plague and convince the Salarian doctor to join her crew all in one go. She still was wondering what kind of person she really is, but now Paretia could have a rare opportunity to investigate more to why the son of great C-cec doing here and maybe learn more about Commander. Making little breakfast for him and with the simple plan, she moves to the med bay. What surprised her was Shepard that steps out from it. She looks closer at her, she could swear that the Commander has black hide, not the blue one, but then it hit her like a ton of brick. Commander is *** _Ambulans caelum*_**! Years of training, discipline goes out of the airlock in the single moment, she barely control her **subvocal** to stay quiet she tries to calm herself but the first wave of shock was replaced by another, Shepard has some trace of Garrus scent on her! She has little time to think of her next move when the commander finally spots her.

 

“ _Oh hello Paretia..”_ – she starts, stroking her neck – “ _We plan to eat some breakfast_ **together** _could you prepare something for me and_ **Garrus** _? He just ends up dressing up”_

The two turians look at each other, the words still linger in the air. Jane wants to melt through the floor only now the meaning of her word catch up with her. Knowing well that there is no good escape from this situation she spotted trays with food –“ _Ohh great you done one portion for me just make another for_ **Garrus** ” – with that she quickly grab trays from Paretia hands and move to the mess hall leaving her stunned.    

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Garrus is trying to calm himself, the last few days were one of his worst but now all look promising to consider what happened to Commander. He still has a question but for now, he must focus on helping her out on the mission and in another aspect.  He took his omni tool and spotted that he got many missed calls from father and sister, they probably think he is dead and he feels terrible about it. He notices that calls ended after one that was answered! He looks at the log and discovers that it was Commander who answer it, it hurt him how Solana treated her but he understood why he will make a call when there are no wiretaps all over the walls to try to calm them down. He takes a deep breath it’s time to eat breakfast with the commander he hopes that military ration become better than the last one and their little accident will not scare her. With that in mind, he moves out.     

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all support, you guys are great.


	10. Calm before the storm

 

Garrus move out from the med bed dress in fairly well match turian clothing, he couldn’t find his armor so, for now, it should be enough. Fortunately for him, the mess and the kitchen area was right outside the med bay and he has no problem spotting a Commander sitting and still waiting for him. With little hope for a great turian meal, he moves to sit next to her.  What was his surprise when he received a great turian breakfast with nice could juice. He looks at the commander plate, she got almost exactly the same treatment as he but with more meat probably because her body still needs to regain her muscle strength. He was confused, he knew that there was some crew from old Normandy some alliance soldier but to heave perfectly fine and well-done turian breakfast is something he least expected on the Cerberus ship.

 

“ _So Shepard how is possible that turian food looks better than a human one?”_  - he asks while consuming the big meat steak that tastes really close to home.

 

“ _You are not the only turian on this ship you know”_

 

 _“So what? You learn how to cook?” –_ he said with a little smirk.

_“No, actually the Cerberus manage to convince one turian to be my personal cook and one more dextro portion for you will make no difference for her so you are lucky this time”_ – Garrus was surprised what kind of turian would like to work for an only pro-human organization like Cerberus?. He looks around and spotted another turian he recognizes the clan markings but that only raises more question then answers. Paretia decided to sit down and greet them, knowing full well that good relation with the commander is her ticket to information she needs – “ **Paretia, Paretia Dexitius”** –  she said bowing with a standard turian greeting to them, but only Garrus respond to that.

_“You have much to thank her Garrus she and I lend blood for your operation” –_ Jane said looking at him.

Garrus fell a little uncomfortable with knowledge, he was not sure if Shepard knew but in turian culture, he owns his life to them so in return they could ask him anything more or less and he should oblige. He will have to talk about it with commander then they have more private time – “ _Nice to meet you, and what you’re doing here?”_

 

“ _I’m the personal cook for Commander Shepard and because_ **she cares for you** _, now also yours.”_ He returns the welcome and looks at her closely

 

“ _Why would you choose to leave your home and go out with the well-known only human organization on some kind suicide mission? –_ He asks still inspecting her. 

 

“ _And why would a son of well know C-cec detective, decides to play sheriff on Omega?”._ His look tense and low **growl** could be heard, she knew that she hit the nerve but she knew that he can't retreat.

 

_“I got fed up with all the_ ** bureaucratic ** _crap on the Citadel. Figured I could do more good on my own.”_

_“From what I gather you did a really good job_ **Garrus** _on Omega so what happened?”_ – Jane asks him, pulling his attention away from Paretia who was now sitting and watching the exchange between them she clearly hears a little pride and compassion in the commander's voice. Her plan works great, commander cares less for her but for Vakarian, well that is a different story, she will play it to her advantage. 

 

Garrus was in the tight spot, he was bound by good food his own hunger and commander gaze that seek an answer. Knowing her she was probably already thinking about how she could help him. But Garrus didn’t like the idea of sharing everything in front of everyone especially Cerberus, not only that but he has weird feelings about Paretia, she manages to easy change subject and use Commander to her advantage and still was a mystery to him –“ _I will tell you all_ **Shepard** _just give me time to settle in and in the meantime I see what I can do at the forward batteries.”_ – Garrus said hoping that for now it will end the conversation about him – “ _Ok just be ready you are in the next ground team, we are going  to Zorya and liberate an Eldfell-Ashland refinery from the Blue Suns more or less._ ” – Jane said knowing that she will learn all from him in time.  

 

At that moment Jacob comes to the mess he takes his tray of food and welcomes them _\- "Tough son of a bitch, Didn't think he'd be up yet.”_ – he sad to Garrus then his attention switches to the Commander – “ _there was a little change of plan. Before we go to Zorya Miranda proposed to visit Purgatory it’s on the way so we will save some fuel and time”_ – he ended and giving her a dossier.

 

She looks at it with interest and disgusts the Purgatory is a maximum security prison starship owned and run by the Blue Suns. She didn’t like the idea of another space full of turian. But it all makes sense they could reach Purgatory in the next few hours without changing course.

_“What do you think about it Garrus?”_

_“Well if all goes smoothly then we just hop in and hop out but…” –_ he starts looking at her _–“…it’s not a simple prison. They keep tight control over the population. Each prisoner’s cell is a self-contained, modular unit. From what I heard they blown a few out the airlock as an example. They house thousands of criminals so they use violence to keep an order. Additionally, each prisoner brings in a fee from his homeworld. That’s how they run that place. So expect trouble_ **Shepard** _”_ – Garrus ended.

_“Well that’s just great, let’s prepare so much as we can Miranda will come with us. After all, Cerberus pay for it. Garrus met me at the armory there some things we need to discuss”_ \- Jane said ending her breakfast.

 

Garrus was left with others to socialize, Jacob looks like straight soldiers just with Cerberus badge it was a good sign others were as much polite as Cerberus agent could get. He ends his meal and uses his time to become familiar with the ship and its layout but for now, he avoids the front of the Normandy after all his parting with Joker wasn’t the smooth one. In the armory was the only commander that look at his broken armor so he comes close to her –“Commander you want to talk with me? And you know that for some reason nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?"

 

Inside her Jane one more time feel the impact of her situation not only that but Garrus armor bring bad memories not only that from Omega but also that form Elysium and others when her soldiers die. She was happy that they manage to save him but at the same time something else awake inside her, something new and familiar exiting and scary at the same time. She needs more time to think about it but for now, all she could do is to help fix his armor and talk to him face to face. Hearing him entrance and crack a joke she try one of her own

 

_“Hell,_ ** Garrus ** _, you were always_ ** ugly ** _. Slap some face-paint on there, and no one will even notice.”_

_"Ha-ah! Don't make me laugh, damn it. My face is barely holding together as it is._ _Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are krogan....”_ – he hears it in her voice, a nice tone a joking one.

_“Yea Garrus it looks like some things just need simple talk face to face. Don’t you agree?”_ – She started looking at him – _“Yea, you are right, so what you want to discuss?”_ – “ _For now let's fix your armor I will not let you go on the mission with that big hole”_ – She ended up pointing at it.

 

Together they start to fix it, slowly but slowly they exchange small talk, she shares more details about her escape from the Cerberus facility and her problems with the body. Garrus was surprised that she speaks really well Palaveni it makes it much easier to communicate between them. Then come his part to return the favor –  “ _So_ **Garrus** _what happened after I die. Joker story was vague in most part, one thing that was true that you left shortly after the news and Posthumous ceremony”_

 

“ _I… I didn’t take kindly your death_ **Shepard,** _The council and Alliance just didn’t care they didn’t even bother to recover your body. Udina gets what he needs a human in council, and council didn’t want to change or do anything about the Reapers because they fear the mass panic. Only Anderson want to something do but he is just one man. There was more red tape than before, walls upon the walls. And in one moment lost control I…”_ He looks at her not knowing how she will react – _“ I almost broke_ **Joker's** _neck… Wrex was the one who stops me”_    

 

 _“Why would_ **you** _do something like that?”_ – she asks with a low ***growl*** coming from her. She would find hard to believe that he could lose his composure.

 

 _“Anderson called me to his office before any information about attack goes public. He told me what happened to the ship and that some of the crew manage to survive but some were lost. I was looking for you hoping that you survived when it hit me when I saw Joker's face.”_  He took another breath – “ _You give me purpose_ **Shepard** _, you show me the way. You were a 1 st human spectre, but you didn’t fall to the corruption like others did. For me, you were more than just commander, _**you** _…”_ – he looks at her –   _”…_ **you** _were descent to lead us to guide us in this difficult times. But then you were gone. And for one brief moment, I lost control. I pick him up ready to kill him because of him you were gone, but before I knew it I was pinned down to the ground by Wrex with his shotgun pointed to my head. He said that you wouldn’t want us to kill each other, that you wouldn’t want that your sacrifice goes to waste. So I try_ **Shepard.** _I go_ _back to C-cec but after constant red tape and denying from the Council and Alliance I did not see any way to prepare us. So I left to omega to try to do something but in the end, I fail that too.”_ He ended looking at her.

 

“ _But you have a team, from stories from people of Omega_ **you** _really did a good job even Aria hold  some respect, so  what happened?”_

_“It was my own damn fault. One of my people betrayed me. A turian named_ **Sidonus** _. He drew me away just before the merc attacked my squad and then he disappeared. Everyone except me is dead because of him. And because I didn't see it coming._ _I lost my whole team, except for_ **Sidonis** _. One day I will find him ..._ **and correct that** _”_ – Jane for the 1st time hear something so different from him a new kind tone, full of ice and hate murderous intention, she could swear that she hear something like that in the past but could put a finger on it.  The air becomes heavy so she decides to change the subject, she didn’t want to make him uncolorable again.

 

_“I’m sorry Garrus. It’s sound that you have a hard time, but now were are together so we can cover each other back, just promise me that you will talk about it with Joker, after all, we need each other. Let’s end fixing your armor and you could teach me all about different parts and how to mod mine. Somehow I knew how to put my own armor but moving it or changing it’s a different story”_

Garrus nod in agreement the subject change was welcome and after all he never really apologies Joker for his outburst, in no time they both return to his armor, well mostly he was, she mostly watch, learn and ask a question and help as much as she could. Garrus, for now, focus on passing knowledge to her so she could modify her own armor and weapon without his help, he knew that she like being independent. They talk more about the Purgatory and what they could encounter there but one thing didn’t play well with Jane – _“You know Garrus, because I’m. “_ – she try but have difficulties spelling it – *** _Ambulans caelum*_** \- he helps her – “Yea thanks, _it could be a problem, right? It’s another place full of turians.”_   

 

 _“You are an… How to put it, an_ **interesting mix** _, you have no clan but you are a gem amongst us so there will be mix reaction when your neck will start to change colors for now trying control flow of your breathing to minimize the effect. I will try to observe when your change occurs and try to find a way to help you learn to control it but it could be your weapon, you know. If you have more control over it you could use it as an…._ **distraction** _?” –_ Garrus says carefully watching her reaction. “ _It works on that white turian on the bridge”_

 

 _“Well, I react that because I was almost sure that_ **Archangel was you** _and he was caught by surprise because he was trying to… I don’t know, seduce me earlier, you know your head for a good night?” –  Sh_ e answers while holding another mod to patch his armor, she hears suppressed * **whine*** coming from him – _”Turian_ **sub vocal** _still have no meaning to me. That’s is something I have to learn first and fast.”_ She ended looking at Garrus wondering if he was a little jealous but for now she just wants to learn the basic.

Garrus feel a rush from in his blood, for him and any other turian **sub vocals** are something normal standard, it represents hidden emotion and signals that cannot be described in turian words or just it’s just better to use **sub vocals** in a specific part. He takes a deep breath he will try to explain it to her as best as he can

 

“ _For turians, our_ **sub vocals** _are like eyebrows and other facial muscles in human that help them within expressing emotions. But there is the key difference between them, most Turian can’t fake_ **sub vocals** _its related of what we feel how we feel, what we think about something or someone, in short, it’s almost like a lie detector. Most our speech is mostly words but emotions come with_ **subvocal** so it’s really hard to fake them. _Some learn to control them but it requires years of training and in the and you could still recognize it in their speech pattern if a person is not skilled enough or lose control over it._

_“So how I could learn to read them?”_

_“Mostly when turians that don’t know each other, speak mostly in shorts sentence. They come straight to the point, and for the most part_ ** sub vocals ** _stay mostly quiet, and when something comes that need emotion they awake smoothly without stop and then fall smoothly. When individuals know each other and there is trust between them the sentence becomes longer and more elaborate but still, the pattern remains.”_

_“Just like your small talk in the med bay”_

_“Well… more or less, when some try to cheat on_ ** sub vocals ** _he or she will try to disperse your attention to other things so you miss the small shift in voice. In summary, it’s like a bird sing, you will always hear_ ** sub vocals ** _been used, more ‘accent’ will be put on parts that require emotions but in the end, there should be no pause or a dramatic shift in tones. If you hear some dramatic shift but words don’t support it then you know something is going on. That’s basic, the difficult part is learning to use_ ** sub vocals ** _as a part of the second language. It’s mostly_ ** *click* *chirp* *humn* *pee* ** _and others do say simple phrases, but that’s is used only in combat and others stuff, so for now just try to focus understanding what you hear.”_

Jane nodded in agreement, she proposes some practice talk but it goes with mixt result probably because Garrus wasn’t good in imitating different situation and really wasn’t good at controlling his own **sub vocals** so they just stick to small talk about armor and weapons and topic that they were both familiar with. After some time his armor fully repaired and with some upgrade form the ship armory it got a new look with great polish to it and some added neon to distract enemies so now even if someone knew how Archangel armor looks like he would not recognize it.

 

They both look at their work for Garrus it was a long time since the upgrades it for Jane, it was a relive knowing that he will be saver wearing it. Going around and shooting things with his old armor with a big hole was not something she wishes Garrus was doing. There was one more thing to do, equip it and see if it need some more calibration to it. Jane turn around to give him some privacy but on the far wall she spotted his reflection while he gears up, fortunately, he was wearing his under armor but still, his scales and figure were clearly distinguishable she tries hard not to watch him but there was something about him that still drew her attention to him.  She feels little dirty and kind of childishly about it, scanning his friend like that ‘come on Jane you are not a horny teenager!!!’ she thought. She feels that her blood start to run a little faster than before what’s with that damn body!? She closes her eyes and took a few short breaths to calm herself.  

 

Garrus ended his inspection folding last part of his armor – “ _It will be hard_ **Shepard** _to read all little nuances in turian speech and even harder to use it on your own but you will learn it in time, for now, let’s just open personal channel so I can help you with decryption when needed it or if you have any question.”_

_“That’s a deal, Well since we are already in the armory I’ll gear up to see what they up to with the ‘strongest human biotic’”_ She said starting undress herself to her under armor ‘what are you doing Jane he is still in the armory!’ but all were in motion and again she feels something awake in her. Jane knew about the mirror and was certain that Garrus spotted it but is he using it just like she did?

 

Garrus finds himself in the same situation she was just a moment ago, trying not to look at her he to spotted her reflection on the far wall. ‘what are you doing Garrus, just make an excuse and leave the armory before things turn ugly, she is your commanding officer and your friend, but spirits look at…’ he looks at his own reflection, only now realizing how bad his face is. He remembers that Jane uses her own blood to save him he feels really bad for peeking at her like that. He has no right to do so he only uses her weaker state to his advantage just like in the med bed.  He starts to move out of the armor when he hears a small whine behind him – “ ***grrr*** _I’m stuck_ ” – he carefully turns around and spotted that Jane was struggling with a cowl, he turn around and help her with the last piece hoping that she didn’t notice his anxiety.

 

She smiles at him or at least tries for him it was good to sing, but inside both of them were uncertain how the other one feels and they were both eaten from the inside because of guilt.

 

_“Well thanks,_ ** Garrus  ** _this last part always is the pain in the ass, let's just hope that our little prison break will be smooth”_

_“Yea… Let’s hope so……”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the little delay in exchange I give you longer chapter next one at the end of the weekend. As always I hope you enjoy. Thanks for all support


	11. Subject Zero

The moment Jane steps into the Purgatory she knew that something was wrong so she didn’t allow to leave their weapons to guards – _“it’s principle that saves me many times Miranda”_. The turian that run the facility try to challenge her on staring contest but Jane still could make her Commander face even if currently that face was a turian so he back of – “ _Our facility is more than secure enough to handle two armored guests and secretary”_ – he ended up ignored Miranda without respect. They let it pass, after all, they are for a prisoner and plan was to get in and get out fast as possible so they go along with him for a little tour. The way Warden Kuril speak to her just scream ‘ **scam’** his look was nasty, like she was some kind of trophy or some kind of meat that he could sell, not mentioning that he didn’t flinch when she introduced herself like he was expecting nothing less than a female turian. He talks about purgatory like some kind of good favor for the galaxy, the **“necessary evil”** as he calls it. She hears it in his **sub vocals** that he is proud of this place his creation that makes her sick and makes her blood boil, she remembers about basic breathing training she done with Garrus and that help a little. The only time the Warden Kuril speak truthfully was when he described the “Jack” or “Subject Zero”

 

“ _Cerberus hasn't told you? –_ He starts looking at her – _“Jack is the meanest handful of violence and hates I've ever encountered. Dangerous, crazy, and very powerful.”_ – he said stopping a for just a moment, and Jane could hear the low shift in his **sub vocals** – _“_ **You'll see** _soon enough” –_ Jane was wondering what he was thinking about her, did he knew about her origins, or think so little about her or he just didn’t care his look change so rapidly that Jane have problem to figure him out. Well, she will learn soon enough what are his true intentions.

 

 _“I'm going to confirm that the funds from Cerberus cleared. Out-processing is straight down this hallway. Just keep going past the interrogation rooms and the supermax wing.”_ – he ended looking at her closely last time.

 

Shepard took a deep breath finally she could somehow relax even if just a little – _“So Garrus, Miranda expect something in the next 10 minutes or so.”_

**_“_** _Are you sure commander so far nothing seems off expect the racist turian but that was kind of expected”_ – Miranda start the following commander.

 

 _“Shepard is right something is fishy”_ – Garrus said, also adding _”Nice job_ **Sheppard reading that bastard** ” – in their little privet channel. On the way to exchange point, Jane was able to convince the guard to stop brutal ‘interrogation’ if you even could call that. It was pointless beating and even if inside Jane didn’t know the whole story behind it she knew that something like that will left an impact not only on the victim but also on the oppressor. From another prisoner, she learns more things about prison, prisoners, and Jack over all. What she hears and see confirms what Garrus said about this place, this ship is more species slavery center than an actual prison.

 

All their trouble start when they enter the last room when supposed “Jack” should await them, the room was odd empty neglected almost and with only one technician that didn’t have a weapon you just could feel something in the air.  It all becomes clear after a moment, the cell door open and it  was empty and Jane could hear the footsteps behind them and  Warden Kuril speak to them through the microphone

  _“You all are more valuable as prisoners than customers._ _Drop your weapons and proceed into this open cell._ **You** _will not be harmed”_ – Shepard doubts that it would be the case she turns around ready herself and moment later all hell breaks loose.

  

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Warden Kuril did not expect that rumors could be any true, that great Commander Shepard is now in the body of the turian? Even when the Cerberus team come to his ship he was skeptical, the bare face turian that introduced herself as Shepard meant nothing to him, her companions, on the other hand, tells a different story of. There was no denying that turian with blue markings is Garrus Vakarian many would pay gladly for his head and that human Miranda Lawson is the right hand of Illusive man the ‘perfect woman’ anyone would like to have. He was hoping that a sheer number of his troops would be enough to capture them mostly intact but the power and destruction he watches was immense. Wherever they go there was only destruction and death. He studies female turian and could not believe his eyes. The female turian fight almost exactly like Commander Shepard from the vids, there was no denying in that! Before he could think of his next move the whole station shook, and now all alarms go ON they have release ‘Jack’. There was no time he headed the choke point to try cut of Shepard and her squad in hopes that with his barrier technology and support he still will be able to take them down and capture them.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

They have been pin down by heavy fire, they manage to take down most merc and free Jack from her cell, the young woman cover in tattoos with really strong biotic powers. She frees herself and causes more trouble and needed diversion but now they need to catch up with her. Under heavy fire and lots of stress, she lost control over her breath and now part of her neck and face start to show the blue again. For her, it didn’t matter it even help a little because that catch some turian by surprise. They were close to exit and Normandy but they must pass the last obstacle in form of them was Warden Kuril in his shield construct and rest of his army. They manage to do some damage to him and his barrier but this things just didn’t want to die off.

 

Kuril was in a tight spot. Most of his men were dead or wounded his station was in pieces and Jack and others prisoners go rampage. He should take easy money, he never would think that 3 man squad could do so much damage, but it all makes sense to him, not only that female turian was indeed the legendary Shepard but Vakarian was a supposed dead Archangel and that Cerberus agent was strong biotic, his only way of winning it was by provoking some mistake on their part _– “You're valuable,_ **Shepard** _. I could’ve sold you and lived like a king! –_ he watches them closely for some reaction his barrier is holding for now – _"Not happening! You're a two-bit slave trader and I don't have time for it.”_ – she said the barrier was weaker now, they need only a few moments when the three of them combine could destroy his shield in one combine attack so she plays along with his talk. He still looks closely at them with his sniper he notices a change in her skin color change he understands it and his path to victory is open.

 

 _“Or maybe I will capture you and mark you as_ **mine** _Shepard we could make a great…”_ – he tries one last time to distract them but they didn’t give him have time to end his sentence on Jane mark their combine attack broke his shields and before he could do anything he was hit by the bullet right in his neck. Jane was surprised at the speed that Garrus show was incredible but something else catches her attention an steady ***growl*** coming from him. They finish off the rest of his forces and see what happened to him. He was bleeding out, he looks at her and coughed – “ _I done the hard things civil governments are unwilling to! This was for the good of the galaxy. As for you_ **Shepard** _, do not think that you will be ever accepted!”_ – it was his last sentence, but the way he spoke it make Jane wonder. This whole situation was strange he uses his **sub vocals** and Shepard didn’t grasp it’s meaning additionally she still could hear Garrus one and have no clue what they mean. Her answer will have to wait they move forward and finally manage to catch up with Jack, with the last few shots last of the guard went down and now they were face to face without any distraction.

 

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

Jack was in a tight spot, well more like from one shit hole to the next. She knew that the mysterious team has free her but she has no idea why and what they want to do with her. Her recent discovery makes her so much angry the origins of the mysterious team become clear to her after she makes her way to the docking bay she spotted Cerberus ship. Before she could think of any other move she hears shot and another merc drops on the ground before she could even react. She was now facing two tall turian one male and another one female and by the look of it high-level Cerberus agent.

 

 _“So… what do you want from me blue?”_ – Jack ask female turian staying vigilant ‘never trust anyone’.

 

 _"I just saved your ass so yea, your welcome ”_ – Jane think that at the start display dominance will make it easy.

 

 _"He was already dead. He just didn't know it. Now, what the hell do you want?”_ – Jack didn’t like it she was not in the control and still know jack shit about them.

 

_“You're in a bad situation, and I'm going to get you out of here”_

_“Shit, you sound like a pussy._ _I'm not going anywhere with you. You're Cerberus”_ – Shepard knew that look she gives her, too stubborn to listen to reason but she needs to learn more if she intended to get her to listen to her – _“Why does it matter if I'm with Cerberus?_

 

_“They have been on my ass for years. Anytime I get free, they put a huge bounty on me. That's why Warden Kuril figured he'd struck gold when he catches me.”_

_“Well it didn’t work for him in the end” –_ Jane said still looking at her, inspecting her, she becomes little more relaxed but still was wary of them like cage animal that could attack at any moment– _“No shit, I saw you end him”_ – Jane decide to try her luck – _“I'm here to ask for your help” –_ ‘yea right, help’ Jack thought – _“You show up in a Cerberus frigate to take me away somewhere. You think I'm stupid_ ”

 

They all feel another explosion behind them, Jane has little time now – _“This ship is going down in flames, I've got the only way out. I'm offering to take_ **you** _with me. And you're_ **arguing** _.”_ – she uses her commander's voice and stares at her.

Jack didn’t like it not at all. Her options become limited but she will not sell her skin easy – “ _Look, you want me to come with you, make it worth my time”_ – that was the moment Shepard was waiting for – _“Join my team and I'll do what I Can for you”_

_"Don't make promises you can't keep. I bet your ship's got lots of Cerberus databases. I want to look at those files. See what Cerberus has got on me._ _You want me on your team, let me go through those files”_

_‘Bingo’ –  “I'll give you full access.”_ – it all goes well until Miranda broke in – _“Shepard, you're not authorized to do that!”_

_“Miranda, what is information about one person compare to credits Cerberus saved?”_ – she will have to talk about her attitude towards her decision.

 

For Jack it was a good sign, she has more respect to female turian already even if still she didn’t know jack shit about her besides her odd name and maybe her dream of becoming pirate is still an option.

– _“O-o-oh, it upset the cheerleader - even better, you better be straight-up with me blue”_

Jane nod at for now it should be all – _“Move out”_

 

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

 

Jack didn’t care much about another crew member right after short briefing she goes low near the engines it was dark and mostly quiet with little people it was perfect for her. Right now she cares about information that Shepard give her and there were so much of it so she will need time to read all of this. She was a little surprised, the female turian is one of the few people that try to be nice for her even if she hates that. Jack find it odd that others squad mates refer to her as Commander Shepard. She picks up a little conversation between her and ‘Joker’ pilot – _“Okay, Shepard, glad you're back, but keep an eye on that last one. We can only hold so much crazy” –_ Anyone knew who Commander Shepard was and all Galaxy knew that she die over two years ago. Jack look at terminal she has to know, it took some digging but she came across two projects Lazarus and Avatar the more Jack read the more it all becomes surreal to her it’s look like they experiment on her. Jack hears turian steps and a moment later female turian looked around the corner – _“Hey, I’ve come to see how you do Jack”_ – Jane start hoping to learn more about her from her, her connection with Cerberus could be problematic if not resolved.

_“I'm still finding out about me. Thanks for letting me look at these files”_        

 

 _“If they're helping you, that's good enough for me.” –_ for now, it was little price to pay for her loyalty and at the time Jane could find a way to help her. Jack still have many issues with herself and her desire for vengeance and killing is something she needs to work on but Jane must be careful only with small steps she will earn Jack trust – _“You don't have to live in this pit, you know?” –_  Shepard mention – _“It's dark, quiet and hard to find. That spells safety to me”_ – Jack start looking at her, then hop on the nearest crate. She knows that they have much in common so she hatches a new plan, she could drag commander to her side – _“You know, this ship is a powerhouse. You could go, pirate, live like a queen”_ – she said looking at Jane right in the eyes – _“ You and I are very similar to one another, Cerberus raised me in a research facility and you were resurrected and transform into female turian by them. You have all rights to be mad so why don’t take that chance?”_ – Jane did not expect that from her, but she will not be intimidated by her – _“We have to stop the Collectors. I don't have time from piracy” –_  Jane sad and change her posture to a more serious one – _“Besides I never choose an easy path”_. Jack was a little disappointed but not all was lost maybe when Shepard sees the true Cerberus she will change her mind – _“You are no fun blue”_ – Jane let that last one slide.

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

Jane was still steaming after the Purgatory mission, it was strange to her, as a human she recovers rather quickly after each mission but now she still feels that hear pulse was little faster and there was still some tension in her muscle.  They should reach Zaeed coordinates tomorrow so she decides to pay a visit to other crew members and try to learn more about them after all they didn’t have time to talk properly. And maybe small talk with her crew will help ease her tension. Jane has a question about herself to Miranda so she decides to visit her first. Her talk with Miranda goes as good as she hopes so, there were no new things to learn about her body and its history, and to be honest she didn’t feel like contacting Dr. Adam for more details. But she learns a thing or two about Miranda she has an extensive genetic modification, not her decision. In short another perfect human, it was something that Jane agree on. Miranda is strong with biotic and has a high rank in Cerberus consider her age and there is something with her look that proves that not all designed by nature. When she talks about Cerberus she is strong and determined and ready to show the ‘good’ side of the organization but when topic switch to her Jane recognize uncertainty in her words like she was ashamed, afraid of something. She is the right hand of Illusive Man but Jane has a hunch that with her stubbornness she could change Miranda for better, she just needs time. Next one was Jacob and he was a soldier to the bones. He is the only one that salutes her even if she is a turian. He is honest and have no problem with her new body _– “Commander after I saw you fight, there is no doubt who I work with, and working with you is a great opportunity to do something that matters”_ – Jane thanks for small talk and additionally she learn that he could provide some upgrades to the Normandy if they god enough materials to do so she needs to talk with others maybe they could add something too. Her last stop was Mordin lab she was not surprised about a small stash of bugs in the corner and salarian doctor already have some exhibits probably from experiments he greets her warmly.

_“Plague on Omega dealt with. Plenty of time to analyze Collector intelligence and your behavior”_

 

 _“You are interested in me?”_ – Jane wasn’t really sure what to think of him or his interest in her.  

 

_“Well, especially how you adapt to a new situation, to be honest, there is still a risk of you rejecting this body or unable to cope with it. I’m glad to see you try to adapt to it, it raises the morale of the crew and your confidence as a Commander. I can send you relative information on how to help with stress relief  after the mission and other related data”_

_“Thanks, Mordin, for now, I feel good all think to consider, I like to know more about you and your feelings about the mission”_ – Jane asks him and study him, working long time with salarian is a new experience to her.

_“Impressive laboratory setup. Missed working for operation with a budget. AI in particular very helpful. Best setup I've seen since work with Special Task Group.”_

_“Is your assistant Daniel settling in all right?”_ – Jane asks, after all, they didn’t separate in good terms.

 

 _“Quite well. Safe and secure. Neighbourhood mostly quiet with plague gone._ _Left him the security merch, just in case Can't be too careful. Also tired of mechs. Noisy. Never used them in STG.”_

It was a second time when he mentions the special task group and that rise Jane interest she works in the past with STG but it was short cooperation so if he had some kind of military training maybe she could take him for some mission after he discovers how to stop collectors from kidnapping them.

 

  _“You said you were in the Special Task Group. What kind of research were you doing?”_

_“Not simply research. Several recon missions. Covert, high-risk. Served under a young captain named Kirrahe.”_ – Jane remembers that one  - _”_ _Studied krogan genophage. Took water, tissue samples from krogan colonies”_ They share small talk about Jane involvement with STG back when she chase Saren and he shares information about his mission and shined new light on the genopage. She was certain that if ask Mordin could gear up and go out with her as a squad member if needed. The talk switches to her, as salarian said before he is concern about her health he makes some quick adjustment to her diet and sends her more specific training program to help her rebuild her muscle and other additional data about turian biology and culture.  But still, he suggests that for her the best source of information should be Garrus. She still feels full of energy so decided to pay him a visit.

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

Garrus found new Normandy rather familiar, he almost feels like home again. In cargo he found some training gear and advance simulation room similar that you would find on the turian ships, there was no trace of Mako. Part of him was happy that Shepard will not have the opportunity to drive one again but he has some fun memory with it so for him, it was 50/50. Now he was in the main battery thinking of what he could do to improve it. He has some idea but it was costly and it would require them to dock on the citadel, and he wasn’t sure how will Shepard like this idea. He still feels tense after the purgatory and the way Warden Kuril speak about her makes his blood boil it was wrong and insulting on so many levels. He was glad that Jane didn’t understand most of it but he was sure that she probably catch his anger and **sub vocals**. He needs to calm himself somehow. He ends his calibration end decide to try that sim room and other training gear to help himself with the tension. He changes to his training armor and was ready to move out when the door open and Shepard stood looking at him she scanned him few times her expression change – “ _Hey_ **Garrus** _, do you got a minute?”_

 

‘Well that just great’- he thought  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait - hope you will all enjoy. Thx for all support and comments over 1k views I'm impressed


	12. The choices we make

Shepard was trying to say anything but couldn’t, this was just not happening. Just in a two-day space Jane and Garrus find themselves in an uncomfortable position. She has all conversion planed in her head. Start with small talk and then try to learn about Garrus past 2 years and try to avoid the **subvocal** topic. She knew that she will need to learn it but now Jane just has no strength to do so. She knows that for her it was like sleep but for Garrus was over 2 years and her his change and it wasn’t for good in her opinion. Unfortunately, all go out of the airlock when she steps inside the battery.  Before her stood Garrus in some kind of training gear and the room was full of his sent it wasn’t unpleasant just to the contrary. She scans him few times, he understands that he must be wearing specialized training armor that turian forces use on the ship and in other places, but why on earth it shows all his curves and edges! She quickly speaks to save herself from embarrassment – _“Hey_ **Garrus** _what are you up to?” –_ she tries cursing her **sub-vocals**.  

 

Garrus was stunned the last thing she expecting was Sheppard showing in the main battery to visit him. She changes for her armor and the moment she steps inside the room her scent hit him makes his scales vibrate. He needs to talk he needs to focus on anything other than her sent – _“Well_ **Shepard** _I was going to train a little in the sim room and try that training gear. I’m still little rigid after last mission” –_ Garrus said hoping that will be all and she will leave him alone for now.

 

Jane was surprised, so Garrus also still feel the last mission. Maybe her condition was just normal turian reaction and some workout would help with her tension – _“You too_ **Garrus?** _Maybe we could train_ **together,** _blow off some steam?”_ – she said looking at him. *What was she finking* Garrus mind was racing of some excuse not to spar with her but there was no backing  now, he couldn’t think of anything to change her mind without looking like a total dick  – _“Well I see that you could use some training, just wear your trading armor”_

_"Why? Aren’t my plates good enough? -_ She asks not entire believing it. When she firstly inspects herself they look really rigid.

 

 _“Shepard turian plates are mostly against the radiation to help us in our home Palaven. True they little stronger than human skin and we tougher overall but don’t think of it as an armor a simple knife will do the job against it not mention a weapon. Armor will help you not to get any sort of injury and is required in the sim room so ger up and meet me there”_ – He ended noticing surprise on her face so he quickly added – _“I will prepare something simple”_ – after that, he heads up the cargo is leaving her puzzled.

 

Well, that was one way to learn something new about her body Jane though while changing, it appears that you only supposed to only wear pants under this training gear. It was slightly different than her standard under armor that she uses regularly, light and more flexible. Jane still find it difficult to grasp her new look and still have no idea if she was really pretty or even acceptable in turian standard the last thing she wishes other would thing about her was that she is some kind of freak. She remembers what Garrus said about her but still, she feels uncomfortable while looking in the mirror. The ‘turian’ clothes that were provided to her also leave much to be desired. Mostly it was some kind of lose tracksuit and some kind of tunic with some loose shirts. There were comfortable but some of them dangled from her a little so some of them were too big for her. Fortunately, after a few adjustments with Garrus, her armor fit perfectly.  Adding another topic to talk with Garrus she finished dressing and move to cargo area where she should find him.

 

Garrus was nervous it was new territory for him, sure he trains some C-cec officer in his old days but this was something different. He still was thinking about this situation, having a sparring partner was good for turian health but sparing with commander was something different in turian culture. Most of the time the command train the subordinates, not the other way around. Even if Garrus consider himself a ‘bad’ turian his instinct and years of training in military and C-cec would kick in and because of that he should go easy on her. But on the other hand, he knows that she needs to learn and learn fast, so the training session must be challenging for her and the only way to do so is to be his best. The only way to achieve that was once again talking about this with her. They must come to some kind of agreement about how this training session after the mission will look like, otherwise, it will not work. He hears the door opening and spotted Commander entering the cargo. She didn’t spot him right away so he has few moments to look at her, for him she was complete and because of that at that moment, he understands that he will do anything to help her overcome her fears.

 

 _“It took you long enough Commander”_ – he started drawing her attention to her.

 

 _“Yea you know, these spurs don’t make things easy”_ – she said coming closer to him trying to make a friendly face. It’s look likes he makes some adjustment and training area looks more organized now.

 

 _“You will get hold of it in time”_ – he said nervously scratching behind his fringe.

 

 _“Something wrong_ **Garrus** _? Do you have a_ **second** _thought about this?”_ – Instantly he knew that she feels insecure of his reaction her voice say that all – _“ No of course not. It’s just…” –_ he looks at her green eyes give him courage – _“It’s because you are my commanding officer. It would be_ **you** _that would train me no other way around, and because turians mostly follow orders I still could have some objections of how far I could go against you”_ – he ended looking at her hoping she understand – “ _Well Garrus we both know that you are not a_ **good** _turian and for now it pays off so that change? ” –_ Jane ask, his explanation put some new light of turian military but still it wasn’t enough – _“You are my only friend Garrus there is no one left.” – she sight heavily looking at him –“So if I  understand correctly you would have no objection if I was trading you even if I was a human? Correct? But another way around it become some sort of taboo?” -_  she asks looking for his reaction.

 

_“Mostly, sparing with your commanding officer is acceptable but you are supposed to go easy on him even lose to him to keep morale up. Unfortunately, if we go that  way you will not learn how to fight properly as a turian ”_

 

 _“I see that only way to solve this and make some progress is if I back a little”_ – she sighs looking at him, Garrus confirm – _“I have no problem with shooting according to reading my accuracy didn’t fall so much, but this body is still unknown to me_ **Garrus** _. Without proper training I’m just asking for accident or to lose with someone because I didn’t train properly”_ – again Garrus saw the part of Shepard you don’t see every day, the vulnerable one – _“So why don’t we try something else, when we are here it’s you that takes the lead. I’m no longer Commander to you I’m just Shepard and you become my coach,  you speak I do. How about that arrangement_ **Garrus?** _” –_ She asks him, he hears hint if the plea in her voice he just can’t refuse her.

_“Yea that could work out really well, if you are sure about it”_

_“I’m sure_ **Garrus** _, I need to use every moment to become better and only_ **you** _could really show me how”_     

 

 _“Then let’s not waste any time_ ** Sheppard ** _”_

 

So they start, he shows her basic stuff that she could practice alone or when she got free time and for some reason, Garrus could not help her, how properly stretch and other useful advice. He shows her some basic hand to hand combat move and teach her all about weak points of turian body. Then he decides to try out little a sparring, starting with an easy one as he put it ‘to let you build up your confidence’.

Jane feels something inside her change while they were against each other on the mat, it was excitement or something else. Shepard hopes that she still has her flexibility on her side and knowing that she decides not to go easy on him. Garrus instantly notice her determination so he prepares himself for good sparing session, expecting nothing less from Sheppard.

 

The duo becomes immersed in their training punches were exchange bodies were thrown it becomes almost like a dance. Jane was positively surprised after she manages to hold her ground quite well against Garrus even if almost every round she ends up losing it was a great experience and after 20 times she ends up on the mat he calls it a break. She tries to protest but when she noticed that there were sparing and training for almost 3 hours Jane realize that break is needed. Tomorrow they go up with Zaeed and she still feels hesitant about this but she owns him. Her thoughts were broken by Garrus  - _“You did well_ **Sheppard.** _It is a good start”_ – she hears him used his **subvocal** on her name again, what it could mean? Just another thing for her long list he sighs – _“Yea, it’s easy for you to say. I was the one tossing around” –_ she said stretching her back with good *crack* on her back plates and while doing so she didn’t spot Garrus looking at her. Garrus was good mood after sparing it helps him a lot but with his own tension but now he just couldn’t help himself looking at Shepard. She was perfect, beautiful, even with an armor he could see her muscle her punch was something to watch for and her short red ended fringe was the cherry on the cake. He was sure that she was almost 2 meters high maybe little below that and that makes her perfect for his taste but he must have controlled himself otherwise it could end up badly for him and his friendship with Sheppard. *Just take it slowly* it becomes his mantra – _“You will learn and I’m always to help you. I’m heading to take a shower, take some rest Sheppard see you tomorrow”_ – he ends up with little * **purr** *.     

 

With that they both part they ways, she ends her inspection and headed to her cabin. After the short shower she ends up with her bed and then she notices something lingering in the air. She took a deep breath through her nose and sense a soft metallic aroma. She thinks for a moment about it. It must be  Garrus smell, he probably leaves it on her accidentally while sparing she found a strange comfort in it and fall asleep immediately.  In another part of the ship, Garrus was tossing around his bunk even after long shower her scent was still on him, he knew that Sheppard leaves it on him by accident but still, it was a pain in the ass because he likes how she smells. Now he realizes that this time will be as much hard for him as for her.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Garrus manage to catch more sleep than he hopes so but even then the mission didn’t go as Shepard hopes. He saw it in her eyes only thanks to EDI help and quick thinking on his part they have to manage to kill two birds with one stone. There were able to quickly activate the emergency firefighting systems, and EDI took control over the mech inside the station to evacuate workers so they could catch Vido. Garrus was a little surprised that Shepard didn’t stop Zaeed from killing him but after he learns about the past it makes sense. It was personal, it was revenge and he hopes that one day he also could have the same chance with Sidonis. There was one unanswered question to him after they finish Vido Zaeed clearly sad to Shepard – _“Now we are even” –_ Garrus didn’t know what to think about it. He looks at her looking for answers but she wasn’t in the mood to talk about it so he drop it for now.

 

Jane learns much more about Zaeed on this mission, his harsh look and scars hide someone who will do anything to achieve his goal. He was the one who creates the blue suns and was betrayed in the process just like Garrus was. And that scares her, Garrus was on the path to becoming someone else. She like old Garrus his jokes even if there were awkward and misplaced. Small talk back they have back in the days always put her in good mood, now he becomes experienced by life in the bad way. She must find a way to get him back for his own sake but how?

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

He found her in the middle of the training routine she was punching training bag with the great ferocity with the different style she learns in the past few days. They were on the way to get Dr. Okeer and while on in they start collecting resources form different planet they come across to sell it or use it on future upgrades. They have few sparring matches and used simulation room but nothing so long as the 1st time. Garrus was pulled more to the forward's battery to calibrate it because someone put the really poor job on them. But now he got information from Dr. Chakwas that Shepard stop eat properly probably due to stress she was in and ask him if he could do something about it.  He grunted so she could know he was here but she was still focused on the training bag.

 

 _“You shouldn’t train without a proper meal you know. You should build up your mass not burn it away”_ – he starts hoping to get her attention

 

_“I’m not hungry, besides soon we will hit Korlus that is filled with krogan and blue suns. I must be in my top shape”_

_“Yea that will not happen if you starve yourself Shepard” –_ he said coming closer to her – _“What’s bothering you,_ **Shepard** _? You still didn’t cool down?”_ – Her biotic flame up and in one swift punch she destroys the punching bag * **just great** *. Jane turn around and look at him – _“What’s it all about_ **Garrus** _? It’s not the 1 st time you see me angry”_ – he is little surprise how easy for her is to summon her biotic in her turian body.

 

He notices that she wasn’t able to calm her down and now his presence somehow made her angrier he clearly hear ***growl*** coming from her – _“It bothers you isn’t it? Our last mission” –_ he tries to talk her down, she is clearly tense but sparing with that condition could create a problem – _“Come-on Shepard talk to me”_ – but with that exact same moment, he put his hand on her shoulder she punch him right on his left mandible following by fast blow to the stomach. Lucky for him he was still in his armor that took most of her assault. He quickly recovers and took defense stance blocking and parry few of her punches not knowing what bite her.   

 

 _“Hey, hey calm down a little. I’m just here to talk I even bring food ”_ – he starts trying to dodge and parries her strong punches. Garrus need to find a way to stop this. It becomes dangerous not only for him but for her. Then it hit him she wasn’t angry at him, she was angry at herself and could find a way to calm her down that was his window – _“Great Commander Shepard is angry at herself that’s a new one”_

 

For split second she stops right here and there not knowing how to react. She didn’t know that he could read her so easy and before she could think about some response he pins her down the mat. She breathing hard trying to free herself but finally, he has her right when she will not be able to run away from him. Finally, Garrus was able to stop her assault truly he wishes he didn’t need to use a cheese tactic but there was no other way. They both groan from encounter but Garrus notice that Shepard was starting to calm down a little but still wasn’t in the mood to talk.

_“You didn’t expect mission could go so much sideways do you?”_ – the only response he gets was a nod.

 

_“But the mission was a success! Zaeed is now total loyal to you not to the Cerberus that’s a win”_

_“How you can be so sure about it? He only cares about_ **revenge** _” – she said angrily still trying to avoid his gaze – “He is a merc but he is more like Wrex you know”_ – she looks at him with a questioning look – _“Angry grumpy old man. But when you earn his respect he will follow” –_ he was hoping that it would help her but she was still didn’t look convicting.

_“It’s different Shepard. This whole ‘suicide’ mission. There will be probably more squad mates that will need your attention more strange problem to solve. You will have to adapt to new roles and situation it’s no longer just guns and blazing but you can do it”_ – he ended up smiling at her.

 

“ _But how far I could go to achieve this?”_ – she asks looking at him

 

 _“You never know until you will give a choice”_ – he moves his hand to her fringe stroking her lightly.

 

 _“You can do it_ **Jane** _” –_ he said quietly 

 

It was something she needs right now, some to lean on in the hour of need. They stay that for a few moments looking at each other. She likes that, she like his heat his aroma but also Jane becomes aware of their position and her face start to become dark blue again no that she wasn’t enjoying herself but still she was a little embarrassment.

 

 _“I really appreciate the help Garrus but could you,_ **ekhmm** _release me now?_ ” – he looks at her noticing her change in color. He helps her get up trying to think about some line to loosen up a little.

 

 _“So you will now eat properly? You know that dr. Chakwas will kill me if you don’t”_ - 

 

 _“Thank you_ **Garrus** _I will”_ – she said

 

 

Together they set up to eat what Garrus bring, they spoke about Jack and other crew members. Jane was glad that he was able to talk with Joker and they let past stay in the past.

_“So what can you tell me about the Normandy 's armaments? It seems that you spend a long time calibrating this thing?”_ – she asks him while chewing on steak.

 

 _“Looks like Cerberus upgraded what the ship carried before. But it needs more touch for better performance, don’t be hard on me –_ he tries to say it seriously but fail, making her smile a little – _“I still don't like our chances against a Collector ship, though. Not unless we upgrade the guns.”_

_“Have you got any ideas?”_

_“A few, yea but I’m not sure if you will like it”_  - he said giving her datapad containing information about Thanix Cannon. She read information and then sighs deeply.

 

_“So there is no other place other than Palaven or Citadel that we could buy and install it?”_

 

 _“Unfortunately no. It’s a fairly new model and there is strict control of who could get it. And installing it form the second-hand source is too risky”_  

The mood change they both don’t like the idea of going back to the citadel for her it would mean facing a crowd of people and reporters and probably the council for him it means that his father would get hold of his location and could use his connection to force c-cec to capture him.

 

_“You don’t have to decide now. We still need some resources and we need to get Dr. Okeer 1 st. Maybe I will find some alternative to this. Give me some time, ok?”        _

 

 _“Yea that’s sound like a plan”_ – she agrees with him without great enthusiasm.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

She found herself alone in her cabin looking at the message she wrote to Anderson the only man she considers a family. She stares at the ‘send’ button for over an hour now. Shepard wasn’t sure how to describe her situation or what her goal was but still, Jane knew that Anderson should know about her. So she just sends him a photo with a quick explanation of what happened with the data she has from the Freedom's Progress hoping that would be enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all support and kudos, stay tuned for more. And always I hope you all enjoy.


	13. You and me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW - you have been warned

Shepard was in the main battery inspecting Garrus work on the forward battery his calibration was great but they need the Thanix guns if they want to have any chance against the collectors ship – _“I must say_ **Garrus** _you did a great job here”_ – she starts, noticing that he move right behind her – _“So_ **Shepard** _like guys with big guns?”_ –  He was so close Jane clearly could feel his **sub-vocals** _on her neck – “_ **Garrus?** _What are..”_ – she tried to turn back to face him but he licks her neck making her shiver from the top to bottom. *What was that?* Shepard try to move but he grabs her around the stomach and across the chest while continuing his assault liking and nipping her neck making her unable to focus on anything else. Her nostrils were filled with his scent and his ***purring*** wouldn’t stop her breath become shallow.  

 _“Shiii, I’m here for you_ **Jane** _”_ – the way he said her name makes her shiver in anticipation of what will come next. She feels his hand move to her waist scratching her gently another on her shoulder and arm holding her steady – _“_ **You** _are so tense._ _Let me help_ **you** _._ **I** _know how to help_ **you** _” – she couldn’t stop this, his body was so hot and so close his_ **sub-vocals** _make her head spin –”_ **Garr…** _” –_ was her last attempt to do something about it but in a swift movement, he turned her head into a deep and passionate kiss. There was no place to run she was trapped between console and his strong grip and kiss, her own body was reacting to him making ***purring*** sound of her own become hotter and hotter. The room was filled with a ***click and** **rumble** ***** noises, their sent mix together creating a treat for their senses. She feels his hand moving slowly from her waist to her stomach tickle her but it didn’t stay long there. Garrus slowly but surely move lower and lower between her legs. She broke the kiss looking at him trying to take some fresh air, but it was so heavy with his scent it almost blinds her –  _“_ **Garrus I…** _”_ – she started heavily – _“_ **You are beautiful you are _and I know_ what you need _”_** – he ended up going right for his prize. She shouts his name a new wave of emotion and feelings rush through her body. His hand was massaging her fiords and he quickly moves back to licking and nipping at her throat. There were so close to each other that she could feel his body vibrates. She feels his plates on her, the sound they made stimulate her even more. There was no way she could stop his assault they were both naked and he held all power over her, controlling her. Jane didn’t know that Garrus have it in him, to be so daring, gentle, skilled and passionate.  The hot knot in her stomach that was forming over the past few days become more and more clasped but now she feels that it was ready to explode inside her. She spread her legs and was reworded by another dose of ***purring*** licking and faster movement on his part. Shepard couldn’t form words only her **sub-vocals** speak for her, then it hit her. Her climax was coming stronger than anything she ever feels before. Suddenly she realizes that they start to lose balance. She moves her hand to grip the console so he could still continue his great work. Jane was so close one more push, just one small… suddenly the siren went on. The whole main battery starts to flash, the noise was unbearable, he moves away from her with a mischievous smile – _“Don’t…_ ** Garr… Garrus!” **– she shouts after him.

 

The main battery shifted her breath was fast and shallow she was confused about what just happened her vision was blurry as she clearly hears the irritating alarm on her right side, she destroys it instantly. It all becomes clear to her, it was just all a dream she takes a few low breaths to calm herself. It wasn’t happening… did she just have a wet dream about her and Garrus in the main battery? It was so real like someone was touching her, she took another breath but this time through her nose it hit her. His smell was still on her training armor, she didn’t care to change for the night, another breath and she could smell herself. She was so aroused, Jane could feel wateriness between her legs but the release never came it makes her angry. Her body trembles, she knew what should be done but this body was unknown to her, how even turian women take care of that *thing*? She decided that long cold shower will surely help her. It mostly her more important thing was changing into new fresh clothes without his sent it helps a little, with a new mindset to try to calm herself before mission she moves out to the mess.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Paretia Dexitius was waiting in the kitchen for Vakarian and Shepard with breakfast, commander usually starts her day early taking full advantage of her shorter sleep pattern gathering resources talking to the crew and planning their next move. She must admit that Commander in her action is really close to turian standards when running the ship. Paretia overheard her talk with other Cerberus crewmembers making sure that her idea was put into motion. To be honest she was proud of herself some people complained about how it was possible that turian meal smell and looks better human one on Cerberus vessel. She spotted commander coming to the mess hall but was stop by the human cook, she was able to overhear small bits – “ _…The crew deserves a few fine meals....if I had some quality ingredients…”_. It was clear that Shepard will have another task on her head. She took her meal and greet her moving to sit down. Paretia notices something, something in the air and the source of it was none other than Commander herself. It becomes clear to her why the commander was ‘late’ to the breakfast maybe if she could find a way to ‘guide’ commander it will make her mission a successful one.

 

 _”Long night Commander?” –_ she starts taking a seat in front of her.

 _“You could say that”_  - Shepard answers her enjoying food looking at her - ‘does she know something?’ – she wonders

 _“How’s your training with_ **Garrus**?” – she looks her noticing her glare, been an expert spy Paretia knew that she hit the spot.

 _“Why you ask?”_ – Shepard try to calm herself, any mention of Garrus bring back her dream. The cold shower was unfortunately only temporary solution.

 _“Well you two seem really close, and you trust_ **him** _completely”_ – Shepard didn’t like her tone – ‘wait was she jealous’? 

_“He was one of the first that help me bring down Saren, never questioning, always have my six and he didn’t back off when I ask him for help one more time. I know he was a little shock when we meet for the first time. But somehow he was able to realize that it was me but in the different flesh.”_  

_“It looks like both of you could share quite a story”_

_“Yea I have my share of scars through our hunt for Saren, but now I feel like part of me is gone. I know that I’m turian but I have many scars that remind me of my battles loses and victory. Now it’s all gone”_

_"It’s a good thing”_ – Paretia sad looking at her, Shepard was puzzled – “ _The scars in our culture are look down, something to be ashamed of”_ – she explained – _“Especially one that is easy to spot and you have enough problem been bare-faced and without proper background it won’t be easy to blend in”_

Shepard was quiet for a moment thinking about it could it mean that Garrus was an outcast just like her?

 _“Well not exactly an outcast, but he manages to disfigure his clan markings. It could be hard for him to find a mate to fulfill his duty”_ – Paretia explain reading her easy

 _“Are clan markings and finding a mate are so important in turian culture?”_  

 _“In ancient days markings was one most important thing. With the clan come history with it comes respect or hate they are your blessing or your curse. If you a part of the clan you represent it outside, others will ask for your guides, help, your strength. Your enemy could know your weakness and your fears.  Without them, you have no background no personality no attachment no responsibilities and sometimes no future. It’s something that probably we will never get over it”_ – Paretia explained – _“Now it less important, it’s ‘more_ _I need a reason to dislike you’ ordeals. Finding a mate is important everywhere Commander but a woman is equal in turian society. Additionally, there are some really old Clans on Palaven that_ _still hold much power and one of them is Vakarian”_

 _“So, Vakarians are some kind of nobility?” –_ Jane asks slowly wondering what it means to Garrus.

 _“Well not exactly like that, we are the more military focus. If some family is exceptional in doing something they gain respect and go higher in our society. Castis Vakarian is one of the greatest C-cec detective, the prime example of how ‘good’ turian should act, even after he retired his name is still well known and on top of that, he has really good relation with Primarch Fedorian. That’s why I was so surprised to see someone form Vakarian family” –_ Paretia ended looking at commander reaction.

Jane was surprised, to say the least, she tries not to think that way but this new information could mean only one thing. Garrus would never benefit from their friendship, it stings her and before she could control it low ***whine*** escape her.

Paretia didn’t need anything more from Commander she exactly knew what was on her mind, she also knew exactly how Garrus feel about her. He tries to control his body when the commander was close to him but for Paretia it was clear as day. But it is something he should tall Shepard. Paretia was aware that Cerberus will do anything to keep Shepard on their side and it was something that she could not let happen. The Alliance was in lost position, from intel she receives before mission they were terrified that someone brings Commander back and that means that Shepard was really alone. Orders form the high command was clear. Kill the imposter if she was fake or convince her to the turian course of thinking and Garrus was her winning card.

 _“You like_ **him?** _don’t you”_ – Shepard look at her surprised, was she so transparent?

 _“I’m not sure how to feel about it I… I was never eager to date, there was always something more important to do. Not only that but most men only see Commander, not the Shepard it was really frustrating, to be honest. But…”_ – Shepard wasn’t sure why she tells her all that but she felt better knowing that she can share her problem with someone – _“I always like talking and working with him. But now when I become turian its all-new experience”_

 _“You don’t know what he thinks about you as a turian?”_ – Paretia wasn’t sure how to explain it to her without saying what she already knew about Garrus feelings.

 _“Let’s say that, If you have any clan makings you would have problem keeping men away from you Shepard”_ – Shepard reaction was priceless – “ _But because you are bare-face without military background most will leave you alone, until they learn you are **Ambulans caelum** so just be careful and keep your blue at bay” – _ she said looking at her knowing how to plant appropriate response from her – _“But to be honest Shepard just between two of us,_ **Garrus** _is still_ **good looking** _turian you know”_

Jane body instantly responds to her ***charming*** tones by emitting low ***snarl*** at her before she could stop it. Shepard become little frustrated that she has so little control over them, she wants to apologize to Paretia but notice that her face resemble some kind of smile and she clearly could hear a ***chirr*** coming from turian – _“Is.. is that a turian laugh?”_ – Jane asks slowly not knowing how to understand it.    

 _“You could say that. It’s a sound of happy turian it’s mostly situational but now you could interpret that way”_ – Paretia said looking at her, she notices that Shepard was lost in thoughts, it looks like they didn’t find a good way to talk about more intimate stuff of turian culture if so it could become a problem really fast if no resolved, but Paretia was top spy and knew exactly how to exploit it.

Jane was thinking about all she learned, was Paretia laugh at her or because of her? She really wants to ask her about ***purring*** that Garrus used on several occasion and why he didn’t use that ***chirr*** sound but was prevented by someone who jumps on the chair next to her – _“What’s up blue? What you two are talking about?”_ – it was Jack with great timing – _“About… stuff”_ – Jane welcome her with a relief that she listen to her and get more clothes on. Still, she looks like someone who was ready for a rock concert not for a fight but it was an improvement – _“Yea… stuff”_ – Jack was ready to mock Shepard a little but Jacob and Miranda also join them. They all were little surprised when Jane announce them that on the next mission she will take Jack, Jacob, and Garrus. She calls it ‘active training and trust building’ the time wasn’t on their side and each of them will have to learn how to fight as a team. Jane spotted Garrus entering the mess hall, she could feel that her body tense and small ***purr*** came out of her. She ends her meal not wanting to stick around to expose herself to more embarrassing. She still has some arrangements to do before mission so she greets him and informs him to be ready. Jane was ready to leave the mess hall when she hears ***charming*** welcoming coming from Paretia towards Garrus. Jane body reacts instantly this time much higher ***snarl*** come out of her, she needs to take control of her body!

Garrus was in poor mood coming to the mess hall he was ready for next mission and the prospect of good turian breakfast help him a little. Unfortunately, his research to find a replacement of Thanix cannon fails miserably. Because of that, he comes late but still hoping he could talk about it with Shepard, unfortunately, she was already leaving to make some last minute assignment. She moves next to him and suddenly he notices two things, one was her smell. He could clearly feel it in the air his body knew what it could mean. He was pushing himself now not to vocalize his interest in her. The second one was her low but still, noticeable ***purr*** , only food could take his mind off this things. Moving fast he welcome rest of the crew and sit down next to Paretia ready for some normal conversation. What was his surprise when she greets him with such ***charming*** tones coming from her. Before he could try to comprehend what was happening Garrus clearly hear the angry ***sub-vocals*** coming from the commander. ‘What was that all about!’ he and his body were confused. Unfortunately, others notice something has happened to Commander, he must do something to prevent the awkward situation – _“You alight Shepard? She didn’t poison you didn’t she?”_ – he asks trying to sound casually

 _“Yea thank you, just a small hiccup”_ – she said quickly and moves herself to the armory.   

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Shepard know that she can’t be subject to her body primitive *instinct*, ‘mind over the body’ she quickly counts to ten taking a few deep breaths. She wishes it was easy, she has feelings for him on the 1st Normandy but then they were two different species and it was only in her deepest fantasies that they could become something more. Now it was a different story, she took a deep breath, oh why he smells so good, she closes her eyes, images of her dream come to life. She feels her body heat up and in the reflection, Jane spotted that parts of her hide slowly was turning to a dark-blue color.  

 _“Well, that just great”_ – she said moving herself to the cargo bay not noticing a shadow lurking in the dark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thak's for all support, it is my 1st attempt in some 'hot' action so be nice :) 
> 
> As always I hope you have a great time


	14. The big one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As always enjoy

 

Jane, Garrus and Miranda were in the cargo bay looking at the container and a ‘baby’ krogan inside. In the eyes of Commander and Miranda, the mission was mostly a failure, the should save Dr. Okeer a brilliant and brutal krogan warlord who becomes obsessed with saving the krogan people form the genophage and it was believed that he has contacts with Collectors technology to achieve that. He used that knowledge to breed a new generation of Krogans under the protection of the Blue Suns which there were hoping to use this army for their own gain. Shepard and her team have broken through waves of human and Krogans mercenary to reach krogan doctor.  Unfortunately, Blue Suns realized that Dr. Okeer will not provide them ‘the krogan army’ so in the end he was killed by the poison.  They gather what they could from his data and took the container with them.  

 

So for the past few minutes, they argue what to do with him. Bringing the krogan for study makes sense for some. Miranda on the other hands has great concerns about walking him. Sheppard was sure that a "pure" krogan could pack a hell of a punch and if this krogan was half as good as Wrex they would have a great addition to their team. Small grim appear on her turian jaws when she remembers some of their escapades with old krogan.  

 

 _“Commander I highly recommend you to think more before waking him I have to make a report to Illusive Man. And we still should pick up_ _The Master Thief from the Citadel”_ – with that Miranda left the cargo bay leaving Jane and Garrus alone with sleeping Krogan.

 

The room becomes quiet only sound comes from the container. Both of them thinking about a mission and what do next. Garrus was glad how well the mission went with Shepard leadership they destroy merc left and right, and even Jackob and Jack manage to work together without any big issue. Her command skill didn’t diminish so four of them have no problem on the field. But he remembers the last warning from the recordings about the nature of the ‘Pureblood Krogan’. He needs to find an away to convince her not to open the pod by herself, maybe Jacob and Jack could open it or someone else.

 

 _“Shepard you should really reconsider your option here”_ – he starts slowly breaking the silence.

_“You know that there is only one option, Garrus we’re running out of time and we need good allies. And according to EDI scan, he will be a powerhouse if train properly”_ – she simply stated not even looking at him still thinking.

_“Yea… but he is a pure blood krogan. And probably he has built in hatred for turians like you and me. So, we could assume that he will attack you without warning”_ – he said hoping that at least her self-preservation would win. 

_“Yeah that will be the most probable outcome” –_ she said looking at him. Well at least there was something they both agree on – _“But if others will open it and then I will show up he will think of me as a coward. Just remember how much time and effort I need to convince Wrex to listen and like me”_ – she ended again looking at floating Krogan in the tank.

 

Garrus sigh defeated knowing full well that she was right again but that will not stop him from last one attempt to push away inevitable so he moves forward behind her. She was still thinking about how to convince Garrus when she feels his hands on her arms, griping her and then slowly he started to massage her. She was lost in the moment trying to find a way to react to his sudden touch, she can’t deny that it feels good. Even when a mission went relatively smoothly, she still has some close combat encounter with few Krogans merc that was able to get to her so in some places on her body were still stiff. She really wants to close her eyes and just enjoy the moment but she knew that tank must be open sooner than later.

 

 _“Come on Sheppard, I agree with you that we need him on our team, just wait a day or two we could find a way to safely open the pod without so much risk” –_ he said slowly while continuing his escapade on her shoulders. He hopes for a positive reaction from her so when he hears a low ***purr*** Garrus breathed a sigh of relief that maybe he convinced her.

 

 _“You know Garrus”_ – she starts turning around to face him – “ _you are right about it. Maybe we should wait, Dr. Okker was the last person from the dossier and I’m still not sure if we should visit Citadel. Maybe you could continue what you start in a different location? Sofa sound good? Captain quarters?”_ – she ended up with another ***purr*** a small smile appear on the face.

 

Garrus was stunned for a moment he knew that she was stiff and he hit some sensitive for turians but this? A wave of heat hit him, the sudden shift was a welcome one and how could he not say no to those eyes that look at him?  *And additionally you will spend time with her alone, just what you want anyway* whisper the voice in his head.

 

Garrus agree to proposition his brain was running intensely. He was surprised that she was so easily persuaded but he blamed it on her fatigue. Garrus was trying to remember some other moves he could use to help her with tension. His line of thoughts was stopped by the sound of the closing door behind him. He turns around and was welcome by the red light, door was locked down. Shepard was now alone with the tank and he could see clearly through a small window what she plans to do next. He tries to breach doors but they wouldn’t budge he open his app to try to hack it but it would take time.

 

Jane breathed a sigh of relief after she close door just behind his back. She knew that he cares about her and the start of his massage feel just great, she just hopes that he will not be angry at her. But there are things that Jane as a leader must do alone. On the other side, she could hear his voice asking her to open the door than something like panel been strip from the wall. Even without the help of EDI, she knew that Garrus will eventually open it.

 

 _"Stand by. I'm going to open the tank and let him out”_ – she stated to EDI

 

 _"Cerberus protocol is very clear regarding untested alien technology, and Garrus seems to disagree with the idea of opening it"_ – EDI reminds her.

 

_"He's either a powerful addition to the crew or a time bomb. I'd rather deal with it now. And this is probably the last chance that I will be let alone with him"_

 

_"Very well, Shepard. The controls are online. The switch.... and consequences... are yours"_

 

Without further delay, she moves to the console select the release sequence and was ready to press enter. Last time she looks behind her meeting Garrus eyes that say all but she couldn’t back of now she pres enter. 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

He feels dazed, he knew that he is in the tank, feels that liquid its pumped out, so he tries to take his 1st breath but fail to do so. His other senses wake up one by one, the container open. Still unable to take a breath he falls to his knees and by doing so the remain liquid purr out from his lungs, finally, he can breathe. Instantly he senses something in the air its strange, like a cocktail. Turian, human, friend or a foe, for now, it doesn’t matter to him if she is weak, he will kill her and take over this ship as a new battle master.  He gathers his strength his body and mind ready and set on the target before him a tall female turian. He knew the history, Okeer imprint talk to him, the turian race curses his people with genophage that he should take revenge, it is something tank want not him, he only wants a fight so why not start now? He takes an aggressive stance inspecting her, he wants to strike fear in her heart but she is different than turian form the imprint! She is tall her posture firm. Then she does unthinkable, taking a few steps forward without a sign of fear on her face or scents, mocking him! His blood boil he clenched his fists and take a fast strike to her face. But faster than he could blink or process what happened he feels sudden pain on the ribs. She doge his 1st strike and counter it with her own blow. He tries to strike her one more time then again and again but each time she dodges it and counters it with her own punch.  He is becoming angrier, she should be trembling in fear it should be easy for him to overpower her but the female still holds strong against him! Desperate to win he leaps forward and manages to pin her down to the wall. He is satisfied, he has her! Waiting for a hint of fear in her, she again didn’t match the imprint that Okeer left in him, she seems more annoyed than anything else. But he will not give up! The ‘tank’ left instruction of how to strike fear in the heart of his enemy he will use them.

 

 _“Turian Female”_ – he starts with confident – _“Before you die, I need a name”_

 

 _“I'm Commander Shepard, and I don't take threats lightly. I suggest you relax”_ – he is surprised by her answer, she still thinks that she has control over the situation!

 

_“Not your name. Mine I am trained, I know things, but the tank... Okeer couldn’t implant connection. His words are hollow. Warlord, legacy, grunt...grunt. 'Grunt' was among the last. It has no meaning. It'll do. I am Grunt. If you are worthy of your command, prove your strength and try to destroy me”_

_“You were just born whelp why so eager to die”_ – her tone cold her eyes piercing him like a knife, she is so different.

 

_"Want? I do what I am meant to... fight and revel the strongest. Noting in the tank ever asked what I want. I feel noting for Okeer's clan or his enemies. That imprint failed. He has failed. Without a reason that's mine, one fight is as good as any other. Might as well start with you.”_

_“I took you, and I released you. Follow my command, and you'll have a purpose”_ – he studies her, he could crush her but something was of her aura has changed there was fire now in her eyes – _“Nothing in the tank imprints indicated turians could be so forceful. You command as though you've earned it”_

_“My enemies threaten galaxies. Everyone on my ship has earned their place”_

 

_"Hmm, Hmph! That's acceptable. I'll fight for you”_

 

 _“I'm glad you saw reason”_ – she said looking at him a smile appear on her face when he notices something pressing on his stomach. Looking down he spotted her hand clenched into a fist with a blue aura around it. Now he understands, but it was a too late, her biotic flare up instantly, strong enough to push him back, it was a surprise, the imprint did mention that some turians have biotic but it was a rarity and turian hierarchy wouldn’t let someone like her leave, he will have to observe her more.

 

 _“Ha! Offer one hand, but arm the other”_ – Grunt said while Sheppard turns down her biotic knowing that things between them are under control.

 

 _“Wise, Shepard. If I find a clan, if I find what I... I want, I will be honored to eventually pit them against you.”_ – with that statement, she was certain that he will follow her. She proposed that she will show him the ship and what his task will be outside the missions. Shepard only hope that Garrus will not do something unreasonable. Fortunately, when the door opens, she found Garrus leaning against the wall, pretending to casually waiting for them. They proceed to introduce Grunt to the rest of the crew with a mix reaction but in the end, Grunt really cares about the armory and the cargo where the training gear was held.  

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jane ends up another planet scanning when she hears clear steps coming from behind, she didn’t need to look back to know who was approaching her.

 

 _“You know… you could at least take a gun with you”_ – Garrus said leaning against the walls

 

 _“I think that my approach was the best one”_ – Jane answer while inspecting the result of the last probe that was sent on the planet.

_“Yea…_ _headbutt a krogan and earning another bruise on the back. Now you are stiffer than ever”_

_” It’s not so bad”_ – she tries to argue, sending him a Commander glare.

 

 _“Yhmm, let’s see how fast you will change your mind”_ – with that he punched her gently in the back. And of course, she couldn’t stop a ***hiss***. Her back was really sore after last mission and her ‘sparing’ with Grunt.

 

_“I just need a good sleep, and it will go away **Garrus** ”_

_”Yea maybe with the human body. You are a turian now Shepard, if you don’t do something about it will accumulate and eventually all your small tensions and small bruises will accumulate and explode”_

Garrus knowing her too well didn’t give her time to argue. He just put his hand on her shoulder and start slowly massage her. She ***hiss*** at him but he knew better, this one was different, more relaxed one. Like when you gently open a can of soda. He watched as her posture change and all energy slowly but steady start to disperse and then re-emerge in a specific pattern so then, in the end, he could direct all that stress outside in one enjoyable push. He moves from her shoulders to arms and then again up. Then slowly from the base of her neck to her back knowing that he will need to work harder on that part.

 

Jane was surprised by his action. She wants to argue with him but the second he touches her and starts his massage she lost all will to stop him.  It was a new sensation, even when Jane was marine in the alliance nobody ever offer her a message. Probably because of rules anyone was afraid of what could have happen. So she let him do his magic and enjoys his touch. The first sensation of laxity was soon replaced by another spark of heat that slowly but steady build up in her back slowly traveling upright forward her neck. Jane didn’t know how Garrus manage that but his hand does wonders. Her breath becomes shallow so Garrus start preparing her for the last few strokes that erase all tension from her body.

 

Then it all crush down when doors open and Kelly Chambers storm inside.

 

 _“Commander you have an important call from an Illusive man. He said it is urgent!”_ – she says, only after a moment she notices what was happening, maybe she should listen to EDI and wait a little longer? She quickly decides to leave them after seeing Garrus death stare and her transmitter pick up some strange sounds coming from Commander. 

 

The moment was shattered for both of them she feels even stiffer and more annoyed than before, he was cursing. Garrus lost his window to help her now it will be worst then before and he knew that. They both breathed heavily, both trying to do something to the broke tension that arises but neither could. She looks back at him, his eyes heavy with a strange expression that she couldn’t read.

 

 _“I should go...see you around Garrus”_ – her voice hollow without emotion, just like his reply – “ _Yea…I will be in the main battery if you need me.”_

After her fast exit, she hears a bump coming from the room like someone hit a metal panel.

 

She prepares herself for another talk with the Illusive Man trying to calm herself down after unsatisfying ending. But something was telling her that the news will not be good, she just feels it. The hollo projection goes live and again she is faced with her 'boss'. Jane knew that something big was coming, he was already smoking and his glass was empty.

 

“ _Shepard. I think we have them!”_                           

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and I'm really sorry for delays. I couldn't find a solution to a problem that I stumble upon. But in the next chapters, it all will be clear. Thanks for all the reads and feedback


	15. Horizon

She didn't like it not at all, landing on Horizon was like looking for the unknown and she hates it. Not only there were against the ship that destroy the 1st Normandy but Jane learn that her old friend  Kaidan Alenko was station there. She only hopes that he is alright but she also fears of his reaction to her new body.  Shepard was brief about the situation but still, they were no idea what will they find there. She was first to leave the shuttle, fortunately, the technology that Mordin install was working and seeker swarm just ignore her. She signals her other squadmates so Grunt, Jacob, and Garrus join her looking for a clue of what was happening. Soon enough they learn that the Collectors are in mid-operation: moving colonists into their ship.  After learning this it was clear that ground team must find a way to stop them before they abduct the rest of the colony with the help of EDI they learn about the artillery it was their key to victory.  

 

The moment when the 1st enemy drop down Grunt knew he chooses well. His battle master was the force that should be feared. The strange human husk and collectors troops felt left and right while Shepard leads them further into the colony. He loves how he moves and hill his enemy, her commands good and calculated without hesitation. It feels good when another collector was killed by a double omni blade, he moves to strike another enemy down when unthinkable happened. The collector in front of him starts to glow an burst of energy send him flying. Trying to stay focus he hears an ire voice –“ I am assuming direct control” – Grunt for the first time is surprised? It's a new sensation, for the moment it makes him unable to move. The enemy is ready to strike him down. The sound of a heavy sniper shot and another round from the Shepard snap him out.

 

 _“Nothing stand against us. Not even your new form will help you, Shepard. On the contrary, it will be your doom” –_ he said in cold voice trying to shot her but he froze when the barrel of the shotgun connect to his head.

 

Grunt pull the trigger and the headless body fall to the ground – _“They still die when you shoot them”_ – he said trying to lighten the mood. He notices that something was bothering commander. Together they move to inspect build and pods. It was clear that husk was like when Shepard fight them on Eden Prime so it was clear that the Collectors were working with the Reapers. Grunt was trying to figure out the situation or there was some itching on the plates he wasn’t sure. The strange enemy seems to know Shepard, what is the connection? The barefaced turian biotic on a human ship with the crew that many consider a terrorist organization? The harder he think the more it itches he must stop the itch.  

_“Shepard… You know that guy? The one I blow head up?_

_“More or less I supposed”_ – she still was trying to understand how on earth they recognize her. Garrus did not like where it was going.

 

 _“And what about the ‘new form’, he mentions something about it”_ – Grunt asks before Garrus could do anything to prevent that question. 

They all stop for e moment. Shepard wondering how to answer.

 

_“I was a human, but I die 2 years ago. Cerberus couldn't bring me back so they just transfer my consciousness into this ‘new’ body…”_

 

 _“You were human before?”_ – he asks in disbelief. Shepard was surprised all this information about collectors missing colony and reapers didn’t make him think twice but the fact she was human was?  

 

 _“You have a problem with *_ **that** *” –  she asks angrily part of face becoming blue.

 

_“Nah, the warrior spirit will always manifest, are you sure that you weren’t a Krogan before?”_

_“No… I don’t think so..”_ – she answers surprised. She as a Krogan hell no!

_“Shame you would be great Krogan”_ – he stated with a strange smile.

 

_“Well… what you see is what you get Grunt. Now let’s move out”_

 

 _“He...he...”_ – finally the itch stop and it feels good. Grunt was beyond happy.

 

They move forward taking additional care to kill enemy simultaneously to avoid another surprise. They were able to gather additional information about the ground artillery from one of the workers that managed to hide. Garrus wasn’t sure what scares technician more, Collectors, The Alliance that he blames for attack or the tall female turian. With little time to spare they move out killing enemy right and left. Soon enough they were able to locate the battery and hook up EDI to reset and recalibrate the system. It would take time but Garrus knew they would do it.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

This whole operation was a mess. The colonist didn’t trust Alliance. It was a small colony good for farming with some small mining operations. They tried really hard to stay away from The Alliance as an ‘Independent movement’ they call themselves. It was no brainer that when he and small garrison came they were less than happy to greet it. It is supposed to be a quick installation mission go in go out as Hackett call it. But of course, the new canons were one big problem. They weren’t able to fire them once! So Alliance and the settlers were on edge form the past few weeks and Kaidan have a suspicion that there was a rat slowing project down. Thankfully until today there we no attack until they pick up a strange signal. Then all shit goes loose. The second they lost communication the strange ship landed on top of the colony. He was ready to gather the troops to fight back when he notices something in the distance. The brown clouds made of insect! The moment it touches someone it paralyzes him! Kaidan knew that there is no way to win with the full frontal attack. He orders the full retreat to the closes bunkers sealing as many people as they could inside but knowing full well that others will be abducted. They were trying to call for any support but there were unable to do so, they could only watch with horror what was happening outside.

 

After another hour Kaidan gets a call, another ship was entering the atmosphere. More like a small shuttle with Cerberus logo. And how on earth the Cerberus get involved in this? Kaidan was puzzled. The ground team was something he never would expect, two turians one of them were barefaced the second one looks strangely familiar, krogan and human. He knew that  Cerberus become more and more active for the past few years but this was something new. There were also some strange rumors they bristled the hair on his neck, apparently, they were able to locate the body of Commander Shepard something Alliance wasn’t able to do. Not only that, but according to others intel they try to resurrect her but in the body of a turian! He was disgust when he hears them 1st time.

 

He watches group closely, with another camera he could see them much better. His heart stops a bit when he recognizes Garrus. What was he doing here?! Not long after the news about Shepard death and her funeral he disappears from the radar. And that black toned guy? Kaidan was almost certain he has a history with The Alliance. What was his surprise when female turian takes a lead. Her movement so similar, to dead Commander Shepard but that was impossible! He watches them closely, for some reason the swarm ignores them? Aren't they working together? Some reports suggest that Cerberus was behind the missing colony. If so why this team was killing the attackers? Did they go, rogue? But how would Cerberus even know about the attack? There were so many questions.

 

He watches her closely, without a doubt she commands her team just like Shepard would do. And there was Garrus. Kaidan remembers that turian really respect Commander back on the first Normandy and probably wouldn’t follow anyone else. So what he was doing with Cerberus with this female turian as a leader?  So much question, then it happened. The team was surrounded by a larger group of the enemy when the duo pulls off combine attack identical to the one he saw in the past when they were fighting Saren. Somehow the female turian was fighting just like Shepard. So the rumors were true? There was only one expiation to that ‘banned brainwave operation’. But Kaidan never heard that someone would survive it. The ground team was able to reach artillery but it was useless they wouldn’t be able to use it. It was all for nothing.

 

Kaidan pales when after less than 5 minutes guns starting to fire forcing the enemy ship to run away. How? How it was possible! The engineers that put this together couldn’t figure out the problem. But Cerberus team just show up out of nowhere kill all enemy and just like that switch on the guns? They must be somehow connected to all this. After the coast is clear Kaidan move out to meet the Cerberus ground team. He was close enough to hear their conversation. Kaidan still finds hard to believe that female turian was somehow Shepard, it’s all too much for him.

 

 _“There's no reason to stay. At least half of the colonist are on board. They got what they came for”_ – yea it was Garrus Kaidan sigh, still behind cover.

 

 _“I didn't want it to end this way.  I did what I could.”_ – it’s a first time when he clearly hears the female turian speaking he can sense sadness in her voice.  

 

 _“It was a good fight, Shepard”_ – Kaiden hears it clearly, why would krogan call that name to her. It’s too much he move from his spot to face them ready and confident.

 

 _“I’m Kai….”_ – he ties but it all die in an instant when he looks in her eyes. Those jade color eyes that he would never forget. He knew it was imposable, but all senses were screaming that she was indeed Commander Shepard!

 

 _“Kai… Kaidan…It’s me…_ **Shepard** _”_ – he hears her whisper.

 

 _“Commander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy die two years ago. She was first human Spectre”_ – he said harshly looking at her. He wants to believe her, he wants to shake he hands but there is something that stops him.  

 

 _“Cerberus brought me back to stoop attack like this”_ – she tries to reason with him. Feeling pain in the chest like someone stabs her.

 

 _“So the Cerberus is behind….”_ – she feels a shiver, no one ever looks at her like Kaidan did know – _“monstrosity….”_ – He could think of anything else. To see great Commander change into different species. It was disgusting.

 

 _“The real Shepard would never work with the Cerberus”_ – he looks at her. Kaidan remembers how old Commander reacts to that organization in the past.

 

 _“And Garrus…_ _I can't believe the reports and rumors were right”_

 

 _“Our colonies are disappearing. The Alliance turns its back on them. Cerberus is the only group willing to do something about it”_ – she tried to reason with him.

 

 _“Do they Shepard…”_ – he almost shouts at her.

  

_“How did you know that we were under attack? How you are able to defend from the insect clouds? And how on earth you were able to activate guns with less then 5 minutes? Do you even have a free will, Shepard? The technology they used should kill you!”_

She was stunned by his outburst but more mostly she was hurt. Shepard really hope that Kaidan of all people would understand. Before she could come to any conclusion or answer any of his questions he speaks again, she finds difficult to breath the pain in her chest was rising.

 

 _“Come with me…Shepard…”_ – he simply stated.

 

_“Wha…What?”_

_“Come with me I will take you to the Alliance. They… maybe, they figure out a way to help you...”_

She couldn’t believe it. She was trying to process his last word when Garrus step up front her. 

 

 _“You are insane Kaidan. And what would Alliance do with her? The Collectors are targeting human colonies. And they’re working with the Reapers!_ _You're so focused_ _on Cerberus that you're ignoring the real threat. The alliance never believe Shepard, what do you think they do now”!_ – he asks coldly watching Kaidan back.

 

“I still know where real loyalties lie. Am an Alliance soldier. Always will be. A leopard can't change its spots. Cerberus can't be trusted. So their twisted experiment.” – Jane can’t stop ***whine* ** coming from her sub-vocals.

 

 _“Shepard dies saving her crew on the Normandy over Alchera" -_  Kaidan start while slowly turning his back on them. Jane wants to stop him but could, for the first time in her life she was petrified. Kaidan last time look at her.

" _And it should stay that way"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> I must change a few fings and I was never a fan of how game show what happened to Kaidan. He was one of the first to get stung but survived? So I need to find a way around it.


	16. I will always have your six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter mark as M and NSFW

It was quiet. There is tension in the air, anyone could feel it when the ground team returns from the mission. The crew was cheering some were finally convinced that the female turian was a real Shepard and they will be able to stop Collectors and this was a just 1st step. But something was not right. Commander wasn’t happy, more than that she looks deeply sad for some reason. More question starts to pop up when she goes back form the talk with Illusive Man and didn’t answer any question or get any reply like her mind was somewhere else. Paretia was a concern, for what she read and see there were few things that would shake Commander. She wants to prepare some special treat for Shepard and Garrus to create an opportunity for him, but she just passes her not stopping for a moment. Paretia catches a clear * **whine** * coming from commander while she enters the elevator still with her armor. It was clear that something really bad happened on the mission and with the current stress level that Commander has it could be a catastrophe.

 

Garrus was angry. He was so close to punching Kaidan on the Horizon, the only thing that stops him was Shepard presence and her sad reaction to his harsh words. He couldn’t understand Kaidan reaction to Shepard. He never thought of him as a racist person it was Ash domain but the way he looks at her, it was worse than any of her comments. He sounds like she chooses her new life! Garrus remember that Shepard mentions that she and Kaidan were a friend for a long time. Fight many battles together even before he joins them and he was certain that Kaidan wishes they could be more than a just close friend.  So why this harsh words? He was thinking how will Commander cope with that treason, it probably just as painful or more when he was betrayed by Sidonis. It was hard for him to cope with that betrayal, turians don’t have a tendency to stab you in the back. They have a really strong family and pack instinct. When all of his team was killed it was more than mental pain. So how would Shepard feel if someone almost like a brother to her turn his back? Garrus heart skips a beat. He remembers a talk he heard that Mordin has with Chakwas regarding Shepard health, that now her main enemy is her own mind and emotion. If unchecked it could kill her! He must check on her! Moving out from the main battery he didn’t even spot a figure lurking in the corner.

 

*So he isn’t so insensitive as I thought he is* Paretia though looking at Garrus.    

  

Why…why the pain won't go away? Jane feels numb and sick even warm water hitting her plates could help. The event after the mission was blurred like she wasn’t even moving her body anymore. Shepard moves on autopilot, barely remembers her talk with Illusive Man something about *great work* *collectors will be more careful now* *you and your team must be prepared* but she didn’t care anymore. What was she really? For the 1st time in her life, she feels alone and betrayed.  Every time she closes her yes Jane sees the Kaidan face no one ever look at her like he did. His harsh word still echoes _*And it should stay that_ way _*_ in her head. Jane feel weak and defeated emotionally, time and time again she tries to summon her strength, but she couldn’t. She felt truly alone, without anyone she could call a family. There was no answer Anderson and one person Shepard truly believe was her brother left her. Jane wishes she could cry to help her with the pain but she quickly discovers that turians don’t cry. She was trapped in her own body the only sound was water and * **whine** * coming from her sub-vocals but it didn’t help. She didn’t even notice when water become cold her knees weakened. Her eyes closed and she sank on the shower floor. Darkness embraced her. Jane was drifting into the void unable to hear see or feel. There were only her memory and herself. What is she? What is her reason to fight? Was she a human a turian a freak experiment? Has she had free will anymore? Why should she keep fighting? She slowly drifted away into the darkness.

 

Then she feels it, a small pulse near her chest a wave of heat hit her, **Jane…** somebody called out her.

 

The moment when Garrus enter Commander quarters he knew that something was wrong. There were no sins of Shepard in bed, he spots her armor and weapon toss around. He hears a shower running with hesitation he moves closer to the door.

 

 _“Shepard are you there?”_ – he asks through the door, only running water answer him, opening the door he slowly peeks inside.

 

 _“Shepard!”_ – he shouts looking at her lying form, cold water still running over her.

 

He quickly moves over her and turning off the shower, he felt shivers when he touches her to check her pulse, her whole body was cold as metal. From his reading her body temperature drop to a dangerous level he must raise it. Moving her to bed he found few towels, and start to dry her up. It would be much easier with sonic dryer but there is no time to look for it. While drying her Garrus feel that her body shivers from the cold, he must find a way to raise her body temperature before she goes into shock. He notices that even her room doesn’t have standard turian temperature.   

 

 _“EDI you must rise temperature”_ – Garrus said, wondering how they miss that Shepard need a higher temperature to sustain her high metabolism with her new turian body

 

“ _It will take some time Vakarian to stabilize it, should I inform Dr. Chakwas_ ”

 

“ _It will be all EDI_ ” – he interrupts her

 

“ _Logging you out Vakarian_ ”

 

There is no time for that. Even if he uses many blankets it could take too much time and she could not fully recover.  There is one more way to raise her body temperature but this way is wrong to even consider! He looks at the naked form of Commander still fighting if he should do it, then he hears it a * **whine** * coming from her. He knew now and then what must be done, Garrus quickly took his under armor off leaving only shorts on. Moving them into the bed he held her tightly then cover them both with additional blankets. Holding her close to his chest he feels her cold body still shiver. Garrus take a deep breath and then his own body start to vibrate, his sub-vocals start to ***purr*** , ***chirr*** and ***growl*** creating a low melody. He is able to higher his own body temperature and each time he inhales or exhales it create a small heat wave that transfers heat to her by chest plates. Garrus slowly move her head to his cowl gently stroking her mandible hoping that she will understand that she will not hate him. No longer shivering from cold her body was looking for heart source clutching even tighter to him. They were both tangled together her breath finally become stable. Garrus look at her lying form it was 1 st time when he sees Commander so… vulnerable the lack of heat and stress catch up with her. He starts to wonder how many times she has suffered and endured that kind of situation alone. She always seems so strong so undefeated like there was nothing that could break her but sometimes he could see through her fake smile, her voice, and sad eyes. In that regard, she was so close to turian standards. Proud soldiers, mission 1st, platoon 1st doing what has to be done. It was just expected and Shepard time and time again did impossible risking her own life expecting nothing in return. He intensifies his effort to help her, her quarters were filled with his sub-vocals, still slowly stroking her he whispers

 

 _“_ **_ Jane… _ ** _go back to me…”_

There was something strange in the air. She feels great, wonderful heat source close to her. Her consciousness was slowly returning. Jane still feels dizzy taking a deep breath she senses nice metallic smell it makes her feel secure. Then she registers blanked on her and a soft mattress – she is in the bed. Then she feels it. Another pulse of heat coming to her chest

 

*what was the second heat source* - her brain start to run faster.

 

Then she hears it a mix of sounds that seems to wrap her up then she understands. It was Garrus! Holding her tightly but why is he so hot? What were this strange pulse of heat coming from him and that strange sound? Was he humming for her? There were so many questions and she didn’t know how where to start. Her eyes were still close she could feel his hand carefully touch her face and his heat surrounded her. But then she realizes something. She is naked so, is he! Well mostly naked, their body was practically glued to each other, one of her hand wrapped around his torso another lie on his arm. He still didn’t notice that she was awake and it was probably a good thing considering their current position. She was thinking how to start talking with him when the memories from Horizon come back. Kaidan expression his harsh words hurt her more than anything else in her life and she starts to doubtful again. Is this reality or just a dream? She didn’t want to wake up!

 

 _“_ **Jane…?** ” – she hears Garrus whisper. Only now noticing that her breath become irregular and her hand grip hard on his shoulder. His humming stops so as his purring and she feels that his hold on her change.

 

 _“_ **Jane… I…”** – Garrus was ready to beg her for forgives, he crossed so many lines, he feels her body tense so he expects anything when she stops him.

 

 _“What am I Garrus…”_ – she asks quietly – _“Why did you follow me? What we are fighting for? I’m no longer human, no longer alliance… I have nothing… I am nothing… I’m just… just sick Cerberus experi…”_

**_“_ Jane!... _”_**  - Garrus will allow her to doubt herself – _“Jane… were are all more than bone and flesh, your spirit your ‘soul’ lives on”_ – he hears her taking a sharp breath

 

 _“What… what do you mean… Cerberus change me… No one recognizes me as Commander Shepard anymore… they..”_ – she said slowly still too afraid to look at him. Too afraid that he also look at her with disgust. Too afraid to move so she would wake up alone on the barroom floor. She feels his hand on her chin slowly guiding her to meet his eyes, but she is too afraid to open them.

 

 _“_ **Jane…** _please look at me” –_ Garrus beg her. It’s hard, it feels like an eternity but finally, she obliges. Her heart skips a beat, his blue eyes looking at her without hatred but with sensitiveness. He moves his hand from her chin to her right mandible stroking her lightly, his eyes looking directly at her. Jane feels like Garrus was looking beyond her turian body, looking at something deep inside her.  

 

 _“They never try to see true_ **You.** _A caring person, that never judge by the look only by person action. Your help quarian, humans, Krogans with their lives expecting nothing in return. Trying to smile even in the face of Armageddon, never giving up hope. Guiding me through my time of self-doubt. And now…”_ – he said taking a deep breath – _“And now… Nothing change. You are still the same good person with a good heart that always tries to help others the same grace on the battlefield. The same will to fight where others don’t save humans and other races if they like it or not. After all, you always do things that are right not an easy one ”_

_“No matter what. I’m always at your six **Shepard** ” _

All her sad emotion disappear in one moment. The pain vanishes leaving Jane with a strange feeling like someone was ignited a small fire in her. It will take time to grow but now she is certain that with Garrus help she will survive. That if she needs a reason to fight she only need one.  

 

 _“Thank you…_ **Garrus** ” – she said quietly burring her face in his neck. Her body emits a long * **purr** * and with second, she was out sleeping without any nightmares. 

 

Garrus was surprised by her sudden slumber but was glad that he was able to help her. He knew that Shepard will need more than just a talk with him and Garrus will do anything to help her. Now her sleeping body gives him a good sign that it could go with the right direction. Her body stops shaking, grip on his arm relax Jane was * **purring** * and most importantly her temperature rise to save level. It was clear to him that she will have a good night sleep. But one question remains, what he supposed to do now? Currently, it was impossible for him to move away from Shepard without waking her. The way they body tangled would require her to move 1st to free him. It didn’t take long until his own body reacts and start to make the sound of its own. Well, she didn’t freak out, and he still needs a sleep so taking a deep breath he allows himself to fall asleep hoping that for better tomorrow for both of them.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jane wake up slowly the air was filled with a metallic scent she clearly hears Garrus slow breath and feels his body wrap around her naked form or it was another way around? She slowly moves up from his cowl and chest. The memory of yesterday night and mission were still fresh they sting but when Jane looks at Garrus they faded away. A small fire that Garrus ignite within her was still burning, small but strong enough to give her hope. It was early she still has time to talk to him about the evening and what exactly happened but now, she was focused on Garrus sleeping form. It did not escape her attention that she has a full view on his bare torso. They still were still mostly under blankets but it was 1st time when Jane has a chance to look at Garrus without a visor and most import when he was asleep. He looks so peaceful he wants to touch him and out of instinct she moves her hand to the top of his head and touch his crest and slowly move up to his fringe gently stroking him. Her mind was screaming *this is so wrong! he is your friend! You will screw up your friendship!* - before she could stop herself Garrus open his eyes.

 

 _“Hey there…”_ – she screws up!   

 

Garrus wake up the moment when Shepard did. In turian military see someone naked wasn’t big of a deal of course if there was no emotion involved or rank problem within the unit. He uses all his focus and self-control to appear that he was still asleep to make her comfortable. Garrus knew that nudity was big deal to humans so he hatches a plan. A simple one: wait until Shepard leaves to take a shower then moves out quickly dress and wait outside her cabin or something to give the privacy she needs. Then if she wants they could talk.  It all started well she raises herself and he was ready for phase 2 when Garrus feel her touch. He was paralyzed by it, then he feels she move upward toward his fringe! *Not good not good! Not there Shepard!* Think about anything! Calibration!* It didn’t work! He must end it quickly before his body will start to do its own things!*    

 

 _“Hey there…”_ – he starts suddenly looking at her, his 1st mistake. He clearly can see her naked form over him. Her small crown and the short fringe are just perfect for his taste. Her light greyscale nicely contrasts with her black hide, her green eyes her gate to her soul,  2nd mistake, while taking a breath to say something he inhales Shepard scent and it was too much.

 

The room was filled with loud * **purr** * coming from him.  

 

Her body reacts instantly starting to change color from black to dark blue a low * **buzzing** * noise come from her before Jane could even comprehend what was happening. 

 

Only now she understands her mistake, but it was too late to reverse what she has done. Quickly pulling sheet ups to cover herself she turns away from him. Feeling totally like a jackass making it more awarded then before. Jane wasn't surprised when she felt him move behind her back away from her.

They both were sitting on the edge of the bed thinking, trying to find a way to break the silence.

_“You should take a Shower Shepard... I promise I won't peak” –_ he starts slowly hoping that it will give him time to leave her quarters and move this conversation but she will have none of that!

 

 _“Yea… Thank, but please be here when I finish. We need to talk. Ok, Garrus?”_ _-_ Jane said trying to sound convincing. Hearing his shaky approval, she quickly moves to take shower. Only when she felt water hitting her she notices heat coming from her core, her heartbeat quickie fallow by shallow breath. Jane body was still under the effect of their encounter *he is right there, waiting for you* - vice whisper in her head. Shepard tries to calm herself push that thought away. Now she must make sure that her friendship with Garrus will stay mostly intact.

 

She ends up her shower dressed in sweatpants and lose hoodie steps from the shower. To her surprise, he notices that bed was made and thankfully Garrus partly dress was waiting for her sitting on the sofa.

 

“ _If you like you could use my shower. We still have time” –_ Garrus thanks her and move to the shower to cool him down a bit. Even when he left his scent still lingered in the air. It was long 10 minutes her mind drifted to many different places and fact that she was able to hear Garrus in the shower didn't help at all. Finally, he emerges from the shower and sits across the table looking at her. Jane knew that look, Garrus was ashamed for some reason but she didn't really know why. Looking back what happened to her it was clear that without his help her situation could be so much worse. She feels happiness knowing that there is someone that cares about her. After all, no one ever shows up to look after her when her entire life. It was new for her, so why his sad look?

 

She still didn't know how to bring the topic of their 'time together' when Garrus spoke quietly - “ _I'm sorry Commander” -_ Jane didn't miss on his formal tone - _”You have all rights to be angry at me”_

 

“ _What do you mean Garrus”_

 

“ _What I did yesterday was unprofessional. It could be considered very intimate act in turian culture. You are my commanding officer my friend and I....”_

 

“ _There is nothing wrong with helping your friend Garrus! If I know that trick and you would need it I would do it. Just like you” -_ she interrupts him - “ _And to be honest with you... Without it, without your talk… it could end up badly” –_ Jane ended quietly moving closer to him.

_She can't be serious Garrus_ he thought - _“So… you are not mad”_

 

“ _On the contrary” -_ she was right beside him.

 

Garrus was stunned when Jane move to his left mandible and kiss him softly, human style.

“ _Thank you Garrus” -_ she spoke quietly moving away from his - _”Let’s go, Paretia_ _probably is waiting with breakfast ready”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad all of you like my story. I hope you love new addition and next chapter that come.  
> Thanks for all likes and comments.


	17. The choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience. I hope you will enjoy.

 

 _"We are approaching Citadel Commander”_ – Joker announces to Shepard that stood behind him in the cockpit – _“I hope you know what you’re doing”_ – Joker adds quietly.

 

The past few days were strange for Garrus. After their little cuddling time and few slow days when they gather restores Garrus notice that something was wrong. Jane becomes more absent, constantly deep in thoughts his and nothing could change that he was puzzled. It was something he did? Or Kaidan betrayal was more than she could handle?  It all becomes clear after dinner. They learn from that they are headed to Citadel. The crew was surprised, Miranda was even trying to convince her that it wasn’t a good idea. After all, Cerberus wasn’t in good terms with the Council. Only when Shepard remind them that Citadel was the only place they could get Garrus Thanix Cannons and install Jacob Heavy Ship Armor in one go they stop arguing.

 

“And we really should pick up that thief you talk about Miranda. And what about other’s dossier? – Shepard asks looking at her.

 

_“I’m still working on them”_

_“Make sure they will be ready when we leave Citadel” –_ Jane said ending her meal and head towards her cabin.

 

Garrus knew better, there was something more to her strange behavior. He was able to follow her unnoticed and found her leaning against the wall her arms around her torso. Again stress was taking over her body *she really needs to work it out of her system*.

 

 _“Hey…”_ – he starts closing distance holding her shoulders to make sure she won’t escape him. Garrus feel her tension under his hand but Jane didn’t try to run away and his hands were starting to do it’s magic on her – _“So… what’s bothering you”_ –  there was silence and Garrus was worried, maybe he shouldn’t ask so directly? – _“Well, you don’t want to tell me….”_

 

 _“We could save them Garrus…”_ – she said quietly

 

 _“But we save them. **You ** save them”_ – he wasn’t sure what was that all about. She turns around to meet his eyes, there was something in her look, like self-blame?!

 

_“I should do more… I should go straight to Citadel when I learn about guns from you. We could end it right there and there… We could”_

_“You don’t know **it**!” _ – he said breaking her line, a little **growl** coming from him _– “How could **you** know it? It could end it badly for us if Mordin technology didn’t work or without that cannons on the planet. We were lucky **Jane** ”_ – he ends, up moving right hand to her face, stroking her gently –

_“Now it’s a great time to prepared and arm to the teeth I will get that cannon, and there will be no next time for the collectors”_

_“Thanks, Garrus…”_ – she whispers resting her head on his hand.

They both stood like that for a moment both Shepard feeling a little better knowing that she really have someone that she could share her problems with. *It was nice to have someone like Garrus*

_“Soo… you are up for some sparing Shepard?”_ – Garrus ask. She looks at him, yea he could read her easily. Jane feels stress was building up but she wasn’t in the mood for sparing session. But his proposition gives her an idea of how to make Garrus more open to learning if he is interested in something more than just a friendship.

 

_“I’m not into the sparing session Garrus”_

 

 _“Well, it would really help you out. You know that”_ – he starts, knowing where it would lead she interrupted him

 

 _“Oh… I have a better idea”_ – she said looking at him with a mischievous smirk. Her smile widened when she saw his reactions

 

 _“And what idea is that?”_ – Garrus asks feeling a sudden urge to run away. She looks at him with almost primal hunger freezing him in place. 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Shepard was laughing and laughing hard, Garrus just end up another story from his early years at C-cec when he and his buddy tries to catch a thief but instead, they arrest a candy seller. They were sitting in the observation deck empty bottles were on the table and floor. Jane somehow manages to trick Garrus while drinking so now he was really drunk make him more open, more relaxed. Between their stories, Garrus sometimes touch her knee or brush against her always looking at her eyes but always stop after a brief moment. After another story about Jane unsuccessful attempt to bed an asari when she was half drunk after hard mission for the N5 program she looks at him and saw something else in his eyes. They were focused on her with an almost primal vibe to it, Jane feels that her temperature rise taking another shot of cheap turian brandy that they found she ask him – _“Garrus what’s is with **You** and all that sparing?” _

 

 _“If **you** must know. Turian ships have more operational discipline than Alliance, but fewer personal restrictions._ _Turian ships have training rooms for exercise, combat sims, even full-contact sparring. Whatever lets people work off stress. Cerberus tries and for **you** and me it is enough” _

_“You mean turian ships have crewmen fighting each other before a mission?”_ – *that’s something new* she thought.

 

 _“It's supervised, of course. Nobody is going to risk an injury and it's a good way to settle grudges amicably” –_ Jane notice that his expression change like he was remembering something.

 

 _“I see another good story ahead of us”_ – she teases him

 

_“I remember right before one mission we were about to hit a batarian pirate squad. Very risky. This recon scout and I had been at each other's throats. Nerves, mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring”_

_“I assume you took her down gently? I know your style Garrus”_ – she wasn’t sure where this would lead but she with her current state she didn’t care.

 

 _“Actually, she and I were the top-ranked hand to hand specialist on the ship. I had reached, but she had flexibility. It was brutal. After nine rounds, the judge calls it a draw. There were a lot of unhappy betters in the training room”_ – Garrus smiles his eyes unfocused – “ _We, ah, ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reached, but she had flexibility” –_ he end it looking at her, only then Garrus notice her look *What did I just say* - his brain works so slowly

 

 _“More than one way to work off stress.”_ – Garrus said trying to defuse a strange silence, her expression change suddenly, part of her slowly turn a nice shade of blue.

_“From what I recall there is a tie between us… so according to you, we should move to the tiebreaker?”_ – Jane said before she could stop herself

 

Garrus almost swallow his tongue, he didn’t hear right, did he? It’s all fuzzy. Alcohol makes him remember all things he did to her all in a bad light  –  _“I… I Couldn’t do it, **Jane** …” _– he said slowly looking down *why did he drink so much?* 

 

 _“And… why is that… We are both stressed out…” –_ Shepard didn’t expect that kind of answer. Is there something wrong with her? Or maybe she isn’t his type…

 

 _“Because… because I care about you **Jane** ” –_ Garrus whisper looking at her a clear **whine** escape from his subvocal making her shiver – _“And… I feel ashamed of myself…”_ – *what is he talking about?* – _“I have taken advantage of your lack of knowledge of how turian body work, how we use our sub-vocals and sent to show our feelings and emotion and interest. You didn’t understand it but your body was… And for that I’m really sorry **Jane** ” _– there was quiet. He tries to look at her but his vision was blurry now and he wasn’t even sure if she says anything but if he doesn’t move now he will collapse on the floor.

_“I… I should go…” –_ he said trying to get up losing his balance. His fall was stopped by Jane who was manage to grab him last second.    

 

 _“Thanks… I think I drink too much” –_ Garrus said trying to collect himself

 

 _“Don’t mention it. And Garrus…I don’t feel like you took advantage of me. After all, we need each other”_ – Jane said quietly looking at him.

 

 _“yea…”_ – it was only response she gets from him.

_++++++++++++++++++++++++_

Jane closes the door to the main battery feeling strange. She manages to put Garrus in his bunk without a problem making sure he was as comfortable as he could be. He was out the moment the moment his head touch pillow. Jane watches him for a moment not knowing what to do with only when she was in her bed Jane came to the conclusion that she needs more answer and probably Mordin could help her if not she could always try to talk with Paretia. But it will have to wait, tomorrow they will be docking Citadel and with no response from Anderson, she was to concern.

_++++++++++++++++++++++++_

It wasn’t the best wake up, Garrus cursed after a shower and fast breakfast he wants to talk with Commander about last night. His last memory was just before a story about his work at C-cec and he feels obliged to apologize to her if he did something wrong. But Jane didn't appear not until the last minute so he will need to wait. Garrus with Miranda would take care of buying a new cannon, Jakob will look out for dock when they could install new armor plating. Shepard and Grunt would take some food supplies and find Kasumi Goto, Joker with EDI will monitor Citadels channels to make sure that Normandy would not be under lockdown.

 

The Citadel has changed a bit but Garrus warned her that it was mostly for show. Shepard quickly learn that it was more cosmetic than anything else. The mentally still was the same the “Geth” were responsible for the attack 2 years ago and Saren was just a maniac that wants power. She was ready to move through the checkpoint when one of the holograms glitches out.

 

 _“Please tell me your password, Commander Shepard”_ – a face cover with robes welcome her.

 

*What the hell?* - Shepard thought looking around for the person who hacks hologram. Unable to locate her she decides to just roll with it – _“Silence is golden”_

 

 _“Good to finally meet you, Commander Shepard. Kasumi Goto, I'm a fan”_ – Jane changes her pose to more serious *yea… a fan…*

 

 _“What's with the password and the sneaking around? Are you in trouble or something?”_ – Shepard didn’t like the fact that she was staring at the hologram.

 

_“I'm the best theft in the business, not the most famous. Need to watch my step to keep it that way. I also need to make sure all this was legit. And have no doubts you're the real Commander Shepard inside that turian body._

 

 _“What’s making you so sure”_ – Jane doubt that Kasumi just looks at random turian and figure out that she is Commander.

 

 _"There's a certain... aura about you. Like you've seen things no one else has. Even without knowing what you look like, I knew it was you. And I must say the black and gray greatly contrast with your green”_ – Kasumi wants to make a good impression after all Cerberus was the only way to reclaim graybox. She turns off her cloaking device so Shepard could finally look at her when their eyes meet Kasumi feel shivers traveling on her back.

_“I see that famous ‘Commander stare’ was not a myth. We should probably wrap this up. You look pretty silly standing there talking to an advertisement. And it seems like you have your own task.  We talk about details later. See you on the ship Shepard”_

Shepard sigh it will be a long day, she still has a question but for now, it is all that she got after all the thief wait long enough for them to show up in the Citadel. Most of the crew passed without a problem, the security guard looks at Garrus for a moment then let him pass. Jane was certain that the system will explode when it check her. But nothing happened a turian barely look at her when spoke

 

 _“All seems fine. Would you mind checking in with my Captain? He wants to speak with you”_ \- *that’s odd* Jane thought looking at Miranda for some answers but she was as much surprised as Commander. They move forward and Jane could hear captain Bailey – _“You'll have to make him scream a little. He's not going to tell you everything…”_ – he stops the moment he spots them – _“My my…”_ – he whispers. Not knowing what to expect Shepard move forward

 

 _“Let’s get over with this... Your sergeant said you want to see me”_ – Jane starts trying to sound and look confident.

 

Bailey looks at her and the result of the scan, it didn’t lie, her body was based on dead Commander DNA. He didn’t like it but orders were orders – _*They really did it* –_ he thought looking at her. So the rumors were true after all, he didn’t want to believe them but The Great Commander stood before him trapped in turian body.   

_“Commander please head to the Presidium. Anderson sends an invitation just for you The Council would like to meet with you”_ – he said slowly looking at her reaction.

 

 _“Well, that’s unexpected. And what about my… status?”_ – she asks not knowing what to think about it. Why Anderson didn’t contact her sooner? Was Anderson message was stopped by Cerberus? Jane looks at Miranda for answers.

 

 _“We didn’t lock any communication from or for you Commander” –_ she answers for the unspoken question.

 

_“It’s still processed, Commander. It looks like you will have to talk with the Council about it”_

 

With that last information, they move out. Garrus insist that Shepard should take someone with her but she said clearly that if Council wants to talk with her alone she will talk with them alone Grunt will wait for her on the ship the rest of the group should focus on their task.

 

_++++++++++++++++++++++++_

 

Anderson was pacing back and forth in his office, he just receives information that Shepard did meet with Bailey and was headed straight to his office. Each of the councilors was sitting in his own chair awaiting commander arrival. He really wishes he could meet with her in person alone but for some reason, Spartacus push forward the idea that they all should meet her at once. The scan didn’t lie, her body was created specially so the brainwave operation could be successful but still, the idea of transfer human consciousness to turian body seem terrified to him. Anderson could hear Valern brain working hard Tevos looks like she was made in stone, Anderson never could really read Asari but Sparatus seems more relaxed then Anderson! He swears that for a moment he spotted a grim smile on turian face. After Shepard sends a message the rest of the Council decided they would hear her out but forbid him any contact with her, to make sure that Commander is acting on her own will and again Sparatus was more than happy to push the idea. It gives Anderson no opportunity to talk to her and he didn’t like it. It was then when he decided that no matter how Shepard will look, he will accept her no matter what. Just like he accept her that long time ago.  The door open and he saw a  tall female turian. She was taller than him looking more exotic then other turian he meets. Grey plates and black hide only bring out her red ended short fringe. And behind her green eyes was his Shepard. They both stare at each other, Anderson really wants to tell something but couldn’t.   

 

 _“Ahh Commander, we are glad you accept our invitation. Please take a set” –_ it was Sparatus who break the silence. He said showing her a seat. After moment Sparatus continue – _“We were just talking about you and…”_

 

 _“We've heard many rumors surrounding your unexpected return. Some of them are... unsetting”_ – it was salarian councilor who interfered in his speech. All focus was on Shepard and to be honest she didn’t really think about what to say to convince them that she is really a Commander so, for now, she was listening.

 

 _“We called this meeting so you could explain is the rumors are true, Shepard. We owe you that much. After all, you saved our lives in the battle against Saren”_ – asari add and Jane noticed that she didn’t mention geth. 

 

So she talks. About what she learns about her operation about Avatar project, what exactly happened the day she dies and what they learn for now. The Council just sit and listen. Jane only notices some look when she mentions that collectors are connected with the Reapers. When she ended her story there was silence in the room each of the councilor looking at her.

 

“I know that what I told could be hard to believe. But I have something more than my word to back it up” - Jane add giving them a data pad that contains information about Horizon.

 

 _“Thank you for sharing this information with us Commander it doesn’t look good. We will have to make our own investigation. I hope you understand our concern...”_ \- Asari councilor starts

_“I kept Saren from conquering the Citadel. I sacrificed human lives to save you all. All I want is to stop Collectors from abduction another human colony. After that my work with Cerberus is done” -_ Jane said noticing feeling that she becomes annoyed with them, just like old time.

 

 _“_ _We are in a difficult position, Shepard. You are working with Cerberus - an avowed enemy of the Council. Somehow survived the impossible operation and your action already making noise. We are worried that Cerberus could try to use the name of the Shepard to gain followers and power and try to use you”_ – Asari stated

 

 _“This is too far. Shepard is a hero. I'm on this Council, too, and I won't let this whitewash continue”_ – It was Anderson who enters the stage. He will not let her fight alone _– “It’s not Shepard fault that she brought the way she was. She is a fine soldier, loyal to the Council, she is…”_

_“There is a compromise. Not a public acknowledgment, given your ties, but something to show peripheral support” –_ it was Sparatus calm voice that interrupted Anderson. The turian councilor looks around the assembly and was pleased with each reaction especially a human one. This day will be his small victory over humans they lost their chance to win her back.

 

 _“Shepard, if you keep a low profile and restrict your operation to the Terminus System, the Council is willing to offer you reinstatement as a Spectre”_  - he said slowly looking at her reaction. Sparatus must give it to Shepard she really tries to look calm but he a long-term politician can read her easily, it’s another evidence that human is a trap inside a turian body.

 

 _“Reinstatement?”_  - she asks slowly looking at Sparatus trying to read him.

 

 _“This is a show of good faith on our part”_ \- salarian councilor said but looking at Sparatus *what are you planning old scammer?* 

_“We cannot become involved in an investigation regarding the missing colonies in the Terminus System. But Spectre reinstatement shows our support of you personally”_ – Asari continue unmoved by the staring contest between turian and salarian.

 

Jane look at Anderson, he nods to give her strength, she really wishes that Council would do more… but even if they don't help she might as well stay on good terms.

 

 _“I accept your offer. It's good to have the Council on my side”_  - Jane stated, feeling a big weight was removed from her back at least they will not bother her.

 

 _“Good luck with your investigation, Shepard. We hope for a quick resolution... and a quick end to your relationship with Cerberus”_ – Asari said ending the meeting.

The rest of the council already leave, only Sparatus was present in chambers when he spoke – _“I almost forget. Please visit Orinia our Turian Ambassador to help you with some papers to change your status”_ – with that he left them alone.

*Finally* Jane though taking a deep breath focus on Anderson only now noticing that he move closer to her and after a brief moment he hugs her. She was shocked first then realized that she really craved a positive response from him so she returns the gesture.

 

 _“I can’t even imagine how hard all of this is for you Jane”_ – It was the same tone she remembers. She never allows herself to show that she was hurt but Anderson somehow could always figure her out. In that few moments, he always talks to her, not as warden but some closer almost like a father. After a moment he moved away studying her face his hand move to pat her head – _“well I must say Shepard now you really have to take care of your teeth” –_ both of them chuckle, after all, she hated brushing. They made small talk about him and his work Shepard was glad that council has some like Anderson but still his voice was not enough in bigger cases. He also apologizes for lack of contact but when Shepard learns that rest of the council force it, she was not angry.

 

 _“So Anderson, you have any idea about a strange request from Sparatus?” -_  Jane asks before leaving making sure to trade a contact information with him to stay in touch.

 

 _“Well… You are a turian now Shepard, so you will need to fill a turian customs. Unfortunately, it’s something that I couldn’t stop from happening. I really want you as a part of  The Alliance._ ”

_“Well… was Udina involved in this?”_ – another reason to hate this prick.

 

 _“More or less…”_ – Anderson sigh, he wants to keep her safe and for now, that means away from Alliance – _“Don’t worry Oriania is much better than Sparatus it will be a short trip. And don't worry about the Council or the Alliance. I'll find some way to keep them off your back. Just do me a favor and be careful. You can't trust Cerberus”_

 

++++++++++++++

 

Jane was glad that she could talk with Anderson at least there were more people who didn’t fling when they sow her. In the turian embassy, she declare her business and was escort by the secretary to a nice room full of strange turian furniture. After a moment a female turian come inside, shorter then Shepard with brown plates and hide that look aged but her white colony marks were clearly visible. She bows to Jane so she returns the gesture *better learn when you can*

 

_“Welcome Commander Shepard, I’m Oriania your Ambassador. I was filled in with your… unusual case please take a set”_

With that introduction, the paperwork began. There were many questions like a place of birth closes relatives so on and so on, but then Oriana asks a question that Shepard didn’t expect.

 

 _“Did you choose pattern and color for your colony markings?"_ – Jane was stunned why should she think of that kind of things?  

 

_“Why should I, 'Im barefaced. I wasn’t born in turian or have any turian connection until now."_

_“Well Commander you see anyone with a Specter status received a Hierarchy citizenship, it’s our law”_ – Oriania simply stated but one look at Commander clearly show that there is more explanation needed

_“Nihlus has the misfortune of not having a clan when he was born. But he never gives up, he fights his way up and when he became a Spectre he was given a choice to accept Hierarchy citizenship. To be a part of the Hierarchy is more than just a clan. It unites us in the dark times when a citizen sees a Spectre with colony markings they know he or she will help them if needed. Unlike Spectre Saren who decide to remove his markings sending a clear message ‘I don’t care about Hierarchy, you are all below me’. Trust me, Shepard, it will be easier if you accept it”_

_“So I have no choice”_ – she didn’t like what she heard. From what she gathered from Garrus and other sources it could be a big deal

 

 _“I would say that obtaining Thanix Cannon would be almost impossible without Hierarchy approval”_ – Oriania said taking few steps towards window holding hands behind her back knowing exactly how Commander will react *now was time to push her on our side* – _“But… Hierarchy wants collectors to be destroyed. Sooner or later they will attack Turian colony, you’re the best bet to destroy them” –_ she said turning to face Shepard. Oriania study her *she was always closer to turian in her action and though than human*   

 

_“So what will you say, **Commander** ”_

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Garrus was angry, very angry. He was sure that his high status in the Hierarchy would make buying Thanix Cannon easier. But after 3 hours with a constant debate with many technician and bureaucrats, he was ready to destroy something. Again the new officers come to hear him out and again story start from the beginning. And again after another, he was sure that they want to drive him insane. 

 

 _“Could you at least tell me why can’t you sell this guns? I'm high enough so my status is not a problem we have all credits and materials you need so what is it”_ – the young turian that now talk with Garrus seems annoyed as much as Garrus was.

 

_“Sir. This buy must be processed by the Hierarchy and there is no acceptance…”_

 

 _“I will be able to change that”_ – female voice comes from behind Garrus.

 

_“Please state your status”_

 

 _“Jane Shepard Turian Navy, Spectre”_ – Garrus wasn’t sure if he hears right. He knew that she has a meeting with the Council but didn’t expect that.

 

_“It’s all seems right we can start the installation” - *what, how* - Garrus was shock_

 

 _“Vakarian is authorized to oversee process”_ – Shepard stated. It was too much for Garrus – _“How **you** …” –_ he starts while turning around to face her only to stop in an instant. 

It was Shepard no doubt about it. Her green eyes look at him, there was something behind them but what mostly shock him was her face. Jane's face was marked by the red colony markings!

 

_“ **Shepard** …”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your support over 60 kudos and 2k views I'm impressed. Until next time


	18. Red paint and green dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, last one in this year. I hope you will enjoy it as always stay tune for more

 

It would take at least 72 hours to install and properly calibrate the Thanix Gun. The crew that wasn’t needed to help Garrus was on shore leave, leaving only a skeleton crew. After Jane come back with supplies they need she locks herself in her cabin. She feels alien again. Her face different, crew looked at her in a strange way but only Miranda was brave enough to ask her about colony markings but Jane simply stated.

 

_“It was a small price to pay for turian cooperation.”_

 

But deep down she knew it wasn’t. Only on the Citadel, Shepard understands the true meaning of clan markings. When headed to turian Embassy others avoid her, some look at her suspiciously other with open hostility with ***hisses*** and ***growling*** coming from **sub-vocals**.

 

Jane didn’t like the idea of taking clan markings; she still didn’t truly understand the weight and duties that they hold. Additionally, she was sure that the Hierarchy offer was not free of charges.  Sooner or later she will have to pay the price, but Jane needed every advantage against Collectors. However, Oriania ensured her that cooperation would earn favors with the Hierarchy, forcing her hand in the deal.

 

Matriarch Valelonia Vitatius was one to guide her through the process, an elderly turian beaming with wisdom. Shepard felt her yellow eyes pierce through her skins and bones, looking directly at her soul examine her, testing her. She explains that usually, the ceremony is meant for a clan to adopt a clanless into their family. In Shepard's case, it was decided that she will become the first of her own clan. Her action will be written into its history for others to judge, Matriarch explain further. 

 

 _“The clan markings are old as Turian civilization itself. Some date back millennia ago, others even more. Each of them represents the history of that family, her status, and her role in the Hierarchy. In time, others will recognize you without the need of the name your mark will tell a story.  If you could, what would you chose to represent you in turian society?”_ Matriarch asks looking at her.

_“If I could choose, I would choose something I respect the most. Something that would remember me of my victories and loses, years of training and sacrifices I’ve made. People I save and lost, the friendships and hostilities that was made on my way here. Even now in this new body, I didn’t forget my training it’s something that defines me and always will be. Something that would resemble N7,”_ Jane explained, pointing Valelonia to the logo on her chest. _“Without that foundations, I wouldn’t survive Elysium countless battles as a Spectre, and in the end, without it, I wouldn’t be able to stop Saren and save Citadel”_

 

 _“You have a strong spirit, Shepard. You have endured more than any of us could and you pushed yourself harder than one should've. You were a beacon of hope before I hope in time you will earn respect you deserve for all you did. Close your eyes and don’t move,”_ Valelonia speaks quietly picking up red paint.

 

Jane feels the touch of the Matriarch's talons as her hands move steadily and slowly across her face. At first, she feels like someone was scraping some part of her face. Then cold paint was applied in simple strokes, granting a ticklish sensation. Shepard feels Valelonia make her way from the right and left the top on her crest to her eyes. Another from the middle of her nose to corner or her cheeks with the continuation on her left and right marble. Then another line from her lowest jaw under her eyes that connect to the one she makes from the muzzle. Valelonia drew another on the end of her mandible and one vertical line or her jaw. The Matriarch end her job by making three dots on her nose and two more above her eyebrows.

 

 _“You are now an official citizen of the Hierarchy, Shepard. The paint will fuse into your faceplates and become permanent”_ – Matriarch said while moving to the terminal – _“The Hierarchy has granted you the rank of commander. Now this gesture is only symbolic, however, your status as a Specter still holds significant weight. I must warn you, Normandy is registered as Cerberus vessel so you should be careful,”_ Valelonia said looking at commander, seemingly lost in thought.

 

 _“Is that all?”_ Shepard ask quietly looking at her reflection.

_“Yes... I could send you some information regards turian culture and additional information if you’re interested. We could also talk more if you like”_

_“Thanks, please send me it to the Normandy. I’m sorry but I still have much to do today,”_ Shepard ackowledged and quickly leaves. To be honest, she didn’t really want to talk with them and she notices that her face again was starting to become blue in some spots.     

 

 _“ **Phm** … typical… That’s why I was against it! **She** may wear the hyde of a turian, but she is still an **outsider**!” _ Valelonia cursed bitterly once Shepard was just out of earshot.

 

 _“ **We** all play our part,” _  Oriania stated raising a hand to calm Matriarch down. _“Besides I have a suspicion that she already have someone to guide her.”_

_“The young **Vakarian** has all but abandoned the traditions of his clan!  **He's** hardly a turian!”_

_“Perhaps. But the part of him that's still turian is all Shepard needs.  With some time, she will understand,”_ with that Oriania was able to prevent another outburst from Valelonia making her speechless for a moment but she quickly recovers from it.

 

_“ **We** will see.”_

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The rest of the day passed quickly too quickly for Jane's liking. She feels strangely lost in her new situation. If being a Specter meant putting on a smile for PR purposes, beening part of Hierarchy made it look like dressing up for a holiday photo. She takes a four count, gradually blending into the crowd. Other turians eventually paid her no attention as she continued with her errands.  Eventually, she bought new supplies for the ship, eat lunch, and made her way towards Garrus to get clearance for the Thanix Gun.

 

It was expected that he was shocked to see her new clan markings. Unfortunately, with little time for discussion, both had to press on, ignore any lingering feelings about her status or each other. But now with clan markings, no one cares about her, only after some time alone with her thoughts Jane realize that maybe that was Hierarchy plan from the start. Perhaps they want to erase her as the first human Specter, gradually assimilate her as just another Turian. After all, she shouldn't be able to exist according to science, so continuing with her life claiming that she was a resurrected Human commander wasn't an option. Now in her own cabin, Jane one more time examining her face and her markings. Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock on her door.

 

 _“It’s Kasumi,_ _Commander do you have a moment?”_ Shepard almost forget about her. But it would be probably a great opportunity to talk to and learn more about the thief.

 

_“Yeah, come in.”_

_“You look good Shep, but I must tell you should've picked green for the clan markings,”_ the thief greeted her while peering curiously around her cabin. There was no malice in her voice more like concern.

 

_“The color of my markings wasn't presented as an option for me.”_

_“Ahh, well nobody is perfect. You have a really nice room but your fish tank is rather empty. I could help you pick up something if you have time. I know the best shop in the Citadel”_ \- Kasumi joke taking a seat beside her.

 

 _“Well maybe later. So… Has Cerberus filled you in on the mission? We didn’t have a chance to talk properly,”_ Jane simply stated sitting beside her.

_“Honestly, I'm shocked they didn't come to see me sooner. I suppose I'm a bit hard to find,”_ Kasumi replied. 

 

 _“So, what brought you to Cerberus?” -_ Jane ask her casually

 

_“They offered me an opportunity I couldn't let up on. And here I am.”_

_“I assume this deal is something I should know about?”_

_“Yeah, I guess it slipped their minds,”_ the thief hummed, any upbeat tone quickly dying out in favor of a more somber pitch. _"I’m looking for my old partner’s greybox. A man named Donovan Hock took it, and I'm planning on getting it back. Speaking of a heist, I’ve taken the liberty of getting you some evening wear, though. You’ll want to look presentable.”_  She draws out and gives Shepard a nice wrap box.

_“Presentable...? For what? I look presentable in my armor and a gun on my waist,”_ Shepard said looking at box feeling a sudden burst of irritation.

 

_“Well, it is your cover-up. Mr. Hock is a well-respected 'businessman.' Arms dealer, murderer, generally not a great guy. He killed and stole my partner greybox. It’s a neural implant. Illegal in most places. Stores memories, thoughts... secret codes, illicit information. My partner stole something he shouldn’t. He warned me it was bad, something that could spark interstellar war if it got out and that information... got him killed.”_

_“I can understand why you want to get it back. But why should I change for a recon mission?”_

_“You would look really out of place at a society party in armor, don't you think?”_

_“Party? What are you planning Kasumi?”_   Shepard looked down again, slowly opening the package.

_“Our friend Hock is throwing a party for his closest friends._ _A couple dozen of the worst liars, cheaters, mass murderers you'll ever want to meet, all bringing gifts as a tribute to the man himself,”_ Kasumi explained with a smirk. _“Our tribute is a lovely statue of your old friend Saren, rendered with loving detail and filled to the brim with our weapons and armor…”_

_“Kasumi, you can’t be serious!”_ Shepard burst out after opening a box to reveal a silky green turian-style dress.

_“I know fancy dress isn't your thing, but it’s only to make sure you will mix with the crowd.  The other guests will be wearing more extravagant clothes, believe me. You should try it, make sure it fits properly.  This is the first time I've bought something for a turian.”_  Shepard could've sworn she saw the thief just biting back a chuckle.

_“Just give me a moment.”_

_“Take all the time you need Shep.”_

The concept was absurd. As a soldier, it had been ages since last time she wore something as formal as this. The turian dress seems a little strange for a moment and Shepard wasn’t entirely sure where to start. But after a moment she figures it out, it was design to wear it directly at her skin and plates with only pants on. After a moment she was able to put it on with last one touch on the highly decorated belt and a long bandana around her neck, she was ready.

 

Kasumi nodded in approval. The dress was long and tight showing the greatly turian body to anyone who could appreciate it. With a low cut on the right side, the commander's leg was nicely visible. The top exposed her strong arms and shoulders with another layer of fabric that covers her carapace and back.

 

 _“You look great. You should wear this stuff more often, especially for your boyfriend,”_ Kasumi winked.

 

 _“ **He** … **he** is not….” _ Shepard stammered to counter her claim. But all she had to do was think about Garrus' reaction if he saw her like that was enough for her imagination to go wild and her neck to become bluish.

 

 _“That’s not the reaction I was expecting. Are you okay Shep?”_ Kasumi asks looking at the color changing turian.

 

 _“Yeah… Just give me a moment and try not to make me more embarrassment,”_ Jane muttered taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. What was happening to her? Her body reacts so instantly by sheer mention of Garrus. After a moment her blue faded away and again her hide become black. Knowing well that Kasumi will need some explanation she quickly changes for some tracksuit pick up the glass and pour some cheap liquor and start her story. Kasumi was admittedly surprised by the Commander's glow. Of course, she heard rumors about the first human Spectre's new physical attributes, but she remained unconvinced until she witnessed it in person. It was a revelation that provided some necessary insight into Cerberus' ethics and their unorthodox means of achieving their goals. Thinking about it was terrifying enough.

 

_“So Kasumi, you know most of what happened to me and my current position.  But please keep the part about color changing to yourself. Apparently, its big deal in turian society.”_

_“Of course, Shepard. Now more on the heist.”_   

 

Once inside they would make their way to Hock's vault door, somewhere in the back of the ballroom. Next, they would need to case the security and start peeling away the layers. The statue should be there waiting for Shepard to crack it open and arm up.

 

 _“Then we just waltz into the vault and take back Keiji's greybox.”_ Kasumi summarizes it up with a smile.

 

 _“Let's hope it all goes according to plan,”_ Shepard nodded, putting down the empty glass. 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Whether the cause, the universe certainly had a poor sense of humor.  The cannons were huge. Garrus and the other technicians aboard the Normandy were barely able to integrate the guns with the ship's frame.  The installation left him completely exhausted.  After quick dinner and shower, he landed face down in his cot, knowing full well that tomorrow he will need to connect them to the central core and test run the guns before any actual use. Next day arrived early for Garrus and some technician, with additional testing they make sure that new guns will not jam so after that Garrus move to the cockpit to make system checking, and integrate a new pair of guns into Normandy system a slow and tedious process

 

 _“So I didn’t see Shepard today,"_ Garrus started, watching with irritation as another set of errors shows up during the next test.

 

 _“Yeah, I think she said something about going on a mission with that new recruit,"_ Joker answered, quickly adding, _“_ _I have nothing against Kasumi, but I'm getting the feeling some of the new parts were probably pawned from somewhere on the Citadel.”_

 

 _“Wait, what? Shepard went on a mission and didn’t say a word?”_ Garrus asked him looking away from the console.

 

 _“Yup... Well, she did pick up Miranda with her.  You were passed-out when they departed.”_ Joker tries to calm down him a little. It was increasingly apparent that Garrus had become very protective of Shepard. But on the other hand, Joker took this as an opportunity to press Garrus' buttons.  _“It was some recon mission, nothing serious. But you should see that new ‘armor’ Shepard got”_   

 

 _“New armor? Last time I check everything was nice and great. All necessary mod properly installed and I made sure that she feels comfortable in it. It has the newest…”_  Garrus' lecture was abruptly stopped when an image of Shepard in a green dress appeared on screen. He was completely slack jawed, only letting out an inaudible gargle from his **subvocals.** It was the first time he ever seen her dress like that.

 

 _“Well, she looks good but I’m not sure if her ‘armor’ is enough,”_ Joker chuckled testing to see if he could get any further reaction. But Garrus was long gone.

 

 _“Mr. Moreau, Garrus Vakarian did leave the cockpit approximately 2 mints ago,”_  the AI informed.

 

 _“Thanks EDI,”_ Joker huffed. _"Test 14-B7 one more time. I'd like to get this done before Shepard gets back.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I would like to thanks Dr_Compass who help me greatly with this chapter. His additions and help is priceless! Second for all you I wish you best Happy New Year! And see you in 2019


	19. Truth stranger than fiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here another chapter. I hope you will all enjoy it.

                True to Kasumi's words, Shepard was on the spotlight for a brief moment.  Despite wearing what could barely be considered a dress at all, all eyes and focus was on another the moment she entered mansion. Donovan Hock was really someone special, for lack of better word. Rich, charismatic, willing to crack open a man's skull to get at the neural implants inside, and short tempered. Upon first meeting with him, Shepard was sure that she could smell fresh blood on him.

 

                His collection was creepy as a man himself. The head of the Statue of Liberty, the gun that killed two Presidents, some Quarians old text written on stone tablets, and a plethora of creepy statues, usually Krogan. Then the hard part starts. Even after they enter into the vault unnoticed, Hock somehow recognized Kasumi and was ready to box them in. Shepard and Kasumi found no difficulty cutting down wave after wave of Eclipse soldiers, but little could prepare them for what waited outside.

 

                Hock pursued them personally from his personal gunship while another wave of mercenary attempts to kill them on the ground. After an intense fight and great work on his shield by Kasumi, they were able to shoot Hock out of the sky, watching as it spun out of control with a trail of smoke. On their way back, the question that remained was the fate of the greybox.

 

                It was clear that greybox and Keiji memory that was stored inside meant much to Kasumi. But what Keiji discovered was enough material to reignite the First Contact Conflict, if not worse. Sifting through the graybox, it was clear Kasumi and Keiji were more than just accomplices. In his final thoughts, Keiji wanted Kasumi to destroy the neural implants; however, she was unable to bring herself to do it.

 

                Shepard closed the distance to gently hug the thief.  As a soldier, she understood the implications of the graybox's contents and the possible outcomes if the information was publicly disclosed. There was no telling who else knew of the graybox's contents and how far they'd go to secure it for themselves. The solution was simple, yet excruciatingly painful for Kasumi.

 

_“I know you'll want to keep these memories forever. But you don't need some neural implant to know he is always with you,”_ Shepard said quietly.

 

_“But… I can’t do it, Shepard… It feels like I was killing him again,”_ Kasumi answered, her years of compounded pain finally breaking through her usually calm disposition.

 

_“This information got him killed, Kasumi. Don’t let his death go in vain. He'd want you to destroy the information and save yourself.”_

_“I know. I just... I can't. This is all that's left of him.”_ Kasumi shakily reached the console to which the graybox was attached.

_”You still bear those memories yourself.  The memories of your shared moments will live on, Kasumi. If it's easier, I could do it for you,”_ Shepard ended quietly putting her hand on her shoulder.

_“I... Okay. I'll see you again, Keiji.  In a better place than this.”_  With that last approval Kasumi step back from the console leaving Shepard space to finally destroy greybox.

 

_“It’s never easy to leave someone you love or care for deeply,”_ Shepard reassured, looking at the broken thief.  


_“You also lost some so close to you?”_ Kasumi asks Shepard rubbing tears off her cheek.

 

_“He wasn’t my loved one, more like a brother I never had. Someone who saw me in my highest and lowest points. Someone I was looking forward to meet after my rebirth, someone I was sure would help me. Until we met recently”_

                Kasumi only needs one look at commander, her eyes alone say more than thousands words _._ So rest of the trip was spent quietly exchanging stories by Shepard and Kasumi and in the end, Kasumi did indeed feel like someone took the weight off her shoulders. They both need to move forward one without her love another without her past in society she did not fully understand. 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Garrus was working hard, a bit too hard. However, he needed to bite back the memory of Shepard in her green dress more than he needed a break. The dress left little to the imagination and would make any turian jealous. He did feel somewhat guilty looking repeatedly at the image. _'She's your friend, for Spirit's sake!'_ he mentally chastised.  _'You're not a teen anymore.  Snap out of it!'_

                 Unfortunately for him, even several cold showers didn’t help his mood. Hours later, he's still wound up by the mental image. Taking another deep breath he notices that someone was calling him on his omnitool.  Fortunately enough, it was from his sister, probably looking to catch up on lost time. With little hesitation, he picks up on the call.

 

_“Hello **Solana.** I’m sorry I didn’t… “_ Any train of thought he had was interrupted when his father showed up on screen instead of his sister...

 

_“Hello, **son**. How nice of you to call us.”  _ The elder Vakarian's was plastered with the same, unfeeling, authoritarian look he always had.  

 

_“Hello, **father…** ” _– Garrus was trying to be as much polite as he could be right now. Of all the people he had to call right now, it was the person he wanted to hear from least, even ahead of Pallin.

 

_“How're Thanix Guns **Garrus**? Were you able to purchase them after all? Are you still on Citadel or are you on Omega off on some vigilante nonsense?” _ The _nerve_.  To be fair, it had almost two years of silence between the two and the last time they called was during his last stand on Omega.  _“What happened during the last two years, **Garrus**? Does none of my teaching matter to you anymore? Why did **you** lose your way? What reason do you have for tossing aside any potential you had?” _ Castis said with disappointment in his voice. 

 

_“If you decided to pull your fringe out of your ass for five minutes, you'd realize my potential was wasted in on this bureaucratic nightmare. I have found a better purpose for myself,”_ Garrus growled.

_“I see. And this is connected in any way or form with rumors surrounding **Commander Shepard?** ”  _Garrus was stunned and shock his **sub-vocals** react instantly on a hostile tone of his father. Despite her acts of valor the couple of years prior, Castis' biases towards Specters and Shepard were still very apparent.

 

                _"I have no such ties to her, father.  Perhaps you're going as senile as mother."_

_“Enough with your insolence!  Speaking of which try to visit her. Her health has deteriorated.  I only hope that you come to your senses in the future. Stay safe, son,”_ he spat, ending the call.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

_“Father, what did you think you were going to accomplish? He's saved from the brink of death and the first thing you do is alienate him?!”_  Solana was angry. She was still fuming that her father used her omnitool without the slightest permission to further chastise her brother.

 

_“Solana, I’m glad that Garrus is alive. But there were things I need to learn,”_ Castis acknowledged, turning away from her to look at the garden.

 

_“About what, Shepard? She is long gone! Just what are you confirming by getting me blocked as well?”_

_“There is something strange mystery and misinformation surrounding her. Shepard was clearly human.  According to official records, she is still consider KIA,”_ Castis stated. His attention was mainly directed at a boxwood that really needed trimming. 

_“So Garrus respects her most and wouldn’t follow anyone else. However, we_ all _saw the news reporting her death two years prior.  Shepard is dead,”_ Solana stated, knowing full well how poorly Garrus took the commander's death.

_“I fear that the truth is stranger than fiction,”_ Castis sighed. On his omnitool, the holoscreen came to life displaying the credentials of Garrus' new commanding officer. The details were sketchy at best and completely blank at worst. She was born on a 'Blue Planet,' born to 'unknown' parents, and at the rank of commander.  What was most confusing was the complete lack of any registered service on any ships prior. The rest was marked confidential as part of her identity as a Specter.

Solana took an extensive look at the records herself, squinting with disbelief.  _“Wait a minute, this isn't right... You can't earn the Hierarchy citizenship this quickly.”_

_"I've done my research.  If my assumptions are correct, this is Commander Shepard the first human Spectre. Now she's a turian and subsequently part of the Turian Hierarchy. How Cerberus achieved this is beyond anyone's guess.”_  Solana was speechless. Cerberus was starting to slip into mainstream news outlets more recently. The pro-human organization was like any other group of spooks: a bedtime story that'd make one's plates crawl. However, Cerberus broke new grounds into how uncanny such stories could be.  The silence was broken by another ping from her omnitool.

 

_“It's from Blackwatch command isn’t it?”_   She didn't utter a word before rushing out the door, slamming it behind her.  “ _Let the spirits of my ancestors watch over my children”_

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Shepard need answers. After her return into Normandy, Joker informed her the guns were fully installed and ready for use. In the meantime, Garrus was running some final calibrations.  The pilot's chipper behavior did garner her suspicion. After a moment of persuading and help from EDI, she gradually pressued Joker to tell the whole story. Now, she'd also need to talk to Garrus, clear up the air between them before matters get worse. But first, she needs some guidance on turian formalities.

 

_“Hmmm… glad you came by Shepard,"_ Mordin greeted when she entered the lab. As per usual, the salarian was hard at work with some assignment she handed him. Jane only hopes that he will leave humans livers alone.

 

_“Have you got a minute to talk?”_  Jane wasn’t entirely sure why she chose Mordin of all people, but his biological insight did grant him some level of expertise.  Karin and Paretia were still on shore leave and were offboard at the time.  

 

_“Actually wanted to talk. Medical matters,”_ Mordin answered, moving away from the console with a datapad. _“Aware that mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress. Sexual activity normal stress release for turians just as humans tend to do. Garrus is still the best candidate to continue on your current path, after all, there is overwhelming evidence of his interest in you.”_  Mordin spoke like they were discussing the weather. Jane almost felt like he just sarcastically insulted her.

 

_“I… don't know what you're talking about, Mordin.”_ Jane was fighting to collect herself.

 

_“Nothing to be ashamed of, Commander. Garrus is strong, loyal, from well-respected clan in Hierarchy. Additionally, signals are strong form both parties. **Sub-vocals,** pheromones, aggressive, and defensive reaction during free time and on the mission. Sparing session that tends to lead to massages where both parties believe to be alone. As I recall correctly he even spends a night in your cabin so I was surprised that your hormones level didn’t go down as they should. It could be caused by your” –_ he coughed – _“purity as female turian sometimes it happened but the remedy is simple.”_

                The sheer overload of information was overwhelming for Jane.  Did Garrus did really care about her? Was it because she's now turian? How long did he feel that way? How was possible that her body reacts the way it did? The number of corresponding questions was dizzying.

 

_“Are you Ok Commander?”_ Mordin inquired, looking at her with visible concern.

 

_“Mordin… we really didn’t do anything more than just… been close friends… I wasn’t aware of his or my signals…”_

 

_“Oh… Problematic….”_ He didn’t expect that. All data indicated that they should at least mated once. He theories that maybe Garrus was feeling used by a commander or vice versa. Mordin also speculated that maybe he force something but Shepard wasn’t ready. This new information would explain why Shepard readings were so high. He made a simple mistake of not collecting enough data from the second source. Now it was his mission to repair the damage he done.   _“Apologies, Commander.  Misunderstanding.  Let’s start from the beginning.”_ He quickly moves to his workstation and goes back with a few more datapad. 

_“Start with these.”_ The salarian doctor handed her a collection of datapads.  _“They contain the bases of turian custom. Written specifically for mix species couples so any question you could have there will be answered. If you choose to move any further with your relationship the last one contain valuable diagrams, common positions comfortable for both man and female, erogenous zones overviews.”_

_“Thank Mordin… And please let it stay between us.”_

_“Doctor-patient confidentially a sacred trust,”_ he reassured. _“But please resolve it sooner than later.  Better for your own health.”_

 

                Now in her own cabin, Shepard began looking over the datapads and really started to call into question her relationship with Garrus. Does she feel for him too? The use of his **sub-vocals** during conversion, the emphasis on her name, the forehead touching and their night together all started to add up. Her own body wasn’t at fault, reacting according to her own muffled feelings towards him. Jane always likes talking with Garrus, especially after missions when she butchers the Mako. She would always find an excuse to help him out with repairs and it seemed that he did, in turn, enjoy their little conservations. Was it possible that he started to develop feelings toward her during their hunt for Saren? That would explain his sudden departure to Omega. Her hide becomes blue when the whole picture becomes clear to her.

 

                Now Jane needed to hear Garrus' half of the story. But how she would make him talk? She looked back at the datapad and read Chapter 4 – _“Turian Man for Life.”_  

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Garrus felt exhausted, lost, and somehow defeated. For the last few hours, he didn’t move forward with calibration after the talk with his father. Garrus shouldn’t lose his nerve when talking to his father, his words mean nothing his **sub-vocals**  will tell a true story. Admittedly, he now felt guilty at the prospect it had been so long since he'd been home on Palaven. He had been funding his mother's treatment with salvaged credits he earned from his time working as Archangel, but the mention of his mother left him emotionally gutted. Mordin had mentioned the possibility of treatment, but that he would need Collector tissue to begin working on such. In the long run, it wouldn't be a problem. The main issue was how much longer she would hold.

 

                Standing and taking another deep breath, he returns to the calibration process when the door to the main battery open. Garrus already knew who it was and it was time to talk. There was much going on between himself and Jane, and he would need to explain himself. But he wasn’t sure if he could deal with it right now, trying to put his calm mask on he turns around.

 

_“Shepard. Need me for something?”_      

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more turian custom that I used from many other sources. Let's see where it leads.  
> Once again great thanks to Dr_Compass on his part. Stay tuned for more.


	20. I have a confession to make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2nd part of this chapter is NSFW you have been warned. I hope all of you will enjoy it.

 

It was obvious Garrus was feeling unnerved when Shepard step inside wearing pants and a really loose hoodie. He could clearly see her right collarbone but most importantly it was clear that part of her hide was already blue.  Stepping inside, she watched Garrus continue.

 

 _"So, Garrus how're the guns doing?”_   she asks, casually inspecting the machinery.

_“The weapons upgrades have gone in beautifully. These things pack a hell of a punch._ _It just might give us a chance against the Collectors. But ship needs more than that.”_

_“Good to hear.  I'll see to it that all the other requirements are met as well, **Garrus,** ” _she complimented, finally turning around to meet his gaze.  Her **sub-vocals** didn’t go unnoticed. It was strange, to look at her with her new set of clan markings. Garrus was trying to think a way to gently talk about them.

 

_“ **Shepard…** about….”_

 

 _“How much do you think I'll pay for the Thanix guns **Garrus?** ”_ she quietly interrupted. Silence fell between the two when Garrus realized what the price was. Shepard's was displaying all sorts of distress, prompting him to move forward and take her in his embrace. She gladly accepts the gesture and returns it without hesitation. They stay together no one knew how long only for Garrus to break the silence.

 

 _“Do you want to talk about it?”_  She needed his help more than ever. He was there to protect and help her, no matter what.

 

 _“Yea… but not here… maybe somewhere on the Citadel?”_ Jane proposed, looking at him with her green eyes. There was no way he couldn’t say no to them even if he was in the middle of the calibration.

 

 _“That sound nice…”_  The two held each other for a little longer.

 

_“Thanks, **Garrus.** This means a lot to me. Besides, you’re clearly exhausted. You need a break”_

_“I will, but you better follow suit, **Shepard.** ” _

_“Deal. Do you need anything else? Or are you planning to go out in that armor?”_  

 

 _“You are planning to wear that?”_  He countered her, pointing at her collarbone.

 

 _“And what’s wrong with that?"_ Jane retorted, moving away from him with an intention to makes herself exposed to his eyes. For now, she admittedly sounded oblivious to just how much she was flaunting her body. Dangerously provoking similar reactions from other turian males. Needless to say, it was a recipe for disaster.   

 

 _“Let me fix that…”_ Reaching forward, he adjusted her hoodie to better cover her collarbone. _"Wear the hoodie like that and you'll be baiting every turian male within a mile radius."_

 

_“Oh… Thanks, **Garrus**. Let me know when you're ready to head out."_

 

_“Right behind you **Shepard.** ”_

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Admittedly, going out with Shepard was probably the best idea. It was a brief window of escape he desperately needed, drown the Galaxy out with her presence. Some other turians look at them with strange looks, but the Commander's presence kept them repelled. After strolling around the Citadel, they stop opposite to a fancy local that he recognized from various patrols during his time at C-Sec.

 

_“Are you sure **Shepard?** This place isn't cheap.  They do have good seafood though.” _

_“It looks quiet and peaceful, no one will bother us. Much has happened as of late and I wanted to do a bit of catching up.”_

_“Okay... let's go then.”_ He knew very well what she had in mind.

_“C'mon, it's a well-earned break. And I'm paying,”_ Shepard reassured.  _"Come on, what are we waiting for?”_   

The place was quiet with only a few others turian occupying some other tables. The restaurant was dotted few aquariums with sea creatures form Palaven and other turian colonies, giving the room a tranquil glow. Shepard did find it odd that water was violet in coloration, with some tanks close to a full-red. Finally, they sat down at a secluded corner of the restaurant before realizing just how hungry they were. Looking at the menu, Shepard realized just how unfamiliar she was with the dishes on offer. Noticing her uncertainty, Garrus quickly proposed a few dishes for her to try. One of them was soup with something she could only describe as an octopus-like creature, sweet and spicy in nature. Both of them enjoy food and each other company until Garrus looked at her waiting for Shepard to start when she felt ready.

 

_“ **Garrus,** before I start, tell me. Are my markings in any way offensive? There were some turians that look oddly at me and it's taken me some time to blend with the crowd.” _

 

_“No, not at all. To be honest your face paint resembles a warrior tribe from turian folklore. They were courageous, fierce, and well trained among the early clans. It's from some stories that most turians don't know of. No pressure, Shepard.”_

_“Thanks… that is encouraging,”_ she acknowledged, looking at her half empty glass in deep thought.

 

 _“So how was a ceremony? Which clan did adopt you? I don’t recognize that pattern,”_ Garrus asked carefully.

 

 _“There was no ceremony **Garrus**. Only Oriania and Matriarch Valelonia met with me. Oriania simply stated that ‘cooperation would earn favors with the Hierarchy.' More bluntly, ‘obtaining Thanix Cannon would be almost impossible without Hierarchy approval.’ So that's the score. When I accept their offer Valelonia talk with me briefly about turian culture and then face paint me. At least Anderson still cares about me,” _ she summarized.

 

                That explains a lot. Where was the last time he heard about that kind of solution? _“Well at least you don’t have to follow your clan tradition,”_ he said, trying to inject some humor.

 

 _“The fact my markings resemble some mythical warrior tribe isn't helping my case,”_ Jane sighed, sitting up straight.

 

 _“Well, you do have the warrior part down, **Shepard,** ”_ Garrus added, holding her palm in his. _“No matter, just keep in mind I've still got your six.”_

 

                It was a perfect moment she moves slowly but steadily towards him until their forehead to meet. He could feel low ***rumble*** traveling through her plate to his. Lost in moment Garrus didn’t stop his own vibration. It was certain that it was a deliberate action on her part and he just wanted to take it all in.

 

 _“I… I have a confession to make **Garrus.** ” _ The shakiness in her voice was clearly heard as her grip on his hand got stronger.

 

 _“What confession?”_  Garrus didn’t break forehead 'kiss'.

 

 _“I spoke with Morin about Turian custom… it was illuminating,”_ Jane whispered, moving away from him. Looking directly at his blue eyes. Garrus was glad that Shepard didn't have his visor. She didn't need seeing just how hard his heart was rattling away in his chest. Did she feel angry, betrayed, used? Was it their goodbye? Seconds turn into minutes….

 

 _“So…_ ”

 

_“So…”_

_“How long have you..."_ Jane started with uncertainty.

 

                There was no turning now it was that moment his father warned him many times. _‘There will be times in every man’s life when he must do or say the right thing, lest he lose everything he cares for.’_ Pushing aside any other hesitation, he started, _“When we were still chasing Saren, probably sometime after your help with…”_  He was abruptly silenced by the sudden kiss.  Despite the confusion, his body understood the gesture. Turian kisses are more or less similar to humans but with greater meaning. You could touch your foreheads with other turian as a greeting, to show respect to the elder, or to start something more intimate. But a kiss was reserved for the one you care the most and it should be only used in special cases, and with great care in public. It’s because the kiss for the most situation is an acceptance of courtship.

 

Garrus confession was all Shepard need. She didn’t care if someone would see them. She wants to send him a clear message that she is interested and accept his offer. After a heated moment, they broke their kiss to catch a breath a smile appeared on her face a low ***purr*** emitted from her body.

_“I never knew you had a weakness for men with scars, but aren’t we… little too quick? I'm not trying to pressure you, ”_ Garrus started, stroking her hand gently.

 

_“I want **you**. I want someone I can trust. Someone who always have my six. No matter what. Someone who will judge me by my action, not my look or uniform. Someone who can be my **Archangel**.” _

 

_“There’s nobody in this galaxy I respect more than you **Shepard.** ” _

 

 _“Well, Mordin notes are handy. Now **you** can’t hide your turian nature and signals,” _ Jane smirked.

 

It didn’t take them long to end their dinner and move out into Citadel nightfall. Shepard took the lead, taking his hand she guide them. Garrus noted early on they weren't heading back to the _Normandy_. He looks at her questionably only receiving a shaky smile and low ***rumble*** from her.  They end up in the motel near the docks. Briefly checking through his visor, Shepard's heart rate had slightly increased. He knew exactly what was on her mind but shouldn’t they wait a bit, maybe talk more? The room was simple, had a bedroom, a bathroom, some furniture, and it was a little larger than Jane's cabin. Slamming the door behind them, they stood in a brief silence, hearing nothing but their own breathing and racing hearts.

 

 _“There is one more thing that Mordin told me…”_  she spoke quietly. Garrus notice how nervous she was standing before him in defense position shifting her weight from one leg to another.

 

_“It appears that because my body was created in the lab it didn’t go through a normal process of… female maturation. And now all stress is building to dangerous levels according to Mordin. So having a good idea of your feelings towards me I thought that… that…”_

 

                Garrus cut her off by standing forward and putting his hands to her neck and waist.  _“ **Jane…** I've seen so many things go wrong. My work at C-Sec, what happened in Omega. I want something to go right. Just once....”  _  Garrus whispered, slowly moving towards her and ending his sentence with a delicate kiss to her lips. She returns it with little more vibe her hands touch his fringe and was rewarded by low ***growl***. With some encouragement, he grabbed her waist and moves to lick her neck, gently biting her.   

 

 _“ **Gar… Garrus.** ” _ It was an experience more intense than what she remembered from her dream.  The mix of pain and pleasure riddled her body with electricity. 

 

                She wants to feel him, touch him but his curse armor stood in the way, he, on the other hand, was free to explore and Garrus used every minute of it. As the books described turian foreplay, it quickly devolved into a sort of small wrestling. She found herself struggling to throw him off her neck and now exposed belly while she gradually pried off his armor. In turn, he struggles to avoid her attacks such that he can further explore her, trace the back of her blue neck with his other hand.

 

 _“ **Garrus!** ” _ A ***growl*** was his only warning. She manages to release all clasp and before his armor hit the floor she force him onto the bed jumping on top him to straddle him.

 

 _“Do you like the view **Garrus?** ” _He ***purred*** in approval, to which Jane giggled in response. Without time to recover, it was Jane's turn to explore. Garrus still had his body-glove on, but with some ingenuity, Jane peeled it back to feel his bare chest plates. Heat resonated off of him, feeling the muscles under his hide when he shifted his shoulders and arms. She peeled back the last of his armor, leaving him fully bare. Using the moment of her hesitation, Garrus grab her by thighs, and flipped her on her back with himself on top.

 

                Now Shepard was trap under his body and gaze both of them breathing heavy. _“You were always **beautiful Jane…”** As a human, your movement were so similar to turian and now you are the most beautiful turianess I have ever seen.”_    He moved in to kiss and lick her neck, this time focusing on her throat. Jane moves her hand to his back and fringe knowing well where to touch him. The room reverberated with sounds of their lovemaking, turian pheromones choked the air, and their senses were drowned out by the feeling of their bodily vibrations and the songs of their **sub-vocals**. Any self-restraing Garrus had finally gave way to her low vibration, smell, and flavor. Kissing and licking, he moves from her neck to her sternum and stomach. With one smooth move, he tore off her last article of clothing, leaving nothing to the imagination.

 

                Shepard too was lost in a new world of sensations, each one slamming into her like a brick wall. She feels something, something wet and hot licking her vulva sending another jolt through her body. She wasn’t able to form any words, feeling Garrus going deeper with his tongue. In her mind, time completely came to a halt as she became completely lost in sensation the endless pleasure continue. Garrus took his time, leaving no part untouched. She reached he peak her claws tear up bedding but that make Garrus attack more ferociously extending her climax. Instantly, he was in love with her flavor.

 

                It took her at least a few minutes to recover, only then noticing that Garrus leaning over her, his manhood fully extended and ready for action. Long blue with ridges wider at its base, pulsing and glossy form self-lubrication. Moving forward she feels him teasing her, their forehead touch and then he slides all way inside her. Garrus stop for a moment for allowing her to catch a breath then move again slowly and steady not breaking their forehead kiss. Jane was lost in sensation clearly feeling ridges that stimulate her core. Moving her hand to the fringe and his waist encouraged him to move faster and harder.

 

                Room was now filled with the sound of clashing bodies ***snarls*** ***purring***   ***growling*** and sometimes one of them were able to form the name of another.

 

                _“ **Ja… Jane…”**_ Garrus ***mumbled***. She only responded by locking her legs behind his lower back and biting down on his lower neck. With his movement limited his thrust become shorter but stronger and faster sending another wave of electricity between them.  Feeling that both of them are close to realising he move his hand behind her back and lift them both to sitting position. Shepard was surprised by the change but now she has a chance to use her turian stamina and instantly start to move her hips to meet his thrusts. Her hands roam his back probably making marks when he thrust harder.

 

                They were close their eyes meet and without hesitation their mouth crash in a heated kiss, almost too much for Jane. Feeling her climax trigger, Garrus released, followed by her walls massage his cock encouraging for a stronger eruption. While climaxing he thrust her few times before it became apparent that he was unable to pull out. As was the case of turian biology, the base of his length expand and her entrance clenched down on the base of his, keeping the sperm in. Typically, this should only occur under the circumstances both mates were bonded and the female was fertile. However, there were still instances both parties didn’t have intercourse for an extensive period or strong feelings between the two caused a similar effect.

 

                With that, Garrus instinctively move his mouth to her shoulder and neck to lick her, an action to calm down her. Both of them have still had traces of unreleased energy in lingering.  She clearly felt him realising himself inside of her making her ***whine***   quietly before he thrust few more times while still locked inside. Garrus gestures made her relax, and she was finally able to focus on him.  She leaned forward and gently kissed his mandible.

 

 _“So… How long…?“_ she asked quietly. She felt burned out like her days back at N5 training, but the aching felt good.

 

 _“I… I don’t know. It never happened to me…”_ he answered with embarrassment lingering in his tone.

 

_“So I’m your **special** girl then.” _

 

 _“ **You** are more than that…”_ he blurted, eyeing the blue stripes along her body.  

 

 _“Hmmm... flatterer.”_ She didn’t want to pressure him more. Now they need to decide what to do. The position was pleasant, leaving them coupled to each other over the next fifteen minutes. Reading her intention, he shifted them both to their side and found a good position to lay down while he continued licking her neck. Time slowly passed as each of them continued caring for the other, licking, kissing and stroke each other neck face and fringe.

 

 _“So… mandatory cuddling time is not bad, I hope you prepare some good story Garrus,”_   Jane hummed, feeling that she walls ease up a bit. 

 

_“Maybe we could use that as a guide on turian custom?”_

_“Take your best shot, **Vakarian.** ” _

_”I’ve already had, but here it comes.”_  She was surprised by his thrust her eyes went wide a clear gasp could escape her. While still locked inside his base shrink enough that allow some movement inside her.  Jane hears him snickers if he wants to play dirty she can play dirty. Before he could react she move him on his back his hands immobilized Jane on top still mostly lock together.

 

 _“ **Jane...?** ” _She only ***growls*** to answer him.  She was towering over him hunger in her eyes. Any other resistant on his part melted away the moment when Shepard starts to move her hips. Her movements were limited, but it was enough to make him ***purr***. Garrus' ridges start to stimulate her making her vagina muscle, clamp around it even more. Both turians start to emit vibration, not wanting to lose any second of it.  He pulled up closer to her. Still, in charge, she didn’t care, their mouth crash in a passionate kiss. His hand roams around her chest and stomach making her giggle. Nothing matter for them. They were together connected by body and soul. With another climax, they release all stress store in them and they fell asleep with blissful peace.

 

++++++++++++++++++++   

               

 _“How is your progress?_ “ he asked.

 

Pulling up her sleeve, she slaps on a nicotine patch on a patch of skin between plates.  She flexes her arm a bit as she feels the narcotic kick in.  In her line of work, she had the brains, but she lacked the steel nerves.  The drugs were meant to compensate.  _“No one on the ship realizes that most of their meals have some form of aphrodisiac. And from what I heard through the door, they didn’t stop after the first round,”_ Paretia quietly reported to her companion.

_“Good. Now that they're active, you should probably stop the doses or minimize them. The Salarian ex-STG captain may catch on if you're not careful.”_

_“He mostly huddles up in his lab and Shepard keeps him busy.  By the time I've stopped with the doses, he won't have the faintest idea what happened.”_

_“I've had my eye on Shepard's behavior. If we stay the course, she will be great Turian Spectre. But if she's going to fully embrace Turian society, we might need a more hands-on approach.”_ The figure added, taking another sip of a purple drink.

_“I will keep you posted.  If anything important comes up, I'll write up another report,”_ Paretia said

 

 _“Oh… and by the way, command probably will send a Blackwatch commando to clean up if she made any messes,”_  robed figure told her before turning to leave. 

_“I won't blow my cover.”_  By then, her companion was long gone.

 

                Stepping outside street Paretia look around, after almost hour of eavesdropping over Shepard and Garrus she too feels ready to blow some steam. The nicotine was good for when you might face execution, but it still left plenty to be desired. Spotting a young turian, she knew she found her escape. The kid would be an easy one. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again great thanks to editor Dr_Compass with this chapter. My 1st time writing sexy time. I hope you all have a great time with the story so far. 
> 
> I'm planning to rewrite chapter 1-3 they are the weakest and I got competition in the form of Reincarnated by TurianSoldier. So I must do better. See you around.


	21. One more kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first part is rated M. Please enjoy :)

 

Shepard gradually woke up from the best sleep she had in weeks.  Slowly opening one of her eyes she was greeted by the sight of a sleeping Garrus, still wrapped around her smaller frame. Her head was under his chin and placed in his cowl. Every time he breaths, she can feel a pulse of heat resonating off of his chest. Jane felt relaxed in bed but was ultimately forced to pull herself up. It was her omnitool that broke idyllic silence: a call from Joker. With a grumble, she was able to free herself from Garrus clutching without waking him.

 

 _“What’s up Joker?”_  she asked, drowsiness still slurring her voice.

 

 _“I hope you had a good night Commander.”_ Joker's tone clearly indicated he knew how she spent her night.

 

She snapped up in bed and put her legs over the side of the bed.  _“I hope that you have a really good reason to wake me up.  And what's it to you how I spent my night?”_  Jane asked her pilot with a hint of fake anger.

_“Jacob's team managed to install reinforced plaiting. Normandy is ready to leave for Illium,”_ the AI broke into the conversation.

 

_“Illium?”_

 

 _“It appears that Miranda manages to find another member to your team, Shepard. A Drell Assassin and Justicar all information you need are in your Cabin,”_ the AI stated.

_“Joker, inform the crew that shore leave is over…”_ Looking at the clock she was shocked. It was almost afternoon.  How long they were fooling last night exactly?

_“Most of the crew is back on the ship. We are only waiting for you and Garrus. Speaking of Garrus, do you know where is he? I can’t get hold of him…”_  The sarcasm was dripping from his voice.

 

 _“We're moving out in two hours,”_ Jane stated terminated conversation.

 

She took a deep breath, knowing full well that the whole crew probably knew what she and Garrus got up to the night prior. It was the first time she'd ever committed like this to either her crew or fellow soldiers. Per Alliance regulations, she kept herself restrained prior to her revival, resulting in subtle loneliness. She got by by treating her teammates like family rather than a standard crew. This relationship was otherwise new territory for her and it was clear that the two wanted more than a one-night stand.

 

                Before asking Garrus out, she made sure her implants rendered her infertile if all went to plan. Her pheromones were still stable, meaning she wasn't ovulating. It should've prevented him from knotting, but he did that regardless. Jane read one expiation in her study and it was fairly good one. The books on the other hand didn’t explain her long sleep. She recall ending their affair rather quickly in the night so their metabolism should've allowed them to rise just as early. Looking around, she noticed that claw marks littered the furniture and walls. The smell of musty sex and pheromones still hung in the air and Garrus' smell hung off of her. To top it all off, chafe marks, fluids, and scratches littered her own body. Memories of the night before started to come back, causing her hide to glow blue again.

 

Jane remembers waking in the middle of the night, suddenly craving more action, but with greater vigor. Each copulation was preceded by the fight for domination and control over other. Sometimes Jane wins pining him down by his throat riding him furiously. She moved her hands to her collarbone scrutinizing herself for bite marks. He did not remain indebted flashes of his hard pounding from behind unravel before her eyes.  It was a blur that left her very confused.  The notes Mordin handed her mentioned nothing like this.  Taking her time, she didn't notice Garrus gradually waking behind her.

 

He remembers most of the night. Knowing so little about human customs, he decided that their first round should be slow as to not scare or hurt her. Reinforcing their confidence, the second round was somewhere closer to turian customs. He was glad the night went as well as it did, but what happened after their short nap wasn’t standard turian affair. Her sudden drive for more surprised him even. She got wild, needing more after each round. Only after her attempt to mark him, did he want to retaliate and dominate. It wasn't easy working around her biotics. There was a lot of question but for now, he must make sure that he didn’t hurt her during the night. He notices some claw marks on her back and exposed hips and worries what she would think about them. 

 

 _“It looks like our shore leave is over,”_ he said quietly to give her a sing that he was awake.

 

_“Yeah… we have to move out….”_

 

 _“So how are you feeling?”_  He starts slowly putting his hand on her back scratching her.  The fact she didn't flinch was a good sign.

_“Well… I’m finally feeling great, relaxed even. There are some bruises, but I feel like all negative energy just evaporated. You really put on a show last night **Garrus,** ” _Jane said looking at him, eyes widened. Garrus torso and neck have some serious looking claw and teeth marks. Moving her hand to one of them she said quietly, _“Sorry about the fight last night. I didn’t know that my claws are that sharp… let me find some medigel…”_  They weren’t bond marks but Shepard knew how serious it could get.  Her attempt to get up was stopped by Garrus.

_“It’s nothing to worry about. Besides, I like them…”_ he said reassuringly. For a moment they look at each other until their forehead meet. The low ***purr*** that followed was reassuring, albeit confusing.

_“What happened last night **Garrus**?” _ she asked without breaking their ***kiss.***

_“I don’t know. I will talk with Mordin about this **Jane**. I’m as confused as you are.  The night shouldn't have ended like that.” _ Taking a deep breath, he notices the dense smell of intercourse.  _“So… do **you** want to take a shower? It’s a good way to start a day.” _  

_“Sounds like a plan.”_

                Jane didn’t bother to cover herself.  By now, she felt comfortable around Garrus, even a little confident. They helped wash away evidence from the night before, slather on some medigel to help the wounds heal. Jane felt a little sadness, knowing that an entire Cerberus ship along with a Cerberus-loyal AI will be watching their every action.

 

_“Don’t worry **Jane** , we will find a way to work around this.  If I've got any spare time, I could get to work picking out bugs in your cabin.”_

_“Already planning the next one big guy?”_ Jane chuckled, kissing him in his mandible.

 

                _“There's nothing wrong with a little precaution.”_ With that final reassurance, they moved to join others on the Normandy and head off to Illium.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Miranda was fuming.  How the human embassy would feed Shepard to turians and leave her listed as KIA was beyond her. The Citadel scan clearly showed that her body was a combination of turian and Shepard's human DNA, and was no other evidence denying it. She was convinced the Alliance would bring her back in, but the effort was futile and the attempt at a human Specter fell through.  It was a deep blow to the human embassy and could easily set them back years. According to intel, it appears that it was mostly Anderson doing, pushing Shepard into turian society without even talking to Udina. It took the latter a while to process the implications of the sudden shift and his attempt to change that were stop by Turian Councilor.  Shepard accepted colony markings and Sparatus made it clear that she was now under Turian jurisdiction. At least they were able to purchase Thanix Cannon and Jacob finally installed the new plating.

 

                In a few short hours, they'd be departing to follow up on the other dossiers.  However, there were other problems closer to home for Miranda. Word said her father finally found her younger sister and plans were in the works to retake her from Miranda's care. She was short on time and nothing short of direct intervention was necessary. She was out of options and she didn't want to use Cerberus resources on this venture.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the AI reporting Shepard and Garrus were back on the deck, allowing for final preparations to leave Citadel. It was obvious that a relation was in full bloom between the two of them. Terminal show both of them exchange some kind of forehead rubbing a gesture she saw in others turian couples before each returned to their posts; the former remained on the bridge and the latter headed for the main battery.

 

 _“What do you think about the people we're picking up?”_ Miranda overheard their exchange. It was strange how the commander still trusted the pilot. She believed that she would indefinitely hold her death accountable to the pilot, seeing her death was a direct result of Joker's stubbornness. Talking with him about ship and crew, trusting him with a ship. Despite desiring any alternative to the Alliance pilot, Joker was perhaps the best pilot available, surpassing those with mechanical enhancements.

_“…Zaeed is like you, but takes checks. Long as it's not my money, we're good… So it seems like Garrus has finally worked that stick out of his ass… so how'd it go, Commander?”_   Miranda watch their strange conversation unveiled.

 

 _“I never see you as a type who would date a Turian, Joker. Need some advice?”_  Shepard joked.

 

_"Nah, I’m good.”_

 

                Miranda watched the Commander for a while longer, watching her maker her rounds and resupplying the mess with new food supplies. There was definitely an aura about her despite her turian appearance, allowing her to seamlessly build moral. Even Jack who'd been antisocial the day she got onboard was now starting to spend increasing amount of time in the mess hall, gradually showing less hostility to those less in line with Cerberus' ideals. Closing the monitors, she decided it was high time she sent Niket a call until Shepard entered her cabin.

 

 _“Hello Miranda, I see you've found some new recruits for the mission,”_ she greeted.

 

_“Yes I did. I've messaged you their respective dossiers.”_

_“EDI told me.  Also, I want to talk with you specifically Miranda. You're the second in command.  I'm aware you have work to do, but I'd prefer if you didn't just bunker down in here all day.”_ It was clear that there is no way Miranda could escape talk with her.

 

                _“If you insist…”_

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Garrus spent next few days again calibrating guns and helping with finding a new planet for analyses and subsequent resource collection.  It had otherwise been quiet since their night out as neither he nor Jane had free time.  Between eating and her new training sessions with other crew members, there was little in the way for personal talk.

 

Now alone in his bunk, Garrus couldn’t find a good position to sleep, his mind still drifting back to the night with Shepard. Her smell still lingered around him, something not even shampoo could remove. The two decided to keep a low profile, see if they could avoid alerting the crew to their involvement with each other. Unfortunately, Jack already made it apparent the decision may be too little too late. He figured he'd talk with Mordin about their strange behavior. After all, Shepard already had an embarrassing conversation with the salarian and had convinced him it was his turn to 'bite the bullet.'

 

Unfortunate talk didn’t go as Garrus planed. Mordin bombarded him with excessive questions, of which grew increasingly irritating to answer. It took all of his self-restraint not to slug the elder salarian across the head. Then Mordin asked if he'd given her any drugs prior to their session together.

 

The question got him riled up.  _“I did no such thing.  Otherwise, I wouldn't be here discussing this with you.  Now, I'm asking for your input,”_  he defends himself after auditable ***growl.***    However, he was willing to comply with giving tissue samples from his mouth and blood for Mordin to analyses.

 

                All in all, the conversation went nowhere.  After that, he bid Jane goodnight and returned to his quarters.  Tomorrow, they would arrive at Illium. Still unable to sleep, he switched into his training gear and headed down to the cargo area to work himself out. On the way out he meets with Jacob, exchanging information about the new guns and plates on the ship. With that out of the way, he pulls out a punchback and starts his routine.

 

Not long after he starts door open and Shepard appears inside wearing her training gear as well, also feeling a touch of insomnia. Without a word she put a mat and start to stretch herself, opting to spar each other instead. The goal still remained to tire the other out. They didn’t stop until both of them were breathing heavily and their bodies were on the verge of collapsing. On the main deck, they were ready to separate only for her to stop invite him the rest of the way up the elevator. After a few lonely nights, it was a welcome change.  Both of them still craved the other. With heat and a low ***purr,*** they only exchanged a small kiss before they move to the bed. Together, they fell asleep, ready for a new day to come.       

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Paretia didn’t expect that. The small dose of aphrodisiac wasn't enough to create that extreme reaction. Garrus was even talking about it with Mordin, after all, Garrus and Shepard already smell more like a mated couple than friends with benefits, something the salarian clearly caught on during dinner time. In preparation, she flushed all remaining drug packages out with the waste disposal, removing any connection to her. Without a save terminal to research the topic more precisely she will need to seek opportunity when they arrived on Illium.

 

                Admittedly, she felt a pang of jealousy as she watched Shepard and Garrus continue up the elevator. Taking another deep breath she gets up and stretched.  It was time she turned in for the night. She didn’t notice someone lurking in the dark taking notes, inspecting her thoroughly.

 

_“Phyyyy… Problematic…”_

               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thanks for Dr_Compass help with this chapter. We are finally moving out away from boring Citadel ;) 
> 
> Thank you all for all kudos you are great! See you next time


	22. Are we friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters await!

 

           Illium was a breath of fresh air and a welcome change for Jane's senses. Illium is a classic garden world, developed to serve as an entrepot between the Terminus Systems and the Asari Republics. She was surprised that there was a welcoming party an asari flanked by two mechs.  It was even more surprising that Liara had found her place on Illium. _“Welcome to Nos Astra, Commander Shepard. We've been instructed to waive all docking and administration fees for your visit,”_  the young asari greeted. _“The order came from Liara T'soni, who paid all fees on your behalf.”_

_“You said Liara was here? What is she doing?”_

 

_“Liara is one of Nos Astra's most respected information brokers.”_  The thought of Liara drastically shifting her interests was strange enough. The asari she remembered from her mission against Saren was an archeologist, not an information broker.  _"Information is valuable currency, and Liara has done quite well.  As I said, you'll find her near the trading floor. She looks forward to seeing you.”_  

 

_“Thank you.”_ Garrus was on Omega, she could very well run into Tali again, and Liara is right here.  Perhaps she could convince her to join in the mission.

 

_“Again, welcome to our city, Commander. Please enjoy your stay.”_

                The city was breathtaking.  Above the winding maze of streets, skyscrapers stretched on into the distance as far as the eye could see; a crown jewel of the asari people. She moves into one balcony looking around at the sunset Garrus close by. _“We were always told that Ilium is one of the safest places in the galaxy... until you fell off the grid. Sign the wrong contract, join up with the wrong company, or walk down the wrong alley, and it's as dangerous as Omega,”_ Garrus scoffed.

 

_“And just like that, the magic is gone,”_ Shepard sighed, turning around to look at him.  He could be a real mood killer.

 

_“Credit where credit is due, **Shepard** , it’s an exciting city. A lot of goods come through here because of its proximity to the Terminus System. On the other hands, Asari made it a free-trade world. Contract terms are more relaxed, and slavery has been rebranded as 'contractual obligations.'  Be careful,” _ Garrus dismissed in self-defense.

                After conversing with an asari who made contact with the Rachni Queen from two years prior, they closed in on the entrance to Liara's office when another voice caught their attention.  _“Garrus! I was wondering what happened to you after Shepard died,”_  Ginna Parsini called.  They didn’t want to make a scene, so Garrus moved forward and sat opposite to Parsini, Shepard lurking just behind him. _“It's good to see you, Garrus. I hope you remember me.  You and Shepard helped me nail Administrator Anoleis back on Noveria.”_

_“Happy to help.”_ Garrus wasn’t sure why Shepard didn’t say anything, hearing her ***click*** behind his back.

 

_“If I remember right, I owed Shepard a beer. How about a drink to her memory?”_  A waitress brought them glasses and a levo/dextro-friendly bottle of beer.

 

_“What brings you to Ilium? Weren't you C-Sec?”_ He notices that Shepard sit’s beside him slowly drinking beer.

 

_“Working on a project. My Commander is putting together a team and we're currently recruiting.”_ Garrus hadn't really thought over how he should talk about her publicly. His mind was currently running in circles for a filler name in the meantime.   _“Commander Chaeris, this is Ginna Parsini, ran into her during my mission with Shepard a couple years ago.”_

_“It’s a pleasure,”_ Jane replied.  Her tone reverberated with sadness and a little dose of uncertainty.

_“You have an excellent soldier here, Commander,”_ Gianna said, oblivious to the situation at large. _“I've been undercover enough to know how it goes but.... Hey, listen, I just remembered something. I've got to go. Stay in touch.  And don't forget your beer for Shepard.”_ After that, she hastily departed.

 

                They both looked at the glass.  On a napkin was a hastily scrawled message. _“It’s your call,”_ Jane shrugged, snatching her glass and downing her drink.

The message was clear ‘Garrus. Had to leave. Target saw me. Couldn’t break my cover. Asari merchant smuggling schematics from Noveria. Can you talk her into showing you good stuff?”

 

                Jane watched Garrus stand from the table with a strange feeling. In combat, she left room for the squad to show their talent, but she still primarily called the shots. Taking a backseat for once wasn't her forte.  Gianna's ignorance of her person was of greater concern but on the other hand, they didn’t speed so much time on Noveria. For Gianna Shepard is dead and Garrus move with his life to a new commander, a turian like anyone else. Garrus' retconning of her actual name mildly irritated her as well and for his sake let it not be Mrs. reach and flexibility name!  Regardless, she did give him credit for his mastery of words, baiting the asari out with no trouble.

 

_“Talk fast, Hermia! When the fines hit, you won't be able to afford him!”_ Gianna shouted after busting into the conversation, only for the merchant to run off to contact her lawyer.  “ _Ah, that was good. I love nailing Asari. So ageless and superior, then you get them, and they squeal like schoolgirls. Now I’ve got to go file a few papers and next assignment awaits.”_

_“It's been a pleasure, Gianna”_ Garrus nodded. The inspector was generous enough to pay him with a handful of credits, easily enough to buy some upgrades and soothe Shepard for him. He barely noticed how close Gianna stood to him.

 

                _“You too, Garrus. See you around._ _Ah, hell with it...”_ She kissed his mandible before he could properly react. _“Much better than an autograph. Don’t be a stranger, Garrus,”_ Gianna hummed with fire in her voice.

 

                She left, not noticing a jealous ***growl*** coming from Shepard. Daggers seemed to jutt out of her eyes at him.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Liara knew Shepard had arrived on Ilium and was headed to meet her. She was mentally planning her conversation and reaction to her new appearance.  At least she had been when she'd been caught in a conversation with another client.  _“Have you faced an asari commando unit before?  Few humans have.  Fewer have survived.  I’ll make it simple. Either you pay me, or I flay you alive. With my mind,”_ she snarled when Shepard entered to her dismay.

 

                A pregnant pause lingered as she turned to greet her.  She'd gotten a word and visual evidence that Cerberus had to transfer her mind to a turian body, but simply seeing it physically was something she couldn't prepare for. She still has nightmares of Shepard's mangled corpse before she handed it to Cerberus. Liara didn't need the Commander getting on her case for such a decision right now, so she figured she may as well play it safe.

 

Closing her distance, Liara cupped Shepard's face, still in little shock, but gradually accepting. Under her finger, she clearly feels turian flesh a new face look at her but behind those green eyes was her old friend.  _“Shepard!  I can't believe they actually pulled it off!”_

 

_“Yeah… they did, Liara.”_  Shepard was surprised that Liara knew about Cerberus' attempts at reviving her.  _"You didn’t seem surprised to see me like that."_

 

                Liara moves her hand away from her pointing to her chair that she can use. With a little nod, she welcomes Garrus and Miranda.  Liara seemed to have significantly aged the last time Jane saw her. Aesthetically, the asari seemed to have put on a couple of centuries since then. _“My sources said you were alive, but I never believed... It's very good to see you.”_  

 

                That made Shepard's mandible move in surprise. "You have sources now?"

 

                _“A few. Sources, contacts, even a little-hired muscle. I've been working as an information broker._ _It's paid the bills since you... well, it was long two years._ _And now you're back, gunning for the Collectors with Cerberus."_

_“If you know that, you know that I could use your help. Just like old times, Liara.”_

 

                _”I can't, Shepard. I'm sorry. I have commitments here. Things I need to take care of,”_ she sighed monotonically, hinting at something. _“I had to get my feet wet and my hands dirty since your disappearance, Shepard. I have debts to pay. This is Ilium, Shepard. Anything you and I said is probably being recorded.  I know you'll understand.”_ The room once again became silent.  Liara was risking her neck to inform her. It was clear where her loyalties lay, but her priorities were elsewhere. 

 

_“Is there anything I could do to repay for your help with paperwork?”_

_“Just a little leg work.  If you could disable security at key points around Ilium, you could get me the information I need. That would help me a great deal.”_ Liara was glad that Shepard catch her warning.

 

_“If that will help you, I'll take care of it.”_

Garrus was still in little shock seeing Liara in her current state.  She seemed so young and innocent a couple years ago.  The small talk continued between two friends before they're forced to depart for the next mission. They knew localization of Samara, but Thane Krios' whereabouts were still unclear. Despite Liara's friendly exterior, it was apparent that the asari was still hiding something. In their way to Officer Dara, they quickly hack terminals for Liara in hopes that will accelerate her search on Thane.

 

++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Shepard was lost hearing the officer's interpretation of Justicars. They embodied asari's highest laws, and they typically staid in asari space. They were bound by honor code, bent on stopping lawbreakers with lethal force.  Worst case scenario, they could spark a political incident. Shepard need to see her for herself before making any final decisions.

 

_“Just be polite when you meet her!”_ the officer shouted as they left the office.

 

                The Justicar was the least of the port's current problems. Eclipse mercs, death, and chaos in a summary, that what awaits her behind guarded doors. Before all hell broke loose, they stopped by the local detective for more information.

 

                _“Nice guns. Try not to use them in my district. What can I do for you?”_ The asari detective looked exhausted.

 

_“I'm looking for an asari warrior named Samara,”_ Jane asked simply.

 

 

                _“If you've got a score to settle with Samara, take it somewhere else, I've got more than enough trouble already and I'm falling behind on my quota.”_

_“I need to recruit Samara for my mission, then we'll be on our way.”_   

 

The following conversation was very informative. Justicars usually worked alone but were often drawn to challenges with steep odds.

_"I've been sifting over crime scenes for four centuries now, and this case is testing my limit.  Her Code is causing problems and my superiors want me to detain her.  However, her code won't allow me to and I'm not looking to have my ass liquidated, so if you could get her out of here before she causes a cross-species incident, that'd be great.  So how about you head down there, ask what the hell she's looking for, then get her off the planet surface.  You get that?"_   With that information, they move out to meet Samara.

 

++++++++++++++++++++

                Despite her calm demeanor, all she could feel right now was an irritated pounding. She was closer to her target than she'd been in decades, only for the local Eclipse detachment to let her escape off-planet. She could've ended her quest right here, finally be at peace and conclude her journey. _“Tell me what I need to know, and I will be gone.  I'm only asking one more time: where did you send her?”_

_"You'd think I'd_ tell _you?  Do you know what she'd do in retaliation?"_

                She effortlessly tossed the merc against the wall like a ragdoll.  She pinned her neck to the ground by her boot.  _“What was the name of the ship she left on?”_ Samara asked impatiently.

 

_“Go to hell!”_ the merc spat.

 

                She rolled her eyes.  _“Find peace in the embrace of the goddess.”_ Gathering a ball of biotic energy, she crushes the merc's head like a melon in a fantastic display of violet. Only now she notices a new group lead by a female turian.

 

Something seemed strangely inconsistent about the group. The first was clearly a Cerberus operative, wearing a tight white and black suit with flowing black hair, but it didn't explain her connection to the others.  The male turian with blue markings was clearly a member of the Vakarian clan, but why he was out here was unclear. Her focus again shifted towards a leader, tall with black hide and silver plates with red markings that Samara saw the first time. The turianess movement was unusual there were was no typical turian greetings and her aura was strangely distorted.

 

She introduces herself as Shepard, a turian Spectre, here to recruit her in a mission to stop the Collectors. The Specter initially appeared to be ignorant of her status, but she quickly grew to respect the turian.  She was strong-willed, bound by her own ethical code, and clearly capable.  There was something odd about her too.  She behaves more like a human than a turian.

 

However, her mission against the practically mythical race did conflict with her own mission. Samara explains that her target had fled Illium and it’s in her duty to eliminate her target. Worse, as fate would have it, the detective returned to take her into custody.  Reluctantly, she agreed to comply for another galactic day before she would break out on her own terms. Shepard claimed she would help and let her go before too long.

 

_“Do that, and I will join you.”_  Without another word, she departs with the detective back to her station.

 

++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Samara wants to know more about this strange Spectre.  Visually, there was nothing wrong with her, but her aura suggested otherwise.

 

                _“Detective, do you have access to surveillance cameras so we could watch her?”_

_“Lost signal a few minutes ago, but I can.  Why?  Do you know something about her?"_

_“Perhaps... I must see for myself.“_ From security camera footage, she watched Shepard and her squad. They cut through the Eclipse mercs cleanly and efficiently. She even forced one to surrender before learning a bit about Samara's target and local Eclipse group. The merc was ready to leave when the commander pointed her weapon at her.

 

                _“Thanks for information Elnora, but I know how Eclipse work. You've gotta kill at least once to join their ranks. Surrender and I will spare your life.”_   Panicking, the merc attempted to retaliate before being gunned down. From there, there were no more cameras to watch from.

 

                Justicar used a free terminal to dig deeper into this mystery turian. Shepard has nothing a blank page with a photo and vague information about her vessel, the Normandy SR2.  Even into the deep stretches of asari space, the Alliance Normandy had made itself well known. However, this conflicted with the fact Shepard was human and had died two galactic standard years prior.  This was a cause for concern and made her question swearing an oath to the turian. Despite the contradictions, the coincidences couldn't be ignored. But the code demand that she would keep her word and there was no way around it. 

 

                It wasn’t long before Jane and her team manage to gather all information about the ship, the Volus' corrupt cargo, and evidence detailing Elnora's murder of another merchant. Shepard preferred she'd be alive for interrogation, but circumstances prevented such. Regardless, the information would be beneficial for the detective's work. The Justicar seems pleased with her finding and her knowledge about Ardat-Yakshi. Jane was open to discussing further and helping with her endeavor. Samara knelt with a biotic bloom and muttered,  _“By the Code, I will serve you, Shepard. Your choices are my choices, your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code.”_

 

                _“I can see this is a very important act, Samara. Thank you.”_

 

_“Truly, the life of a Justicar can get lonely. I admit I am looking forward to serving with a company of honorable heroes.”_

 

                _“Let’s hope they won’t disappoint you,”_  Shepard replied with a handshake, a custom exclusive to humans. Even after all her decades of travels, Samara never meets someone who peaks her curiosity so greatly as her new Commander, this will be a journey of her life.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 3k hits you guys are awesome! Thanks again for Dr_Compass for helping me with this chapter and we will see you next time.


	23. Here Am I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today will be double chapter update I hope you will enjoy.

 

 

For once, fate smiled upon Samara.  It appeared that new missions awaited them after overhearing a conversation between Shepard and the information broker Liara. The young Asari was famous in the information business and was a former crew member of the old Normandy. The job was an opportunity the Justicar didn’t deny it will be a great opportunity to watch Shepard.  In the meantime, the Cerberus operative still had a personal errand, so Shepard brought Jacob and Grunt to assist. The young krogan seemed confused by Samara, oddly unaware of the strength some Asari bore. Jacob, on the other hand, was a more welcoming individual.

 

 _“With your skill, I think you'll be an excellent addition to our team,”_ he greeted.

 

 _“Thank you. From an organization such as yours, that is high praise indeed.”_ Samara was a little surprised by the lack of hostility from the Cerberus operative. For the pro-human organization’s xenophobic tendencies, it was a welcome surprise.

 

In the meantime, Shepard learns more about Thane whereabouts and his next target. Nassana, as Shepard remembered, tricked her into killing one of her pirate sisters. Since then, she’d consolidated a nice pocket of power under her on Nos Astra, keeping her friends subservient and her enemies dead. Thane Krios was hired to kill her and now on route to her office at the top of the Dantius Towers. With the assistance of a local officer, they slipped into the bottom of the second tower that still was under construction. The first few minutes prove that stories about Nassana ruthlessness were true when they witnessed her security mechs gunning down her own workers. Before their departure, the officer had painted for them a graphic description of her work conditions.

 

Samara was pleased with Shepard’s compassion amidst combat. Despite the krogan’s age, it was still surprising to see a krogan soldier follow the command of a turian. After some back and forth, she learned the krogan quickly learned to respect her, having seen her in combat, fully intending to follow her orders and assist in combat.

 

                _“Really? This guy? Why?”_  Grunt ask after Shepard help one dying salarian.

_“Good deed often costs nothing, Grunt.  Besides, a little good karma can go a long ways,”_  Jane explained.

 

 _“The tank taught me that the week should be left behind,”_ he shrugged.

 

 _“Every warrior starts weak.  Remember that”_ Jane counted.    

 

Samara hopes that Shepard understands how important she is to this youngling. He is looking at her, learning from her, in the end, she is the force that shapes him. Shepard synchronized well with her team. With a biometric discharge, she yanked a group of mercs on a weak platform before Vakarian shot the supports underneath, causing the team to drop down a large, empty shaft. Her leadership was undeniable with each passing level they clear with next live saved it becomes less important for Samara who her commander was. Only now matter. Female turian is worth following if she is unwilling to share her story so be it.

 

++++++++++++

 

Thane heard and felt another explosion rumble from few floors below him.  He was in position with a clear view on the bridge he could finally take a closer look at the new group that arrived. He was admittedly curious as to the third party involved.  The group wasn’t showing any self-restraint, possibly giving room for him to operate in. Taking his binoculars out, he got a better view. It was a mixed species team, lead by a female turian with krogan, human, asari, and Archangel, strangely enough.

 

He’d gotten word that the Omega gangs finally finished off the vigilante leader, and he was initially inclined to believe the gang’s claims. How Archangel could’ve escaped was unclear, much less why he was taking orders rather than giving them.  The team leader is what concerns him most, being the unknown variable of the team. He’ll still advance on the target, but he’s got an eye fixed on her for now.

 

In his mind’s eye, he remembers. _‘Female, Alliance Navy leading a small group in the Citadel to save it from geth attack. He saw her only for a minute, red hair green eyes together with turian and a krogan they destroy a group of the enemy on one single coordinated attack.’_ Snapping back to reality, he realizes her movements and gestures are all the same, even down to the coordination with the other turian.  The thought was dark, one of the few to make him shiver. He would need to find the truth with her in person.  Calming down, he folded his hands to prayer.

 

 _“Amonkira. Lord of Hunters. Gran that my hands be steady, my aim be true, and my feet swift. And should the worst come to pass, grant me forgiveness.”_ With that, he faded into the shadows.  Thane crawled quietly through the vents, overhearing the conversation below, waiting for the right opportunity. Faster than they can respond, he drops from the vent, snaps the neck of the first, throws a dagger at the second, draws the first’s sidearm to gun down the third, and closes the distance to Nassana before delivering a gutshot.  Laying her down on her desk, he cupped his hands for one last prayer.

 

 _“I was hoping to talk to you,”_ she interrupted.

 

 _“I apologize, but prayers for the wicket must not be forsaken,”_ Thane explains looking at the rest of the group. They seem relaxed, yet untrusting.

 

 _“Do you really think she deserves it?”_ Jane scoffs, gesturing to the dead asari.

_“Not for her. For me.”_  Moving around the table, he continues, _“The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone. Take you, for instance. All this destruction... chaos. I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me… Commander Shepard.”_  Thane ended his monolog looking at female turian not even flinging when black skinned operative leveled his weapon at him.

 

She seems unfazed by his introduction, but the tone of her **subvocal** said otherwise.  _“How do you know I was coming at all?”_

_“Let’s just say that Commander Shepard isn’t known for a quiet entrance,”_ he nodded, inspecting her. When she was fighting her body and soul become one but now he clearly sees division. Her aura shifted and become ‘disconnected’ but was fighting it, trying to balance itself.

_“Why you calling me Commander Shepard?”_ her voice steady with a little hint of curiosity?

_“I never forget someone’s fighting style. Yours is unique, prominently displayed at the Battle of the Citadel. A story about your transformation can wait.  I’m willing to discuss matters.  After all, you did provide a convenient distraction.”_ She gestured to the others to lower their weapons, yet the Cerberus operative kept his weapon trained.

Samara watches closely their interaction. The Drell confirmed her suspicion that this turian is Shepard. They are known for their unrealistically accurate photographic memory. The problem that continued to nag the Justicar was the fact that she shouldn’t still be alive.  The Asari have documented the history of successful transplantation of consciousness, albeit the patients die soon after surgery. How Shepard was the exception wasn’t apparent. After mentioning his withering condition, he agreed to join the crew, free of charge.

 

With things wrap up nicely they were ready to back into Normandy and take well-deserved rest only to Miranda to welcome them with concern painted on her face.  _“Commander, could I have your attention for a minute?”_

 

 _“Spill it, Miranda._ _”_

 

It was the first time Jane saw her like that. Miranda wasn’t someone who would yield to their gut instinct, so disclosing the situation about her younger sister was a surprise to be sure. Miranda didn’t want the crew involved, leaving Shepard and Garrus to help her. The latter wasn’t happy about the idea. He could tell Shepard was tired; heading out for another few hours was putting her life on the line. Regardless, she was persistent.  

 

++++++++++++++++

 

Samara was surprised when they enter the Cerberus vessel.  The crew seemed nice and Yeoman Chambers took the liberty of showing her around the ship. Since Chambers seemed to love running her mouth, she got a better idea of Shepard as a turian. Now with her own personal space, she started meditating to clear her mind. This mission will be like no others. Thane thoroughly reminded them that no one had ever returned from the Omega 4 Relay. However, Shepard made a name for herself achieving the impossible.

 

In another part of the ship Thane unloads in his cabin a dry air is a welcome change. He is still impressed by Shepard and her team. The bridge when he saw her first should be a death trap but they cut them without even stopping. The round around ship with Yeoman Chambers become his information mine, so Archangel survived and he was a Vakarian that was surprising news.

 

Samara and Thane knew better a layer of good words and few smiles mean nothing a small pile of wiretaps is proof of this. After all, Cerberus is still Cerberus. Samara and Thane sigh, they are more than sure that this crew was built specially for Shepard they only hope that she is aware of that.

 

++++++++++++++++

 

Garrus hated it when his instinct proved correct. It was a mission better suited for a fresh mind after a solid night of sleep. A few close calls left Shepard limping away with a throbbing bruise on her shoulder. Despite his betrayal, she thought it necessary to spare Niket, Miranda’s old friend and inside man. After he was then gunned down by the Eclipse captain, Miranda completely let loose, using her biotics to their fullest. Despite her cold, unfeeling exterior, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat sympathetic to the Cerberus agent.

 

As a child, she was essentially robbed of a life of her own choosing, gradually being groomed by her father. She escaped, shedding everything from that period of her life, save for Niket. The late Niket had been vital for her, assisting in her escape.  This time, her father had convinced Niket otherwise and had the poor man in his back pocket.  On a brighter note, they did beat her father’s grunts to her sister, ensuring her safe transition. Holding Shepard under his arm they watch Miranda reunited with her sister and family. Smiling, the two limped back to the Normandy, fatigue finally taking its toll.    

 

++++++++++++++++

 

It was middle of the night cycle and most of the ship’s crew had already clocked out for the day. She still needed a touch of medigel, but she didn’t feel like waking Karen. Her exhaustion and stiffness were increasingly tempting on the other hand and Garrus refused to release her. Deciding to let him follow back to her cabin. _“Undress for now. I’ll be back up in a minute,”_ he said before returning to the crew deck.

 

She didn’t know what he was planning but figured there was no point in avoiding it. She still needed medical attention and a good rest. She removes her top just as Garrus re-entered, something in his hands just out of her sight. Without a word, he positions himself behind her and without warning, she feels his hand on her blade-scale with something cold with a strange smell.

 

                _“ **Ga… Garrus!** What are you…”_  Her line of thought is interrupted as she feels his hand apply the cool sensation, something clearly not medigel. With another sharp breath, she simply gives up and let his do his work. The minutes pass, he was moving on her back, hands, and chest. Each move he made helped her relax and made it harder for her to suppress her subvocal.  

 

Finally hearing a low ***purr*** from Garrus sighed, _“I’ve noticed recently that you’ve been taking showers rather frequently.  Is that correct **Jane?** ”_

 

She only nods, just letting him explain further.

 

 _“For turians, it is unhealthy to shower this often.  Once or twice a week should be enough. Our bodies create a small layer of ‘oil’ on their own to help keep scale and hide healthy. It prevents the hide from drying out, keeps it strong,”_ he explained, continuing to slather the substance. _“This is special regenerative oil straight from Palaven. It’ll help with that bruise.  It’s not as good as a medigel, but a better remedy for this sort of injury.”_

_“When did you get this stuff?”_ she prompted.

 

                _“While you were hacking terminals for Liara, I order some just in case,”_ he explained as she turned to smile.

 

_“Good call.”_

 

_“Yeah… **Jane,** just don’t push yourself to the limit next time.  That last mission would’ve been easier with a good night’s rest.”_

 

                _“You’re right. But we were short on time.”_

 

 _“Let’s hope that pays off.”_ The room becomes quiet, the two quietly looking at each other. Garrus did understand that the mission was necessary to gain Miranda’s trust and loyalty. Still, in thought, he didn’t notice that Shepard move forward and started to undress him. He looks at her questionably, only to be interrupted by a small kiss to his mouth.

 

 _“I'm getting pretty good at this”_ Jane said with a smirk. _“But some more practice wouldn't hurt. What say you?”_ She didn’t wait for his answer. “ _Besides I'm sure that the last explosion took a toll on you.”_ By now, he was shirtless, followed by the coolness from her hands on his chest plates. Unfortunately, her movements were still uncoordinated and confused.

 

 _“Let me guide you, **Jane.** ” _ He guides her hands on his body as she applies the oil to his plates. It was an action that had great implications in turian culture, an action she hopefully understood. Minutes slow down both of them caring for each other with a little touch here a kiss there. But her movement becomes slow her eyes heavy. His heat and low vibration didn’t help, Jane feel like kid benign lush into bed. She let her body find support in him

 

 _“Please **Garrus** be here when I wake up” _ with that she falls asleep on his chest fatigue finally caught up with her.

 

++++++++++++++++

 

Jane slowly wakes up feeling fresh again Garrus oil make its magic in the night. She feels Garrus under her body one of his hand wrap around her waist. So he did stay with her it makes her emit a low ***purr*** that makes him shift a little.  With his eyes open they greet each other with forehead kiss. Without any plan, they both just lay enjoying the moment.

 

 _“Garrus, after we help Miranda I start to wonder how turian family is like”_  she asks him, gently scratching his chest.

 

 _“What do you mean”_ there was something in his voice uncertainty and maybe some fear?

_“I mean I know you have a sister, I talk with her but how close are you two? How turian society works on clan level”_ she continues looking at him. Garrus wasn’t sure how and where to start but Shepard deserves it. Taking a deep breath he explains.

 

_“We are militaristic and discipline it is in our blood even stronger after Unification War. Most turian families have two children usually one son and one daughter. So you could say that my is a prime example. There are no rules of what you could become there is no gender stereotypes or only man or woman work. On the other hand, the Clan is what really defines you, **Jane**. Sometimes it’s just impossible to become someone else… The Vakarian Clan is well known for its involvement in the law department not only on Citadel but on Palaven as well. Because of my father involvement in C-Cec, he wasn’t at home as often as he should be. It leads to create a strong bond with my sister **Solana** and my mother **Martha** ” _

 

Shepard feel his vibration when he spoke her mother name there was sadness behind it. Stroking him gently she encouraged him to talk further.

 

_“Me and my father never really agree with how things should look like and standard military training at the age of 16 didn’t help cement a bond. In later years and many hacks, we simply avoided each other trying to not provoke a confrontation”_

_“What about your sister?”_

_“She was part of the military called “Blackwatch” A team of exceptionally skilled Special Ops soldiers, they are sent on missions that threaten the safety of Palaven itself. But now she is in home helping there. For many years we were inseparable until it was her time to join the military before me. With one of the best results she was given an opportunity to become part of the “Blackwatch” after that contact with her become limited but she always finds time to talk with me or just simply send “Happy Birthday”_ He hopes that she will not ask him about his mother it’s not easy topic and he didn’t want her to worry.

 

 _“Thank you **Garrus** for sharing this with me,” _ Jane said kissing his mandible. She knew that for some reason Garrus didn’t want to talk about her mother and Jane will respect that.

 

                _“So… what are your plan for today **Jane**?” _  he asks scratching her back slowly moving down

 

 _“Well **Garrus** , there is no more dossier send by Miranda. And I’m open to the proposition” _Jane said with a little vibe in her voice her hand slowly move downwards his stomach.

 

 _“Commander Illusive man calling you with important information he is awaiting you in com room”_ the idyllic mood was brake by Joker in speakers.

 

 _“I will be right there”_  Jane manage to say it calmly but inside, she was angry as hell. Moving up she quickly dress giving Garrus goodbye kiss before leaving him.

 

 

The Illusive Man become visible to her again with his signature cigarettes.

 

_“Shepard, we caught a break. I intercepted a distress call from a turian patrol. They stumbled on to a Colletor ship beyond the Korlus system”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thanks for all kudos and comments you guys are great! As always thanks to Dr_Compass for helping me with this chapter. See you next time.


	24. The Blackwatch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today will be double chapter update I hope you will enjoy.

 

It was quiet.  All the other squadmates were already on their designated seats, each of them in standard dark camo armor. They all stood up when General Pririus Achadonis enter the room. Tall, almost all white with grey markings and a long scar across his face.  He was epidemy of the ‘skull face’ insult humans were prone to tossing around. Keeping his still, emotionless face, he nods at them to let them know they can sit again.  

 

 _“Listen closely, because I’m not repeating anything.  A lot hinges on this mission, including the safety of the Hierarchy and the goodwill of turians across the galaxy,”_ he started while a projection slide of images of a female turian in combat displayed behind him. 

Solana was taken back by lack of instruction, but like others, she watched closely. The first one was taking place on some space station lots of turian mercs; another on a desert planet. The images were distorted, borderline unsalvageable.  The turian female was the primary focus. On the last clip her heart misses a bit, Solana recognizes Omega the moment clip played. All of them watched female turian mop the bridge with the mercs, a few others are picked off by sniper fire. It was when Shepard went to Garrus’ aid during the end of his time on the station. For other turians, that revelation would make them sick but Solana was too well trained to let other knows that she feels anything. After all, this is just the next mission. The vid ended, leaving most of the platoon impressed. Her combat style was unconventional, unlike anything taught at basic or further in your life in a turian military.

 

 _“Before we start, does anyone want out?  I’m asking a lot of you for this one,”_ Achadonis asked, looking around.

 

Blackwatch has a simple way of briefing their crews. They show you a glimpse of the mission, let their members personally evaluate if they’re up to the task. With no outside contact, some members had been in the program for every year since boot camp.  It saved the shame of retreating later. Solana wasn’t a coward and she was desperate for some better insight on her brother. Times up and no one move from their seat.

 

 _“This is the Hierarchy’s new Spectre, Commander Jane Shepard,”_ Achadonis explained. The screen behind him then displayed her profile and record. The last few images showed her face after she’d taken up the markings. _“Our job is to follow the target and track her movements. So long as she doesn’t step out of line, let her be. The moment she breaks, take her out.”_     

 

Now screen starts to show next know squadmates on a ship called “Normandy SR2” along with the various crewmembers, Garrus included. Blackwatch demanded some ties be cut.  However, her CO was now eyeing her, questioning if she was up to the task.

 

 _“How far can she go before she dies,”_ Solana pressed, keeping her tone flat.

 

 _“We cannot allow that another Saren emerges, if she starts down the same path, we won’t allow it,”_ Achadonis answered calmly looking at her and others. Sol was perhaps the most unfeeling, most dedicated member of the team. _“She’s most recently caught our attention when she acquired a certain graybox.  Intel indicates it contains implications that could spark another human-turian conflict. We don’t know what her plans are…”_

_“Based on the name, are you telling us this…”_ Kasius Caeldros a red and black turian started, pointing at the screen _“…thing is the human Commander Shepard?”_

 

The general only nodded before pulling up another image on the screen.  It was a human, the image taken some three to six years prior, with shoulder-length hair, a goatee, white clothes, and a twisted grin.  _“He’s our primary target. We only know him as ‘Adam.’  He’s the man who made Agent Lawson the new body to transfer the dead commander’s mind into. The rest is history,”_ Achadonis explained, showing Adam and Miranda’s dossiers. _“The implications that Cerberus can make infiltration units like this could mean they’ve started sending sleeper agents into our space.  Our job is to confirm their capabilities in producing more, copy any research, and destroy their researches and original works. Knowing Commander Shepard, she could help us get through to Lawson and stop the ‘Avatar’ Project. We don’t know if she’s being manipulated by Cerberus internally, so we might have to take her down.”_

_“Are you sure this is her?  For all we know, this is a red herring or some barefaced impersonator,”_ another squadmate interrupted.

_“Scans of her body indicate it’s designed to hold out for subconscious transplants. We are sure that Cerberus wouldn’t bother with a fake Shepard. Shepard does have quite the silver tongue, and risking that would be detrimental to their cause,”_ Achadonis concluded, ending the debate.   _“We know that Normandy intercepted a distress call from a ‘turian patrol’. That suggests that they stumbled on to a Collectors ship beyond the Korlus system. The transmission is fake and intel suggests the Cerberus leader is aware of this. Regardless, they’re sending her in.  Watch from distance and patch into their radio. Worst case scenario, she dies here. Orders are to intervene to prevent that. We move in five.”_

 

++++++++++++++++++

 

The mess became quiet after Jane’s debriefing. They were already in Karlous system and approaching their designated coordinates.  Two teams would be boarding the damaged ship; one consisted of Miranda, Mordin, Samara, and Grunt, the other consisted of herself, Garrus, Kasumi, and Jack. Jakob, Zaeed, and Thane remained on the ship in to protect the crew from counterattack. Miranda was surprised, suspecting they would only need a small team to breach.  

 

                _“Commander, are you sure that we need this many crew member along? With the EDI’s help…”_  

 

_“Nothing about this mission is as it seems, Miranda.”_

_“But information is solid, there is no way…”_

_“The last time I had my pants down, I got spaced.  We’re going in ready for a fight.”_ With that said they were finally in visible range of the ship that tore the SR1 in half. Suspicions only grew when they didn’t detect any hull breaches on the side or any mass effect field distortions. Not wanting to waste more time, the two teams move in to examine the ship.

 

++++++++++++++++++

                  

Solana sat in Achadonis office. He asked her to visit him while they were on route.   _“I will be honest with you Sol. It doesn’t look. We still have no indication as to what she’ll do with the graybox and half her team is composed of mercenaries and loose cannons,”_ Achadonis sighed.

 

                _“Shepard as a human showed great caution regarding galactic law and standards, especially when she ordered her own people to put their lives in front of the Council’s. Also, she seems to have readily accepted her new markings. I believe my brother will keep her in check,”_ Solana replied calmly. Garrus maybe immature and impulsive, but was probably the best of Shepard’s current crew. 

_“I think you will have to reconsider your view of your brother. Garrus has changed since he left C-Sec,”_ Archadonis countered, tossing her a datapad depicting his record as ‘Archangel.’ Solana was clearly distressed as she passively looked over the record. The last few years had taken a considerable toll on Garrus’ personality. She remembers them playing together when their father wasn’t home. His smile always gives her strength during a hard time. She always listens to his stories he was her window into normal words, normal problems. But this… how much did Shepard really mean to him? After Saren’s defeat, he did go back to the C-Sec and even showed Solana a sniper rifle that Shepard gifted to him before she departed on her last mission. _“It is the last chance Sol, the evidence here is enough to deem your brother unworthy of his clan status if reviled. I don’t think I need to remind you to remember your place.”_

 

++++++++++++++++++

 

                _“Was it worth it?”_ Shepard hissed at the Illusive Man.  The ship was a death trap. A very creepy trap like an empty beehive with empty pods as far as the eye could see. Collectors were actually captured and converted Protheans, repurposed as the Reapers’ hands on the field. EDI also confirmed that the distress call was a lure for them.

 

 _“We're at war. The Collectors are taking humans, and every minute we waste is one more we give the enemy to prepare. It was a trap... but I was confident in your abilities. And don't forget EDI. The Collectors couldn’t have anticipated her,”_ he snarled. She was willing to let this slide, but others may not be as forgiving. With further discussion, she learns she’ll need an IFF to get into Collector territory.  A Cerberus facility had managed to salvage one, but had since gone quiet. In the meantime, she needs to build trust again, the crew needs more time to prepare, and she really needs a good technician on her team. _“In the meantime... I suggest you tell your crew I didn't risk their lives unnecessarily.”_

 

++++++++++++++++++

 

                _“So this is how things are.”_ Shepard painted the whole picture in its entirety to her crew. Most didn’t seem surprised that Illusive Man would willingly send them into a trap. Miranda and Jacob felt the bitter sting of betrayal, feeling their loyalty to the organization would make them less expendable. Jack was fuming at the prospect, wisps of biotic energy snapping off her.

 

                _“This is the plan. We’ve got a death wish, and I know some of you need closure before we get that Reaper IFF. If you have anything on your mind or have ideas on how to upgrade the Normandy, talk to me or Miranda.”_  Jane rolled her shoulders and continued, _“On top of that, I want another engineer on the team to help I know we don’t have any new dossiers, but someone with some technical know-how would really help for these last preparations.  Miranda?”_

 

_“Yes, commander?”_

 

                _“See what you can do to find Tali’Zorah.  She’s probably the best engineer who’s served under me.”_

   

++++++++++++++++++

 

Samara was meditating in her room, still processing the debriefing. The Illusive Man hadn’t left her with a positive first impression and it left her in a state of distrust. She was positively surprised when Shepard enters her room. _“Shepard.  I wasn’t expecting this.”_

_“I like knowing my crew.  How are you?”_

 

A smile grew across Samara’s face.  The encounter with the Collectors left her bitter and meditation wasn’t helping to ease her mind.   _“I've spent much of the last 400 years on my own; it's nice to have a colleague to chat with. I may be rusty, but if you are patient, I would love to talk.”_

 

 _“What do think about our mission?  Didn’t leave you too battered, did it?”_  Jane started, sitting next to her.

 

                _“I have sworn my oath to you and I will see it through. You’ve shown me your tactical prowess. Knowing your enemy is the first step to victory, now you need to better understand yourself. That is enough for me.”_ She further explains, _“When you live by a code that compels you to harsh action, you learn the dangers of curiosity. If I must kill a man, do I really wish to know that he is a devoted father? If I choose to follow someone, is important that she was reborn in a new body?”_ As she spoke, she continued to study Shepard’s reactions.

 

_“I hope you don’t feel cheated, Samara… It is true Cerberus transfer my consciousness to this new body.”_

_“As I said earlier, curiosity can be dangerous.  However, your sincerity is welcome here. Do not dwell on such trivia as your body, Shepard. You show your capability as leader before and you showed it aboard the Collector Ship.”_ They spoke for some time mainly exchange ideas about tactics and their knowledge about fighting style. Samara even proposed Shepard help with stress by meditating stating that turians requires lots of space and expend too much energy.  Thanking for her offer Shepard moved to meet Thane. Sparingly she meets him in the training area located in the hangar he offers her sparing mat. He is glad that the ship has such great equipment, but he sees room for improvement. 

 

                _“You learn much more when you spar,”_ he offers. Shepard accepts, still feeling on edge after their escape from the Collector Ship. Changing to her standard sparing gear, she prepared to face the assassin.  It was different then sparing Garrus.  He was more reserved and tried to teach her rather than fight her. Thane didn’t hold back and displayed great strength and speed. Between blows, he talks about himself about his religion's view.

 

Thane shared the history of his people, how Hanar saved some of them while his planet crumbled in chaos. After several exhausting rounds, the two thanked each other and parted ways.  She was hoping to talk with Garrus at some point.  The mission needed a second leader, and Garrus had earned both the crew’s respect and hers. Thinking how to approach the topic, she found him in the armory.  

 

 _“I was wondering when you’d show up.  Armor won’t clean itself,”_ he greeted.

 

 _“Yea, I was catching up with our new crew members,”_ Shepard chuckled, moving next to him putting her armor on the table inspecting it. _“Thane isn’t your typical assassin.  Has a lot of philosophy on his mind; guy’s basically a monk,”_ she joked. _“I hope you are not jealous._ ”

 

                _“Me? **Jane,** please… Joker was kind enough to send me the footage from the cargo hold.”_

_“I learned from the best. Also did some meditation with Samara.  I think you’d like it.”_ The vibration in her tone caught his attention.   _“I was thinking of doing some a couple hours a day from here on out.  What do you think?”_

_“You can barely stand still for two minutes. I doubt you’d be able to pull off two hours,”_ he scoffed, closing his distance to her, kissing her forehead.

 

                _“Yeah.  I like turian way better anyways.”_ She met his gesture with a low ***purr***

****

The doors into armory swoosh open suddenly and Jack came inside looking even angrier and stress then after the mission. _“Shepard, there you are! Garrus, I need to borrow your girlfriend.  She’ll be back with all her limbs._

 

                He barely had time to process the interruption.  _What just happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thanks for all kudos and comments you guys are great! As always thanks to Dr_Compass for helping me with this chapter. See you next time.


	25. Valentine Bonus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for fun, probably not 'canon' definitely NSFW

 

It wasn’t long after Shepard helped Jacob and Jack with personal matters before they found Tali on a burning planet.  They had received a distress call from a small turian colony under attack by raiders. The mercs assumed the colony would be easy pickings given it lacked any proper military presence, at least until Shepard came to clean house.  After killing most, destroying their transports off-world, and maiming the rest, the mercs surrendered for the Hierarchy military to apprehend.

 

                The planet was vibrant and colorful with the strangest cloud formation Shepard ever seen, relatively similar to Palavin according to Garrus.  It was a gorgeous scene, with sunlight peeking through the clouds creating purple and red rays. It was getting late and Jane was ready to call it a night.  They’d be heading to Tuchanka as Grunt was acting up and one of Solus’ former teammates was being held captive planetside. They were ready to leave when a colonist approached them.  _“We couldn’t thank you enough.  We don’t have much to pay you with, but perhaps we could offer a night at our Paradise of Baths.”_  

 

 _“Is… is it that that famous network of galaxy famous saunas?”_ Tali asked with excitement.

 

                _“My great great grand-father is Postuius Mercasis, the founder of our great Bath Empire. I’m Arrusius Mercasis, at your service. It would be my pleasure to host your entire crew for your help against the pirate attack.”_

Shepard initially thought of turning down the offer, but she was stiff, tired, and they hadn’t gotten proper rest in a week.  Even any small break would be a warm welcome.  Without other options to choose from, she agrees to take an offer.  The crew was grateful at the prospect of a few days off in a spa haven with over a hundred baths to choose from.

 

                She was impressed by the sight of the literal paradise. The great hall was frequently staffed with people ready to help if needed. Jane got a double room for herself and Garrus. Only when the room opens she notice that it was decorated with thousands of hearts that were made form something like petals. _“I’m sorry this but we currently have Valentine theme rooms if you wish we could remove it or find another one,”_ the attendant apologized while Shepard inspected the room. 

 

The fight against the Reapers had distracted her from the passing time, and she hadn’t realized it was already February. _“Valentine?”_ Garrus glanced back with confusion.

 

 _“From what I read heard and observed it is probably human equivalent of our **Fertilitatem Festival.** ” _  

 

                _“I think we will be good,”_ he hummed, glancing at Shepard as she sniffed a bouquet of flowers. He recognized the species as the ‘ _Flore Temporum Fertilitatis’_ from Palaven.

 

                _“So… could **you** tell me more about this ‘Valentine’s Day?’” _ he inquired, hugging her from behind.

               

                _“You’re asking the wrong person, Garrus.  Never dated back in the Alliance,”_ She answered, quietly putting her hands on his. _“I wasn’t aware that it was already February… we already missed Christmas.”_

_“Christmas…?”_ Now he was even more confused.

 

 _“Long story short… most people celebrate it in religion reason… some celebrate it just to give each other present but almost all spend this time with family… But Valentine’s Day…”_  She slowly turned to face him, holding one of the flowers in her hand.

Once again, the door burst open and an almost naked Jack burst inside. _“Here you are, Shepard… shit, you got some nice digs in here! Anyways, the girls have got things set up.  Let’s go!”_

 

Before Garrus or Shepard could do anything, Jack already yanked her by the arm into the corridor and further into the facility. He’d been left with a buzzing annoyance.  It was the second time Jack now had yanked Jane away just as they were about to have a good lay.  Then a hand landed on his shoulder.

 

                _“There you are, lad.  Come along, you’re doin’ no good just standing here.”_ It was Zaeed, in turn taking him away.

 

+++++++++++++

 

Shepard was frustrated to say the least. For some reason, the hot bath seems strangely dangerous to her senses. She remembers enjoying it, but after almost an hour she only managed to immerse her knees. The others gradually talked her into getting comfortable, only to bombard her with questions about her relationship with Garrus. Under the guise of finding the bathroom, she managed to free herself from the women's company wearing only a towel to find Garrus. After some time without success she stumbles upon empty room whose smell was pleasant and inviting, looking inside she spotted bath that could accommodate a maximum of two turians. Looking around she notices the same flower as in her room and bath was filled with some white creamy substance.

 

                _“You know we have something that resembles Valentine day in Palaven,”_ Garrus started, making her jump. She didn’t hear him coming and could clearly seem him eyeing her, especially the towel that held her remaining decency. _“It’s not as flashy as human holidays… it’s called_ **F** **ertilitatem festival.** _We have it four times a year and it’s more about physical contact than bad movies, smiles, and hangovers next day…”_ He continues closing his distance touching her waist through a towel as he explains.

 

                _“Did… did you ever take part in the_ **Fertilitatem festival** _?_ ” He was close enough for her to catch his metallic scent.

 

                _“It_ _should be only shared with someone special to you…”_ Garrus nibbled at her neck, encouraging her to help him undress. When last of his clothes drop he guide them into the pool. The mix of scents make her little dizzy under her foot she feels petals of a strange flower. She was surprised when Garrus entrance bath without hesitation. The creamy substance was only on top hiding deep red cream that was so dense she couldn’t see a bottom. He dunked himself, leaving only his head above the level of fluid, which again took on a cream color when Garrus stopped moving. Interested and fascinated, she kneels on the edge when a small red spot starts to appear on the surface.  Shepard could clearly hear him start to ***purr*** unique to any sound he’d made before. Around Garrus, more circles start to appear his vibration create a pattern of small bubbles circles and wave on the surface. Her eyes winded, it was a mesmerizing display of sound, vibration and dancing water. Without even noticing she was drawn inside bath her body react similarly out of instinct. Closing her distance to him she accepts his unspoken invitation by kissing his mandible.

 

 _“I… I didn’t know you had_ that _little trick…”_ she murmured, feeling him grab her by the waist.

 

 _“Real show begins now… if you are up to turian style_ _Valentine’s Day,”_ he teased, his cock already fully erect and teasing her entrance. Feeling her biting his neck send a clear message. With one smooth motion, he enters her filling her completely. He knew full well he caught her by surprise and didn’t give her time to recover. He had her at his mercy and she loved every second his ridged length massaging her inner walls while his subvocals whispered her name. Even though the warmth of the water, she could feel heat resonating from him. She came faster than anticipated, only smiling as her entrance clamped down on him.

 

                With sudden emptiness, she notices that Garrus move her over the edge and turn her over. Jane tries to gain some control, but he quickly shoots down the gesture. Moving quickly he enters her again from behind with one of his hands on her waist and instantly biting back of her neck to hold her in place. The combined feeling of his entrance and biting riddled Jane with ecstasy.  Finding support on the edge of the tub she uses it to help her meet his trust. Neither of them kept track of time, losing their minds to the frenzy. The bath now was totally red, room echo with their sound of lovemaking and their pheromones fill the entire space.

 

                She was close, still under his iron grip, she feels his cock expand making it harder to pound her. With last hard entry, he explodes in her, his hot seed filling her completely make her climax one more time. With few last trusts, he stops moving, resting on top of her finally letting go of her neck liking it passionately. A small jolt of electricity travel through her body by this action his vibration becomes even stronger when slowly he move them back into the bath. Still locked together, she feels him empty himself inside her with small trust into her from time to time she climaxes once more but this time it was a delicate act.

 

                _“Next round… next round I will be on top…”_ she panted slowly with a smile and sleep in her eyes.

 

 _“Promises, promises.”_  He kept that promises, giving her a little time after he softens enough to pull away from her core. With a smile, she moves on top of him and with one hand she encouraged his cock to emerge lowering herself again feeling him fill her completely, the ridges once more massage her core. With a passionate kiss, they allow themselves to be lost in the sensation.    

 

+++++++++++++

 

She wakes up spend but positively tired. The room was filled with their scent after they eventually shifted their night onto the mattress. Smiling Jane notice Garrus was already awake looking at her and slowly stroking her fringe.   _“And that how we turians celebrate Valentines.  And that was just the first day.”_ He moved back to latch onto her neck again, making her ***growl*** in anticipation. Shepard simply love turian version of Valentine day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little fun chapter to make your day :)
> 
>  
> 
> +++++++++++++  
> Flore temporum fertilitatis - Flower of fertility
> 
> Fertilitatem festival - Fertility festival


	26. Don’t go that way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We go back to the main story I hope you will enjoy it.

Jack tries to convince herself that she forgot what they did to her in the facility. But now… looking at Aresh, she remembers everything. She was a lab rat, meant to be converted into some biotic superweapon to be fielded by soldiers. Aresh became the personification of everything that was wrong in her life. The facility was filled with empty lobbies where experiments were carried out or corridors where you could still smell blood. He was confident there was some greater endgame that could be achieved, something to justify the atrocities and suffering. It was something she couldn’t let happen.  Her finger was on the trigger, and all she needed to do was squeeze for Aresh to disappear forever. Then she feels something tug on her shoulder.

 

 _“Let it go Jack…”_ Shepard’s calm voice brought her back to reality. Jack's hands were shaky still ready to shot him. _“Don’t let your past consume you as it did with him, he's trapped in it. You need to move on from yours.”_

_“He wants to restart this place. He needs to die!”_ Jack reminded, barely able to keep her voice steady.

 

 _“This place is falling apart, and he doesn’t have the resources to do anything with it. Jack… look at me.”_  She turned to look at her turian face, her green eyes reflecting a look of understanding.  _“Don’t let your past have to control over you. You are the architect of your own destiny, now that you are free from this lab.”_ She is sure as hell knew how to work that silver tongue of hers. Jack was a criminal and Shep was an Alliance Special Forces trooper, but the two had much more in common than she’d like to admit. Lowering her weapon, she let Aresh go with Shepard help they set up the bomb and Jack looks around one last time around her old room.

 

 _“Nothing is really at it seems at first…”_  Jack sighed, looking at a cracked one-way mirror.

 

 _“No, it isn’t…”_ Jane replied.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Garrus was working on guns again. He needed something to work his mind on. Not long ago, Shepard manages to hastily shut down an argument between Jack and Miranda. The Cerberus crew quickly grew to Shepard’s leadership. The lack of Alliance regulations meant she could take her interactions much more personally. Samara and Thane fit nicely into the rest of the crew helping to bolster their roster of skills and abilities.  

 

After Shepard and Jack blew up the ‘rogue’ facility, he was confident they wouldn’t go up against any other spooky drivel until they pursued Jacob’s MIA father. The mentally decayed crew and various audio logs painted an ugly painting of the ten years they’d been stuck on the planet. Jacob father becomes a monster. Abuse of power, killing rebellious crewmates, reduction of crew members to pets and grunts, the list of crimes went on. His father only turned on the beacon when the food was low and the crew was getting to be unwieldy. As per usual, Shepard ordered Jacob to spare his father to be handled by the Alliance. 

 

After working with the current algorithm for the guns, he took a rest. However, he still had lingering thoughts hovering over him. The thought of Sidonis struck another nerve, and he took his time messaging his feelers to pick up the pace before they headed off to the Omega 4 Relay.  If he was going to hell, he expected to see Sidonis when he arrived. Looking at the clock he decided to turn in for the night.

 

Shepard’s quarters were dark, only dimly lit by the fish tank. The crew was already aware of her growing relationship, so she invited Garrus to simply move in and forego any subtlety. Garrus on the other hand still wanted to take a slow approach to their relationship. His items gradually showed up in her room, gradually cluttering the space or getting confused with her own. It was only when he moved his rifle up when he completely moved in.

 

In the middle of the bed, she’d already passed out. Moving alongside the bed, he quietly slips under and huddles up next to her. Feeling his heat, she turns around in her sleep to face his bare chest and, with a low ***purr*,** she buried her head in his cowl. Garrus gently stroked her fringe looking at her the memories of her action come back to him. He knew she wouldn’t agree to putting a hole in Sidonis’ head.   ***But she let Zaeed kill Santiago,*** he reminded himself. ***He deserved it.  She’ll understand.  She’ll have no problem letting me pluck his plates from his side.***

 

He shook the thoughts from his head. He shouldn’t abuse her trust like this. He was already in a bad disposition with his family and he sure as hell didn’t need to lose the last of their good graces. The news would be the last nail in his mother’s coffin. Unable to fall asleep and he figured he’d give ‘counting sheep’ that Shepard mentioned a try. Unaware of what sheep even looked like, he substituted them with varren. _‘One little varren … two little varrens… One hundred and forth… One head, two heads…’_

 

Getting distracted, eventually, his mind drifted back to Omega, during his fight over the bridge.  Instead of faceless nobodies hired off the streets, each one was a manifestation of Sidonis.  His blood boiled as he raced to nail as many as he could as they ran blindly across.  _‘Bastard.  Traitor.  Coward.  Snake.’_ He endlessly mutters curses under his breath with each shot he took. The cursed gunship then appeared, blinding him with a spotlight aimed at his head. A beam of heat and sound wake him up. Snapping awake, he again was in bed with Shepard. She was ***purring*** and emit her heat wave like he did last time. He must’ve awoken her. Her scent and actions make him relax.

 

                _”It’s ok… now **Garrus** , you’re alright…” _ Jane said quietly noticing that he was awake from his nightmare.

 

                _“ **Jane** … I’m…” _It took him a while to realize he was mentally wrestling with himself.

 

 _“It’s ok **Garrus…** don’t fight it, just let it go….” _ Hearing him ***whine*** softly and feeling his grip strengthened. Shepard doubled her effort in easing him to sleep.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

It wasn’t the first time when Garrus had nightmares, but this one had been especially surreal. Trying to take his mind off the prior night, he switches his focus on his armor and gear, making sure that everything was ready for the next assignment.   _“ **Garrus,** are you sure you’re ready?” _  Shepard inquired after a brief shower.

 

                _“Of course… I… I need something to focus on **Jane…** most of my calibrations are complete.”_ He said trying to sound convincing but Shepard look said otherwise. She becomes good at reading him.

 

                _“ **Garrus** about last night…” _  She’d noticed the claw marks on her back from the night prior. Summoning her courage, she continued, _“…was it connected to Sidonis?”_ She’d seen it enough times signs of survivor’s guilt were recognizable by now.   _“When you are ready to talk about it… I’m always here **Garrus…** ” _Jane said looking at his blue eyes, stroking his neck slowly with her hand. _“Now let’s rescue Tali.”_  

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tali was depressed. Haestrom was a former quarian colony that she and her team had been on studying the local sun’s abnormal activity. Unfortunately, the Geth picked up their presence and eliminated most of the quarians stationed there. Solar radiation from the sun was strong enough to quickly overheat anyone’s shields and cook them alive.  Still working on the data, she attempted to reach their HQ in hopes someone was still alive.

 

 _“Tali'Zorah to Base Camp. Come in, Base Camp!”_ Tali tries repeatedly, barely able to hear herself over the Geth banging on the door behind her.  Then a familiar turian face shows up.

 

 _“Tali? It's Shepard,”_ her old commander greeted.

 

_“Shepard? It’s convenient, but am I glad to see you! What are you doing in the middle of geth space?”_

_“I was in the neighborhood. I thought you might need a hand,”_ Shepard chuckled, showing a toothy grin. However, the courtesies would have to wait. Kal'Reegar and what's left of the marines detachment bunkered down in the observatory nearby, and were still taking pot-shots on the geth outside. After the brief conversation and helping unlocking a door for Shepard, she was once again left alone. Shortly afterward, the banging from the door stopped, followed explosions and gunfire. Turning around she notices Shepard and her team entering.  She didn’t hold herself hugging her change commander.

 

 _“Thank you, Shepard. If not for you...”_ She then noticed Garrus entering in a more grave state than when she last saw him. _“Garrus… You’re… what happen your face?”_

 

 _“I’d rather not talk about it.”_ Shepard calmed her down. _“How are you holding up? What are you doing here?”_

 

_“This whole mission has been a disaster. I wish I'd joined you back on Freedom's Progress, but I couldn’t let anyone take my place on something this risky.”_

_“At least was it worth it Tali? A lot of quarians lost their lives here.”_

_“I don't know, Shepard. It wasn't my call,”_ Tali shrugged, quietly looking down. _“The Admiralty Board believed the information here was worth sacrificing all our lives for. I have to believe that they know what's best.”_

In the following conversation, Shepard learned that Tali didn’t fully agree with Admiralty, contributing so many lives to something so menial.  In laymen’s terms, Heastrom's sun is destabilizing compared to when it was a star during the days Haestrom was a normal quarian colony.  It shouldn’t change that quickly Tali explain to them Making sure that quarians that did survive were safety in their ship Jane happily accept Tali as a new addition to their team.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Tali was still little on edge after their short briefing with Cerberus operative Jacob. The Migrant Fleet had been threatened once by Cerberus and seeing the logo plastered on the walls didn’t help her much. After removing all bugs from her bunk and work station, she was surprised how well Cerberus managed to reconstruct Normandy, being even quieter than before. The Kenneth and Gabby engine, cracking quips and short bickering along the way. Then Kenneth started commenting on her suit. _“Don't get me wrong, it’s a beautiful bucket. The whole suit is lovely. Quite snug, in all the right places.”_

_“You’re a real perv, Kenny,”_ Gabby snapped.  Ignoring them, she made her way to the elevator.  

 

The whole crew seems surprisingly nice to her, despite being Cerberus personnel.  There were familiar faces onboard, including Joker, Dr. Chakwas, and Garrus. Surprisingly there was also a turian cook which offered her services in the preparation of meals. Entering the Commander cabin she was welcome by blue lights from a fish tank.

 

                _“Fish tank? Really Shepard?”_ Tali huffed, opening her omni tool and swept the room for bugs.  Sure enough, someone had already picked through.

 

                _“Yeah, Garrus make sure that we have little privacy. At least here,”_ Jane answered.  

 

 _“We…?”_  Tali ask confused only now noticing other items in the room such as male turian armor next to Shepard some clothing toss around the turian bed and most importantly Garrus sniper rifle. It was two and two she quickly put together, garnering a small chuckle from her.

 

_“Normandy to Tali, are you okay?”_

_“Yeah, just… still little hard to wrap my head around all of this. You as a turian, Garrus is saved, and Cerberus seems out of character for once,”_ Tali replied slowly.

 

 _“It’s just an illusion Tali… I have a suspicion that this crew was specially selected for me… to keep me engaged in the mission,”_ Shepard nodded.

 

Having the whole picture, Tali understood Shepard’s current concerns and actions. She cannot rush in until the crew is loyal and ready to charge into hell. Since their mission to the Collector Ship, she’d been increasingly able to sway them to her side over the Illusive Man.  The story about bumping into Garrus was a chilling tale, leaving her thankful she reached him in time.

 

 _“So what about you Tali how things between you and Kal'Reegar?”_ Jane added.

 

                _“Whaaat…. What do you mean, Shepard? I and Kal are just friends….”_

_“Are you sure about that?”_ Jane chuckled. It was then when Garrus enter room stopping only for a moment to greet Tali. When he sat down next to Shepard and embraced her arm he couldn’t see that Tali did ogle him. But Shepard did and before she could do anything a low ***growl*** escape her, fortunately only Garrus could hear it.

 

                _“Did you to have fun?”_ Garrus asked to dissolve the tension.

 

 _“Yeah.  We’ll be heading back to the Citadel or Illium to get some upgrades,”_ Jane answered, leaning against him to look at Tali. The quarian seems a little nervous looking between turians. Feeling eyes of the Commander on her the Tali decide it a good time to leave.

 

 _“I will be in engineering room if you need me Shepard,”_ Tali excused before hastily making for the elevator. However, before she entered the elevator she had to catch her breath and calm down her down a little. She was happy to be here with Shepard, Joker, Dr. Chakwas, and Garrus, but she did not expect the sexual tension building between her CO and Garrus of all people.  She still could hear their conversation.

 

_“You scared her, Garrus”_

_“Me? It was your stare again Jane.  And your ***sub-vocals*** weren’t exactly friendly.” _

_“I… It's also your fault, did you remember Illium…?”_ It was too much for Tali, she quickly moves into the elevator leaving them behind. Stepping out of she didn’t have an idea what to do next. When suddenly a figure appears next to her.

 

                _“You must be Tali. I’m Kasumi, nice to meet you.  Garrus and the commander speak highly of you.”_ A stunned and surprised Tali shook her extended hand.

 

                _“So… did you like their arguing?”_ Noticing her surprise, she continued, _“Based on your reaction, you weren’t expecting that.  I can tell you more over drinks.”_ Tali only nodded in agreement. Before she could do anything Tali was drag by the Kasumi into an observation deck.

_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++_

_“What do you mean it’s my fault and how is it connected to Illium?”_ Garrus argued. Shepard somehow looked more annoyed in this scenario. He was also surprised that she sat on his thighs, checking his bandages without much of an explanation.

               

 _“Karin said that you were skipping change of bandages,”_ Jane snapped after inspecting his face.

 

 _“It’s not that…”_ a ***** **growl*** was enough to silence him. Shepard move precise and stable removing his old bandages in silence. _“…so_ **_Chaeris_** _…”_ Jane hissed as she applied new medicine to his face. Garrus sighed feeling that she wasn’t as delicate as Chakwas and of course her nickname would get back and bite his ass.

 

                _“She was in the boot camp with me and other turians. She never liked military life so, after our mandatory military training, she moves on to become a doctor. But during this few years, we become close buddies.”_

_“So… it's not Ms. Reach and Flexibility?”_ Shepard asked, realizing how stupid she sounded.

 

 _“Mmmm no…? Why should she be?”_ Garrus shrugged in confusion. He was glad that Shepard finally managed to apply new bandages to his face.

 

                _”Sorry, I was overthinking,”_ Jane hastily added, quietly looking at him and her work before slowly massaging his neck. A small giggle escapes her when she feels his hand on her waist massaging her slowly a low ***hum*** escape from her ***subvocal***.

 

                _“You seem distracted lately, Garrus,”_ Jane said moving her forehead to meet his. _“Just what is it that’s occupying your mind right now?”_ She knows the answer, but he must face it too. There was hesitation in his answer, he looks away and bats away her hands.

 

                _“Unfortunately, my feelers haven’t found Sidonis’ trail yet, and I really want to deal with him before we hit the relay.  He doesn’t deserve to walk away from this.”_

   

                _“Why did you choose to go to Omega in the first place?”_ Shepard pressed.  The last thing Garrus needed right now was revenge.

 

 _“The hell is that supposed to mean?”_ he snarled.

 

                _“You easily could’ve headed back to Palaven after handing in your badge.  Hell, you could’ve carried through with the Specter training like you promised. Saren’s defeat and your clan could’ve given all the credentials you needed to reapply, and instead, you’re pissing around in the deepest, darkest corner possible. Why did you really come to Omega?”_

Things quickly turned sour. It was now apparent that Garrus was hit hard by her first death for a good reason. The answer to her question become clear to her but he needs to say it. He needs to realize it before himself what did he really want to achieved on Omega.   _“So what was it?  Suicide while taking as many bastards as you could with you?”_

That touched something deep in Garrus. She wasn’t there when Alliance declare her death, made a show of her rather than gaining any momentum on the Reapers.  She wasn’t there when they classified everything about her mission, denying their existence.  She wasn’t there when they tossed Sovereign’s remains into the sun, effectively sweeping the issue under the rug. She wasn’t there when he was left to cope with the void she left.

 

                _“You were dead **Shepard.** Everything you started died that day.  What the hell was I to do?” _ He spat, finally letting loose.  _“You were just another decorative name for them to plaster over some hall of heroes.  The non-humans you brought along weren’t even allowed to be remotely associated to you at the funeral.  They had to kick Wrex when he started making a racket.  What the hell was **I supposed to do?!”**_

 

Her face only gave back a look of shock and pain, but he disregarded it. _“We were mocked for trying to carry on your work!  The Council save for Anderson is content on remaining oblivious to the Reaper threat and discrediting your name for even considering such a thing exists!”_

_“So that’s how you commemorate me?  Go to some distant rock to die?”_ She physically ached from his words, moving away in disbelief. _“The moment I’m gone, you just threw in the towel?”_

There was silence both looking at each other but after a few minutes of silence Shepard sigh.  _“We **tried,** Jane.  Wrex is still trying, gathering the clans on Tuchanka, but I was shot down before I could even get any air.”_

_“Then you should look at my example… how many times did I have to headbutt someone to achieve something… I’m tired **Garrus** … I am tired that I am first to fight… We need more people who are willing to fight… You need to decide what you really want…” _Jane ended a conversation, flopping on the bed without stripping off her clothes. The light goes off leaving Garrus still on the sofa with only his thoughts and an empty fish tank that illuminate the room. Soon enough in silence Garrus too join her in her bed together to find restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for your comments and likes. Leave a comment if you like my story Thanks to Dr_Compass for help with this chapter.


	27. Together but still alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter this time more focus on Garrus point of view I hope you like it.

 

The last few days were intended to gather resources that the crew would need for upgrades proposed by Tali, Samara, and Thane. In the meantime, Garrus and Shepard struggled to maintain a professional posture, albeit with futility. Fortunately, they were left alone and decided to give each other space. Matters had quieted down until the day before when Garrus spotted Shepard headed to Samara room, exiting glummer than she did when she entered. The two were on edge after his outburst and it was only getting worse. At least during training sessions, Garrus and Shepard devoted their focus fully to combat, evoking more synergy than vocal communication. However, she’d clearly seen better days and it was time for an intervention.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                It was late. Tali was the last crewmate at her post, making sure that Garrus didn’t overload the guns.  She’d been busy when she heard someone approaching behind her.

 

                _“Hi, Tali…”_  Shepard sighed her.

 

_“Shepard! What can I do for you?”_

 

                _“I just want to talk.  Do you have a minute?”_ she answered, glancing between her and the power core.

 

_“Of course.  Glad we could play catch up. The engine is really quiet and I had removed any bugs here, so we should be able to speak freely,“_ Tali said, maybe a tad too quick.

 

                _“It’s ok Tali… There is a topic that I would like to discuss with you, at liberty anyways. If you don’t want to answer just be honest with me.”_  The quarian was surprised by this statement.  It was clear Shepard was on edge, and she quietly braced herself.

 

                _“Well, speak your mind,”_ she reassured.  She kept on staring at her carapace, still distracted by the change.

 

_“My funeral Tali… did the Alliance really mistreat you and the other nonhuman personnel?”_ There was no reason to beat around the bush.

 

                _“…What do you mean?”_ Tali replied with surprise.

_“Garrus and I had a disagreement earlier.  He mentioned the service before you all parted ways,”_ she explained, shifting uncomfortably.

 

                _“I won’t lie. It was bad but not only your funeral The Alliance wasted no time making the most of your ‘demise,’ easily gaining additional political leverage and bolstering recruitment quotas.  Even a year later, they still have posters with Kaidan, Ashley, and your faces plastered all over them.”_ Tali answered, shifting uncomfortably.  _“Anderson and Hackett did their best to keep a lid on it, but it was too little too late. The vacuum of personnel caused by the Geth attack also left plenty of room for humans to fill new roles throughout the station. Many were unprepared to do their job and it shows now. I do not know the details but it seems that after your death Alliance becomes divided in their ideology.”_

The sting of it all was very apparent. It was Anderson, not Udina, who handed her over to the Hierarchy. Why he let this slip was unclear.  Garrus and Tali’s accounts together painted an ugly picture.

_“Thank you Tali.  Sorry to break the ice like this.”_

 

_“No problem, Shepard_.  _I hate to snoop too much, but what’s going on between you and Garrus?  I hope I didn’t cause anything when…_ “

 

                _“No, you had nothing to do with it._ _I can’t tell you details for Garrus’ sake. But Omega left some scars on him, both physical and mental. He means too much and I don’t want this to continue eating away at him.”_

_“If you care about him so much talk with him! We’ll be arriving at Omega tomorrow!”_ Shepard was surprised that someone would raise a voice on her.

 

_“I… You are right…Thank you Tali.  Have a good night.”_

+++++++++++++++++++

 

She was a bit surprised and disappointed to find the lights out in her cabin and Garrus fast asleep in bed.  He wasn’t wearing any clothes and was just lying on top of the sheets. She misses his touch, small talks, even if they sleep together in one bed they didn’t cuddle into the sleep. Together but apart and that hurts her.  

 

“ _It’s different Shepard, this whole ‘suicide’ mission…”_ She remembers Garrus saying that and she started to wonder how far is she willing to go but deep down Shepard knew that revenge isn’t an answer _“Sleep well, **Garrus,** ” _Jane muttered quietly while stroking his arm gently before putting a small kiss into his forehead before prepping for bed, oblivious to the fact he was fully awake.

 

Garrus leans up in bed, remembering their discussion the previous day and had a few thoughts on his mind he wanted to discuss. He thought that giving her space would ease tensions, but matters only worsened instead, leading her to talk increasingly with Samara. It was now apparent they’d docked, as the ship hadn’t been shaking any longer. Getting up, he saw her fully adorning her dress, much to his surprise.  It was a short and black article of clothing that showed off her shoulders and waist with detail. Her expression didn’t express much of what occupied her mind.

 

                _“ **Shepard**_ what… what is that?” he blurted, still slurred with sleepiness.

 

_“It’s…”_ Jane started when Joker interrupted over the speakers.

_“Commander we have docked Omega. Samara is already waiting for you.”_

 

_“Wait, what?”_ She was heading out, into Omega, with Samara, wearing nothing but a dress.

 

                _“I’m helping Samara with something. We’ll be back in less than a couple hours,”_ Shepard hastily explained.

 

_“I’ll run interference.”_  

 

She glanced back at him with fiery eyes on her way to the elevator. _“You are staying here on the Normandy.”_

 

                _“ **Wait**!” _ Garrus tried to catch up.

 

  _“I hope you don’t plan to stop me ass naked. You are staying here on the Normandy.”_ The elevator doors closed behind her before they could continue.  Rushing back, he hastily put on his armor and rushed back outside, where Tali, Jane, and Samara were.

 

                _“ **Shepard** , I’m ready.  Just fill me in on the…”_ She cuts him off with another glare before turning to the quarian at her side.

 

                _“Tali make sure that **Vakarian** will not leave the ship.  I’d prefer if he didn’t interfere.”_

+++++++++++++++++++

Garrus work incessantly on Shepard armor, attempting to work out what might’ve gone wrong over the last few days. The fact Jane had reverted to calling him by his surname meant he was really in the deep end. Much to his dismay, Tali sat watching from the corner silently. Something had given him the impression that Jane had specifically sent Tali to talk with him.  It was a bitter sense of betrayal that kept bothering him until Tali snuck up to him.

 

_“Garrus!”_  Her voice irritated him even more.

 

_“What?!”_ he snarled.  

 

                _“You… you installed the mod incorrectly,”_ Tali huffed.

 

Looking back at the schematic, he quickly caught on to his mistake. _“Got it.  Thanks, Tali.”_ Growling, he quickly works the component back out again. The minutes felt like an eternity as he continued to work.  Glancing over at her slowly, he starts, _“So… What’s on your mind Tali.”_

 

_“Nothing really. The crew is nice, the food is good… the ship is quite…”_ she said unconvincingly.

 

                _“Tell me something, does Shepard not trust me anymore?  You’ve been talking with her recently, so has she told you anything?”_  

 

_“What do you mean Garrus?”_ Tali gave a puzzled look.

 

                _“Don’t.  Lie. To me. I’m sure Shepard told you everything about my time here on Omega. Now, you may as well disclose why she’s trying to pit you against me!  Did she not tell you I led Archangel?!”_

Tali was still confused and dazed by his little rant. She wasn’t aware of Garrus’ identity as Archangel and wasn’t a particular fan of his team’s actions.  It was even stranger that Garrus had devolved into something as ruthless.  She admittedly found the dutiful turian aboard the SR1 attractive but had lost the façade over the last two years.  He was grotesquely out of character, developing into the personality he vowed specifically to stomp out.

 

                Too late did he notice his error and too late did he try to reconcile.   _“Look, Tali… it-”_

 

                Not wanting another word, she struck across his face making him stumble and fall to the ground. _“Suit yourself, bosh’tet! If you’d been paying attention she’s worried about you!”_ Tali said grabbing by his cowl shaking him “ _But you’ve turned out for whatever revenge story you’ve got cooking up and it’s leaving her in a rut! After the Collectors, where the hell is she supposed to go?! The Alliance has all but left her for dead and the Council wants nothing to do with her! Now if you’d wise up a bit, you’re one of her few real friends remaining, so don’t fucking waste this.”_

 

“Spirits be damned,” he cursed. With that, she left him alone in the armory. Getting up from was harder than it should’ve been.  Jane was altruistic and merciful to a fault and even ordered him to stand down a couple of years prior in a lame attempt at apprehending Dr. Saleon.  As much as he’d like to appease her and remain her intimate other, there would be no such compromise.  Just then, Dr. Chakwas entered with Jacob in tow. _“Afternoon, Garrus.”_

_“Chakwas, Jacob,”_ he nodded in acknowledgment. It quickly garnered his attention that both were uneasy.

 

                _“Garrus, the Commander is back from her mission with Samara.  However, she ran into some complications along the way.”_

_“What do you mean by complication?”_ he asked, a bit too quickly he realized.  In fairness, the lack of proper disclosure did irritate him.

 

                _“She was injured.  She’s stable now and will be back on her feet by tomorrow morning.”_

 

Despite the report, he managed to keep a calm demeanor. _“And I suppose checking on her is out of the question?”_  

 

                _“Only after she fully recovers. She needs rest and mustn’t be disturbed.”_

 

_“It’d put me with peace of mind if I could visually confirm her current status,”_ he emphasized.  “It’ll just leave me distracted if I don’t.”

 

                _“The answer is no,”_ Chakwas snapped. _“Your actions over the past few days don’t spark confidence Garrus, and I’m worried your visit will do more harm than good. If you want more details to talk with Samara. But I must warn you do not provoke conflict with her. She did carry her back and she knows more on Ardat Yakshi than I do.”_ She leaves shortly after, leaving Jacob and Garrus to their devices.

 

_“Want some target practice before you check in with the Justicar? We got some empty beer bottles we haven’t jettisoned with the garbage yet if you’re up for taking shots in the cargo hold,”_ Jacob offered.

 

+++++++++++++++++

 

The fact he opted to have some join Jacob at his jury-rigged target range was a good sign. Samara had no issue with disclosing mission details to Garrus, but she still wondered how much she should disclose about Shepard’s injuries. Soon enough, the turian enters the door behind her and she stands to meet him. Like the commander he so greatly respected, he stood despite his exhaustion. _“Hello, Garrus. I’m glad you came prepared.  Please, take a seat.”_

_“Thanks, but I’m fine with standing.”_ Taking a deep breath, he asks, _“What the hell happened down there? What has Shepard been discussing with you prior to this mission? How did you not intervene?”_

**_’This is going to be harder than anticipated,’_** Samara thought to herself grimly.   _“I asked Shepard to help me kill my own daughter,”_  Samara said quietly looking at his shocked face. _“She was born an Ardat-Yakshi_ _. It_ _means-“_

_“I know what the Ardat-Yakshi are.  Due to mutations within asari physiology, their nervous systems don’t meld well with others, and instead, sap the host of their energy and either kill them or leave them a vegetable.  Believe me, I’ve had to put down during my days at C-Sec. The one I encounter was yang and inexperienced but that bay question. According to Asari law, they all should be held in isolated altogether or be disposed of._ By C-Sec regulations, those that were unregistered and resisted were to be apprehended if possible. _”_ Garrus said looking at Justicar letting her know too come into the point.

 

_“Shepard and I come with a plan to lure her out using Shepard as a bait. Morinth was the smartest of my daughters and had slipped out of my grasp on more than one occasion. I knew Shepard would be too tempting a prize for her to resist and Shepard accepted the risk. It all went smoothly until Morinth and Shepard were alone in her apartment.”_ She then took an audible pause. _“Her hunger left her impatient and hastily decided to meld with Shepard. As the process started, Shepard stabbed her with her omniblade killing her on the spot. To stabilize her, I entered her mind.”_ Samara didn’t need to describe the expression of her daughter's face. For the first time in her long life, she saw her face frozen in a state of shock, barely held together by the state of rigor mortis. The blade still punctured her heart, dropping her on the spot. Garrus felt strangely desensitized to the description

 

_“Her memories are extraordinary Garrus…I understand her more now.  She’s tenacious to an extent I never thought possible.  It was reinforced after she narrowly avoided her life sentence.”_

_“Wait, what…?”_ He knew Jane didn’t have a real family but she never discussed her childhood.  

 

                _“Jane was living on the streets, narrowly surviving day to day.  One of the other members of her group had drugged a child and was planning on using her for pleasure before killing her. The human force did nothing and care little so Shepard took justice in her own hands but she was cough in the act. She was sixteen when her life could’ve ended right then and there when Anderson decided to step in, sign her up with the Navy, spare her of such a fate.”_ Samara turned her gaze back out the window.

 

                _“Strange how far we’ll go in avoidance of the inevitable. Living being’s Asari Turians Humans or any other races always tries to find a way to prolong their life here. After all standard way is used we tend to pick something from darkness book of fantasy. The Consciousness Transplant is the closest anyone has come, yet those who undergo such a process only live so much longer afterward. Looking inside her mind I believe I found the answer why Shepard is able to survive in Turian body. You are the force that tethers her to this plane of reality.”_ Standing, she closed the distance to him her aura make his scale crawl.

 

_“I know what you want Archangel”_ his eyes widened, how could she know that, but Samara continues “ _If ‘he’ will continue on his path the Commander as we now may not last to see Collectors base. Archangel chapter should be closed he is now legend a strange symbol in Omega history.”_ Samara said coldly 

“Protect her not as Archangel but as Garrus Vakarian.  We depend on her, and as such, we all depend on you. _”_ With that, he was left alone making him question his morals.

  

+++++++++++++++++

 

In the dark corner, two figures talk quietly.

 

                _“You are sure You want to play this way?”_ human ask lighting a cigar illuminating partly the face of his turian companion

 

_“Ohh yes definitely. It will be my ‘Grand Final”_ turian answer with audible hatred _“I’m already in hell I'll make sure he will follow”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write for some reason. It's not my style to write bad things by they are nesecery. Again thank Dr_Compass who help me with this chapter :) 
> 
> As always comments and likes are welcome and if you have any ideas or proposals share them.


	28. Ghost of the past

Her world felt like pain.  Her collarbone still ached, her head throbbed like a violent earthquake and she was confined to the medbay. Cursing under her breath, she starts to get up, only to be stopped by Samara's voice.

 

                _“Dr. Chakwas asked to make sure you stayed in bed, Commander.”_  

 

 _“I just need some water,”_ Jane huffed, barely able to muster anything beyond a whisper with her bone-dry throat. She glanced out the medbay window, perhaps hoping that Garrus’ rage would’ve subsided and that he’d be waiting. Her **sub-vocals** let out an audible sigh, not that it mattered since it was on a frequency that only fell on deaf ears.  

 

                _“He still worries you, doesn’t he?”_ Samara blurted.

_“Wait, how did you…?”_

 

                _“Because of my own turian heritage, I’ve had to atune my hearing,”_ Samara explained, gesturing at the strange jewelry in her forehead. _“It belongs to my great grandfather’s clan. Anyways, Garrus didn’t take well to your condition, but was prevented from visiting by Chakwas.”_

**_*So he still cares about me*_** Jane thought.  _“Can I at least see him?”_

 

 _“The news can wait.  Your health comes first,”_ Samara repeated.

 

 _“My health affects Garrus’ wellbeing too. I just can’t leave him deal with its alone Samara, I put this for long enough. If I let him deal with it alone, I couldn’t be able to look at myself again…”_ there was pleading in her voice and eyes.

 

It was a look that surprisingly earned some sympathy from her.  _“Very well.  But do not dawdle outside of bed for too long.“_

 

                Still feeling weak and sore when she enters her cabin that was almost dark except and fish tank and Garrus visor in the bedside table. Moving forward she notices him lying in the bed muttering something she couldn’t hear. Moving closer Jane could hear his weak voice and saw half-open eyes

 

                _“One hundred and forth… One Sidonis head, second Sidonis head… Sidonis… Sidonis… Sidonis… Where have you…?”_ Garrus was muttering in his sleep, unaware of her arrival.  It was a sight that brought her some distress.

 

                _“ **Garrus** … **Garrus…?** ”_ he was typically a light sleeper, making the moment all the stranger.  There were few things that would make her shiver but a sight of Garrus that was trap in the nightmare was something Jane didn’t want to see ever again. Shaking him vigorously, it works to no avail. Desperate and panicked, she moves to his collar bone and bites him hard.

 

                This had to have been the worst one he had in a while.  The mangled, often mutated corpses of Sidonis had flooded the apartment and were now dragging him out among the rest of his dead team, their blood coagulating on the floor in large puddles. His thermal clips had run dry and they were starting to claw at his armor when an inky black tendril whipped through them, puncturing him in the shoulder before yanking him back to the bedroom. He felt heavy the memories of the nightmare still fresh and he was certain that he hears whispering voices _“we will get you next time”_. Taking another few deep breaths he becomes aware of his surrounding, he was in Shepard cabin in their bed. Shepard’s **sub-vocals** were producing a sobbing wail and her jaws were still affixed to his shoulder.  It was surprising to see she’d already left the medbay and had returned to their room.

 

                _“Hey… I’m awake, **Jane.** What happened?” _ He eases her jaws off him, and gazes back at her pained face, noticeable shocks travel through her body.   

 

                _“ **Garrus** … I… you were just thrashing in bed…” _She kept averting her gaze.

 

_“How bad was it?”_

 

                _“I’d been up here for a good… twenty minutes, trying to… trying to snap you out of it…”_ Shepard explained, looking at the bruise she’d left on his collar before looking back to his hand. All this from one of his squad ending up a turncoat.  _“Are you sure you want to go through with this?  Taking out Sidonis?”_

****

_“You were fine letting Zaeed burn Santiago, why are you hesitant now?”_ he reminded before he could bite his own tongue making her shiver again.

 

                _“After you took the rocket to the face back on Omega, I needed someone to help me get through to Mordin… While the others got you back to the ship to keep you stable, Zaeed headed with me to Mordin’s clinic.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like what Zaeed’s made of himself one damn bit, but since he helped indirectly save your life. I need to save **You Garrus** , you who would go with me without question ask, someone I would trust with my life, even Tali didn’t come with me when we first met” _Jane said lowing her head 

 

                He let out an exasperated sigh, was he the only one left? Good thirty seconds pass before he broke the silence. _“What do you want me to do **Jane…?** I’ve given up all hope of earning any good graces within the Hierarchy and his trail goes cold…” _

_“Just focus on something else for a while, get around to Sidonis and calibrations another time if they’re really eating away at you like this,”_ Jane pleaded.  _“You’re beating yourself up over this and it’s got me scared.”_  

 

 _“I… I will try,”_ he nodded.  She taps her forehead on his chest, burying her head in his cowl and emitting a low ***purr***. With little hesitation, Garrus moves his hand to caress the back of her head. _“What do you want **Jane?** You are helping crew people you barely knew, and from what I can tell, you want to keep that sort of relation with the crew one-way.”_

 

_“Tali told me about my funeral and what happened after… I want us all to survived it **Garrus.** This is the last chance we have at gaining any momentum against the Reapers.” _

_“And what about once all is said and done?”_ he pressed.

 

                _“I don’t know.  To be honest, I don’t have much else going for me outside of the Alliance. The Hierarchy is still unknown. They didn’t make a move against me but their offer sure wasn’t free of charge. I wish… I wish there were somewhere I could to go after mission…”_  They became quiet. Garrus really wanted to propose her to come with him, but he wished to re-establish his clan status and close the chapter on Sidonis before making such a move. Still stroking her slowly they both come to an rest hoping that the future will bring resolution to their problems.  

 

+++++++++++++++++++++

 

                Bailey was familiar with Blackwatch as a C-Sec captain. His cooperation was a necessity, regardless of how uncomfortable he felt around them. The two operatives ordered full access to Citadel monitoring in an empty room with no C-Sec oversight. So long as they didn’t interfere in his operations, he didn’t peer into theirs.  All he could do was wonder who or what they were looking for today. The dull cycle of the work day continues until an all too familiar female turian with a drell and Garrus behind her back appear in the horizon.  This time, she wore clan markings he couldn’t exactly put his finger on right now. Suddenly, Blackwatch’s presence quickly clicked for him. He took a deep sight and greeted them.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The male turian took off his helmet, eyeing the monitors. His partner was already setting some tracking algorithm, sifting through for Shepard and Vakarian. It took only a few seconds to find them.

 

 _“There they are,”_ Solana said, looking at the monitors. The Blackwatch team kept their proximity to Shepard while remaining undetected by Cerberus.  Shepard action against the Ardat-Yakshi was commendable to say the very least. Pririus Achadonis was still uncertain of her assessment and demanded extensive surveillance. With their equipment ready, they both sit down and watch the show. According to official channels, the Normandy returned to the Citadel for fuel and additional upgrades.

 

                _“Sol, I hear you managed to resolve your dispute with Vitelia Callienus,”_ Kasius Caeldros started, easing into a conversation.  He was the first to notice that with new ‘Hierarchy Spectre’ was out of place. 

 

                _“She was a pain in the ass form the beginning, and it was fun to take her down a notch.  Soon enough, the others will fall in line,”_ Solana boasted, not looking at his grey and dark face.

 

                _“If others knew more about her, they wouldn’t support her so much during sparring”_ That caught her attention.

 

                _“So, you did watch it,”_ Solana grinned, crossing her arms.

_“Only the beginning, just to see how things were going,”_ he laughed showing her a bunch of credit chips.  He was still considering how to spend his winnings from the fight. _“Good work. It’s funny just how desperate she is to climb the ranks.”_

 

                _“You knew?”_

 

 _“About her unsuccessful attempts to get into Vakarian family? Yes. As for the others? Looking at the betting table not many,”_ Kasius whistled, looking at the monitor. _“Anyways, Shepard finally decided to move out, break’s over. I’ll keep an eye on the monitors, make sure you’ve got the transcript running.”_

_“Got it.”_ She passed Kasius a suspicious glance.

 

                Shepard was looking for a drell named Kolyat, and Captain Bailey had been strangely compliant in directing them towards a shady trader named Mouse. Mouse had previously been the middleman between Kolyat, and a human politician named Elias Kelham, who hired the drell to eliminate a turian politician, who promised to counterbalance the increased human presence after the Geth attack from two years ago. The ‘Mouse’ did not realize that he was talking with the resurrected Commander Shepard and was clearly scared of her. She tries her best but, in the end, she couldn’t win his heart in this point she just gives up trying to reveal her true identity to others, it would only lead to unnecessary questions. Returning to Bailey, the captain was forced to reveal that Kelham had been providing C-Sec with additional funding, in exchange for turning a blind eye. Reluctantly, he agrees to bring in Kelham for interrogation.

 

                _“That’s should be interesting,”_ Kasius hummed, adjusting the microphone intake to better hear the conversation.

 

 _“We should question him together. Keep the pressure on. Though on how we approach it?”_ The elder drell asked her.

 

 _“Convince him that we'll put a bullet in his head if he doesn't talk. Once he's scared, he'll cooperate”_ Shepard proposed with a noticeable smirk.

 

                _“So how fast will they make him talk? Want a bet, Solana?”_ Kasius joked shuffling credit chips, watching with anticipation.

 

                Solana didn’t like playing odds, but she was willing to play ball. _“One-minute tops,”_ Solana deadpanned. It was an entertaining show. Elias Kelham didn’t believe her initial claim she was a Spectre, prompting a biotic flare and an omni blade at his throat.

 

She snapped, _“I don't have to prove anything. Specters are above the law. We clear?”_ Elias spilled the beans shortly after, Joram Talid was the target and with the address, Shepard moves out. 

 

 _“Shortest.  Interrogation. Of all time,”_ Solana laughed, looking at Shepard and drell. _“I’ll get this off to HQ, but I’ll let them know not to intervene,”_ Kasius only cursed knowing full well he just got played by the oblivious Spectre. 

_“I’m surprised you decided to stay onboard for this mission, mostly because of your brother’s presence,”_ Kasius prompted.

 

 _“I’m here to make sure Garrus doesn’t have his head taken off,”_ Solana stated plainly. _“Besides, she’ll make a good asset to the Hierarchy.”_

As per usual, she was successful in apprehending Kolyat before he could successfully reach his target.  Back at the station, she allowed the father to talk briefly with his son before continuing. Bailey promised to keep Kolyat out of incarceration to the best of his ability. Solana could tell there was some relationship between the commander and her brother, but she couldn’t tell how far without maintaining a physical presence.  

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                _“Good work **Shepard,** ” _Garrus complemented. Her night talk was still fresh in her mind, but he wasn’t ready to give a definitive answer yet. Thane will stay on the station longer to sort out things with his son and there was no additional task.

 

                _”Do you want to get something to eat?”_ She proposed, unaware they were being quietly followed when they move to the nearest cafes to each quick lunch. After their order arrived they start talking quietly about Thane and rest of the crew hoping that Tali and Zaeed will be able to tame Grunt, he becomes really irritable lately and Morin did mention something about one of his student been abducted but he is still investigating. Shepard was ready to wrap things up and goes back to ship in order to check how the newest upgrade is integrated when a woman appears before them looking at Garrus with a broken expression.

 

                _“Arch… Archangel… it is you, isn’t it?”_   

 

 _“I… Have no idea what you’re talking about”_ Garrus tried to move away from the woman and conservation. But he was shoved back by her.

 

 _“You should be ashamed of yourself”_ she hisses at him reaching for something under the vest but was stopped mid-way by the Shepard _“Go away”_

 

 _“The hell I am,”_ Woman said and with last jerk, an object fell out from her vest into the table, a photo. One glance was enough for Shepard to understand, it was Garrus team, turians, humans, quarian, krogan even a batarian.

 

 _“They all believed in you! Ripper believed in your idea!”_ She snapped at Garrus her eyes glossy.

 

 _“It wasn’t his fault…”_ Shepard starts trying to dissolve tension their conversation garner a lot of looks by other patrons.

 

                _“I’m not blaming him for that I only ask, where is Sidonis head? Why didn’t you tried to avenge your comrades? I thought that Turians do have some honor”_ she continues her verbal attack.

                 

                _“The is no trace of him he vanished,”_ Garrus said in self-deface.

 

                _“Lucky for you I found someone who could have information about him,”_ she said tossing datapad on the table _“If you want to give ghosts a well-deserved rest, then you know what to do”_ With that, woman leave them alone.

 

                Shepard help Garrus get up looking around it was clear they gather a small public _“let’s move somewhere quiet”_ he only nod in agreement fighting hard with his **sub-vocals**. 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                _“So, how was it?”_ she asks looking at turian next to her.

 

 _“Perfect,”_ he said looking at a clock, everything goes according to the plan.

 

                _“Yea… there was an additional audience so I didn’t could go all out”_ she said boasting while improving hairstyle

 

“So, I can pay you less than” he commented coldly using his **sub-vocals** that she couldn’t hear.  

 

                _“No blue stripes, you pay me more for an additional audience,”_ she said completely unaware of a tone of his voice.

 

 _“Relax, I’ve got it covered.  This will cover your flight back home and more.”_ His smirk starts to make her nervous.

 

                _“Really, that’s great,”_ she said with a shaky smile.

 

 _“Indeed, it is”_ With that, he quickly pushed her out of the safety barrier right into ventilation vent. Her scream was short, without looking back he activates his cloaking device and moves out away from the technician alley.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                _“What do you mean you can’t find her”_ Solana thundered over the radio.

 

 _“Sorry ma but there is no side of her”_ officer respond

 

                _“Humans can’t fly and she didn’t have any camouflage on her”_

 

In the same time, Kasius backtrack the footage to find any more clue about mysteries woman and additional information that would connect her some in any way with Garrus. But there was none just ordinary girl trying to find herself on the Citadel. He looks at a monitor and building plant that he has in front of him years of kick in. In an instant, he understood there was only one place where a woman would go _“Officer check the ventilation shaft”_

 

                _“It will some time sir”_

_“Do it”_ he orders,

 

                _“There is no way she would jump there”_ Solana prompted looking at image form a drone that C-cec used in order to fast check the shaft.

 

                _“Someone help her… someone didn’t want us to talk with her”_ Kasius said. His suspicions were confirmed when the feed showed a visceral red spray of human innards across the interior of the pipe.

 

                _“Call decontamination team and close block B0-12 to anyone”_ Officer shout through the radio.   

 

 _“What the hell…”_ Solana asks looking at the gruesome image.

 

                _“Garrus actions will be our answers,”_ Kasius said shifting his focus on Shepard and Garrus.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

                _“You are sure you want to play this way **Garrus**?” _ Jane asks looking at her broken turian

 

 _“I… I just want to find him… maybe there is a way to convict him by illegal stay at the station or something”_ deep down hoverer both of them knew that would be almost impossible _“If… if you don’t want to help me. I will understand...”_ Garrus said looking at the picture long sleep memories come down to him. There is no way he could back it now.  

 

                _“I will not leave you alone to deal with it **Garrus**. No **Shepard** without **Vakarian** ” _Jane said extending her hand to help him.

 

He only swallowed hard looking at her _“Yea…”_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter hopes you like it see you around soon. As always thanks for Dr_Compass for help on this chapter


	29. For you, I’m ready to die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter I see you next time

 

Garrus never thought that he would be in the other side of the interrogation room.  It was an experience he only knew through his early days at the academy, seeing both sides of the proverbial coin. Just waiting for the interrogations officer was the bit of extra pressure he didn’t need. There was no escape this time; Jane wouldn’t run interference and his father was bound to disavow him this time. Garrus was found next to the corpse, that the C-Sec believe are remains of Sidonis after Garrus shot him with a point-blank concussive round.

 

The interrogation door opened to reveal a turian in standard Blackwatch armor.  Solana was inducted into the group and made no effort to hide her pride in such an accomplishment.  The agent was female, average by turian standard her head hide behind her mask her voice was changed so he couldn’t recognize her; not that Garrus cared. She slowly put photos and a datapad in front of him showing Sidonis’ body and video recording his assassination attempt, foiled by Shepard. She pulled up another file detailing his time as Archangel.

 

 _“So… Omega wasn’t enough for you Vakarian… or is it Archangel?”_  she asks, leaning back in her seat.  He didn’t need to answer.  The evidence was blatantly stacked against him. _“Do you even know how much shit you’re in?”_

 

 _“You expect me to answer that?”_ he snapped, looking at his reflection on her black helmet.

 

              _“Respected C-Sec detective, transferred briefly over to Commander Shepard's crew that stop Saren, disappear for a year to take the law into your hands in some distant cesspit. Now, you’ve reappeared, dirtying your hands in a human terrorist faction and just offed some unarmed nobody. This paints an ugly picture.  Care to even defend yourself?_ ” The agent said pounding the table with her fist.

 

              _“For Blackwatch, I’d thought you’d have access to better biometric scanners than what you used for that poor bastard in the morgue.  What you picked up isn’t even Sidonis.”_

 

 _“You expect_ me _to believe that? The evidence speaks for itself Archangel.  Not to mention-”_

              _“It’s Vakarian to you,”_ Garrus growled at her.

 

 _“Not for long. This is quite the smear job you pulled off.  Think Castis won’t just clean his hands of you?”_ She deadpanned. He made no response.  _“For your name being your most vital resource, you aren’t handling it very well.  I can help you keep it, but only with your cooperation. Starting with who was that woman at the bar.”_

 

              _“It was probably Vanesa…”_  he starts slowly, looking at the photo of his comrades. _“Ripper told us stories about her. Somehow she was able to find about Sidonis.”_

_“And why was Sidonis important?”_

 

              _“Sidonis sold us out. He baited me out and the gangs just cleaned fucking house. I’m sure you know the rest. After my Commander helps me slip out.  He’s just the loose end.”_

_“So you domed him in the middle of a public area for that?”_ she pressed.

 

_“And who else would do it? He killed ten innocent on omega, He went to an ex-C-Sec bastard named Harkin to get a new name. Thanks to his ‘cooperation’ I was able to pint point Sidonis location. I had him in my sights, ready to kill that bastard right here and there, but Shepard was also there”_

 

              _“What do you mean by that?”_

Shepard stopped him just short of pulling a trigger. He was furious.  It was that same sense of blind redemption that made her deny him taking down Saleon. Of course, in hindsight, Shepard was acting for his own sake rather than Sidonis’ life. Only now after he cooled down and revisit the event over and, he truly understood what happened down there. Shepard wasn’t trying to save Sidonis she was trying to save him. Now The only person that would help Garrus is gone because of his stupidity.

_“It doesn’t matter she is long gone”_

 

_“You’re going to need a much better alibi than that.”_

_“I don’t know who I found in that back alley, but this isn’t Sidonis body, I was on my way back to the ship in order to straighten things out with Shepard when I hear something in the back alley and wanted to check it out.”_ It was a desperate bid on his part, knowing what they saw wouldn’t be consistent with what he did.

 

 _“Wrong again, Vakarian,”_ agent sighed. Giving up, she scooped up the datapads, images and left. Solana leaned against the door dreading that it was probably the last time when she has the opportunity to talk with her brother and it was eating at her. Reluctantly, she leaves to file her report.  

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Joker was sitting in the cockpit inspecting a new upgrade that Tali implemented. In the meantime, he’d been sifting through the extranet for material to bother Garrus with when EDI’s projection appeared.

 

              _“Mr. Monroe, I’ve recently found this.”_ Instantly a transmission in front of him was displayed detailing details about today two murders by one young turian reporter. Joker didn’t like what he was hearing, and he instantly got cold feet when Garrus face was displayed suggesting his involvement in one of the events. Still, shock too late he notices someone behind him, it was Shepard. Joker never saw her so defeated and broken like.

_“So, **he** really did it,” _ She said slowly moving away only to be stopped by limping Joker.

 

 _“Shepard… what happened down there?”_ Joker asks looking at her but there was no answer only small vibration that he could feel.

             

              She was initially hesitant to answer.  _“Set course for Tuchanka.  We’ve done all we can.”_ Only Paretia could hear her mournful **subvocal** tone. She had prepared a meal for the two in anticipation of their return, but she should’ve taken note of how their connection was spiraling out of control, all her effort was for nothing. No one dares to stop Shepard when she heeded to her quarters.

 

              It still smelled of Garrus.  On her bed and couch, there was still parts of his armor and gear scattered around. As much as she wanted to move on, the thought of his absence was hard to ignore. Moving slowly to her bed she was ready to just give up here and there when doors suddenly open reveling Thane inside.

 

 _“Shepard, we need to move. Garrus is…”_ A low **growl** him stopped him instantly.

 

              _“Nothing to be done.”_

 

Thane’s brain overclocked. He knew of their relationship and knew he also knew Garrus had a tendency of hiding certain details from the others. Then he remembered seeing Garrus being dragged into an interrogation room after his long conversation with his son. Garrus was giving him a look and mouthing the words ‘I didn’t do it.’ _“Siha, whatever you think, Garrus choose a different path.”_

 

 _“You have no rights to call me that!”_ She **hissed.**

 

              _“You are one of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector.  I’m certain he’s chosen you.”_

 

 _“And how do you know it? I give **him** a choice and **he** chose revenge.”  _ Blue energy hovered over her body, threatening biotic retaliation. Garrus expression was still fresh in her mind when he chooses to find Sidonis leaving her alone.

 

              _“I’ve learned to recognize the gaze of those who’ve chosen the path of revenge.  His gaze did not match,”_ Thane continued. Silence fell between slowly Shepard took out her omni tool inspecting something for a moment her breath stops a low growl quickly build up in his power as her biotic.

 

              _“We all have been played,”_ Jane growled, observing a small dot that moves away from the dock into an apartment complex.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Solana looks at her general Pririus Achadonis and Kasius Caeldros after briefing the latter was still surprised that she was able that to interrogate her brother at all. Still calm and virtually unshakeable, she provided information about the event. For Achadonis, only Shepard’s involvement was important. It pained him knowing someone of Garrus’ caliber would stoop so low. The justification was there, but there was little he could do Vakarian out of the fire.

 

 _“So, it seems that she really tried to stop him,”_ Achadonis said looking at the report. _“Keep watching her.  Intel indicates she’s off to Tuchanka next…”_ Solana received a call from her father. With the approval of her general, she answered it.

 

 _“Yes dad?”_ She feigned interest.

 

 _“Sol, do you have any contact with Garrus?”_ The elder Vakarian made no attempt to hide his pain.

 

              _“Thanks to you, he’s made no attempt to return my calls,”_ she lied.

 

_“Never mind then…”_

 

              _“What happened?”_

 

 _“Nothing… nothing at all.”_ He abruptly hung up shortly after.

 

Casias Vakarian was at his lowest.  Lower than when his wife was diagnosed with her chronic illness. Each of his children chose a much different path than what he attempted to arrange, and the most recent report on Garrus only exacerbated matters.  His daughter knew more than she could reveal. He glanced back at a family photo, wondering just how things could’ve gone so wrong. He opened the terminal slowly with a heavy burden on his heart looking at the document before him. It only requires his approval and his family would become smaller.

 

              _“Spirits… how my son came to this…”_ he asks sobbed.

 

She quickly looks at her family status, Garrus still part of the Clan and no major information from any other family member. The closing app, she shifts her focus on Pririus and Kasius that they watched monitors with noticeable concern.

 

              _“What now?”_ Solana asks to looking at monitors.

 

 _“It’s Shepard. She is headed right towards C-Sec…”_ Achadonis said worryingly.   

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

              Shepard blood was boiling, heart pounding from running as fast as she could. Thane and Samara just behind her when they rush into the docking bay. There was no mistake the tracker she put on Sidonis during their first meeting was moving back and forth between ship and apartment. She feels foolish, cheated, someone is clearly toying with her and Garrus.

 

              _“Commander, the ship you are after is preparing for departure,”_ EDI announced. Shepard quickly contact flight control, pulling her Specter status to prevent the ship’s takeoff. Additionally, local civilians were pulled before her arrival. Whoever had the tracker was still onboard. Suddenly, the ship fired a rocket at them.  Narrowly shielded by Samara, Jane watched as flames circled around them, civilians running in panic nearby.  They rushed forward, shooting down a few rockets before contact. Closing proximity with the target, EDI managed to disable the ship’s defenses to allow safe approach.

 

              _“Be advised, you are nearing the physical limit of my operating boundaries.  Proceed with caution,”_ AI warned them.

 

              _“Copy.  Just make sure emergency services get here.”_ It was a standard turian design ship, but they move slowly looking for traps and other surprises.  There was only one other heat signature aboard. Moving slowly through the dark hall, Jane narrowly dodged the barrage of bullets

 

              _“You just couldn't let go do you!?”_ It was Sidonus. She clutched the pistol grip tightly, remembering the flakey, soft creature known as Sidonis it makes her sick and furious.

 

              _“Ahh did I hit a nerve there,”_ Sidonis ask sneeringly hearing her angry subvocal.

 

 _“ **Why** …” _she breathed.

 

              _“Why? Why?! I was the original **Archangel**! It was me who started this crusade against Omega! Finally, I was someone! No some low tier turian. It goes so well until **he** shows up. **Vakarian…** ” _he said with so much venom _“…a hero against Saren and son of Castis! Slips right into my place!”_ He fired another uncontrolled burst.   _“He stole my leadership and loyalty! The others turned their back, leaving me to be forgotten!”_ he continued ranting at the top of his lungs.

 

              _“ **He** should’ve died on Omega! You have no idea how angry that made me! Then I create a new plan, death wasn’t enough for him! I decide to make the rest of his life as much miserable as possible. Today I was ready to die in order to pull Garrus to hell with me! You almost ruin everything! Thankfully I have a backup plan. With my  Final applause, he will be convicted of crimes he did not commit and finally I will have my revenge! You hear me!” _

 

Now she was pissed.  She was not letting Sidonis take Garrus from her, whatever his reasoning. She was letting the rage build and finally yielded. In his drunken haze, Sidonis didn’t see her rapidly closing the distance. He stands up again to fire off another burst at her, confident she could neither dodge in the close quarters nor change direction with her current momentum. _“You are wide open!”_ he shouts triumphantly looking at her in the tight corridor. In a moment their eyes met there was no remorse left that Sidonis remember from their first meeting. He was looking at the void and then he blinks.

 

Too late did he anticipate the sheer momentum at which her biotics charged him, deflecting the rounds, bending the walls, and practically melting the gun in his hands. With no more remorse, she rams into him with bone-shattering momentum with elemental force. Standing back up again, she stared down at his barely conscious body, the smell of ozone filling the air. The lack of emotions to follow was like a head-hitting case of tinnitus from a mortar shell. What mattered was she felt no regret nor remorse for the turian she just pummelled.

 

              She rose one more fist for the killing blow when Samara interrupted, _“That’s enough Shepard. We got what we came for.”_ Emotions were still high, and the Justicar didn’t desire having her rage turned on herself.  Looking back at the elder asari, Jane displayed nothing but deep sadness.

 

              _“ **He** deserves all of this,” _ Jane returned, freeing herself using her biotic and struck one more time.     

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a little longer to write but I hope you will enjoy it as much as I when writing it. Thank you for all kudos and read don't forget to leave a comment :) 
> 
> As always thanks for Dr_Compass for helping me with this chapter.


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